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Wu-Disciple
10-12-2005, 03:36 PM
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they'll call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah.



If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Shit Head and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though the bill is only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

CATS
Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments
and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in his house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

What a woman says:

C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.

What a man hears: C'MON . blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, NOW

Jeru
10-12-2005, 03:39 PM
Interesting

Skellington
10-12-2005, 03:45 PM
You'r on a role aren't you

Queen Of Poetry
10-12-2005, 03:49 PM
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.




OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments
and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in his house.




These were my favorites.......LOL

002
10-12-2005, 04:26 PM
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

but i love cats....

100pr00f
10-12-2005, 04:32 PM
untill u kick it

Sicka than aidZ
10-12-2005, 04:33 PM
some of that shits pretty cold, good job

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

haha

YourNightmare.
10-12-2005, 04:39 PM
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Funny.

num2son
10-12-2005, 06:25 PM
Lol.