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Queen Of Poetry
02-08-2011, 11:27 AM
Police lab tests reveal yogurt had an extra added ingredient: semen (http://sandrarose.com/2011/02/police-lab-tests-reveal-yogurt-had-an-extra-added-ingredient-semen/)

Tuesday, February 8, 2011
http://sandrarose.com/images14/semen-tainted-yogurt-425.jpg
A New Mexico woman thought she was eating healthy when she accepted a yogurt sample from a male clerk at a local grocery store. After swallowing the sample, the woman thought she tasted an extra added ingredient that wasn’t on the menu.
So she took her suspicions — and what was left of the yogurt sample — to the New Mexico police department where tests were run on the yogurt. The lab tests came back positive for ejaculated protein, aka semen, and saliva.
Police immediately took out search warrants to obtain blood and DNA samples from the grocery store clerk, Anthony Garcia, 31. Police said the body fluids were necessary to make sure the suspect doesn’t have any sexually transmitted diseases.
They busted Garcia on the spot after it was determined that he had two outstanding warrants for a 2009 arrest for criminal sexual activity with a minor.
The 28-year-old victim, whose name was redacted from the police report, was shopping with her daughter at the Sunflower grocery store in Albuquerque, when she was approached by Garcia, who worked in the store’s dairy department.
He offered her a sample of yogurt, which she accepted. But she was immediately grossed out and disgusted when she realized the sample “tasted like semen.”
In a handwritten statement, the woman wrote, “I spit it out on the floor many times cuz I was upset.”
She wrote that when she talked to the grocery store manager Catherine Flores, “she told me was a Greek yoghurt. People love it has lot of protein on it.”
The woman said she paid for her groceries and returned home where she discussed the incident with her boyfriend. She told him how Garcia “just come with one sample just for me,” and that “he was so pushy to tell me how it taste.”
Her boyfriend was sufficiently alarmed enough to accompany her back to the store, where they summoned the police. When police arrived, an “extremely nervous” Garcia told them he discarded the yogurt samples in a trash compactor after the woman complained about the taste.
This story gives new meaning to the phrase “You are what you eat.”

issues
02-08-2011, 11:34 AM
he needed better advertising..

see:

http://www.funnyhub.com/content_images/6992_4255_thumb.jpg


..

cutn' heads
02-08-2011, 11:35 AM
she obviously eats a lot of semen to be able to detect it like that...

diggy
02-08-2011, 01:13 PM
she obviously eats a lot of semen to be able to detect it like that...

Exactly. You beat me to the comment.

cutn' heads
02-08-2011, 01:18 PM
it was the most obvious comment...

Wh0am3ye?
02-08-2011, 01:25 PM
I read a news article similar to this a dentist was giving what the patient thought was some type of medicine ended up being little sea horses.

Queen Of Poetry
02-08-2011, 08:39 PM
^^ Eeww




she obviously eats a lot of semen to be able to detect it like that...


I thought that too

3rd3y3
02-08-2011, 08:43 PM
As a result of her slip of tongue moment, her boyfriend should demand service (since she knows the taste) or dump her.

Professor Poopsnagle
02-08-2011, 08:48 PM
— and what was left of the yogurt sample —

lol

"This story gives new meaning to the phrase “You are what you eat.”"

No it doesn't... why?

Queen Of Poetry
02-08-2011, 08:53 PM
— and what was left of the yogurt sample —

lol

"This story gives new meaning to the phrase “You are what you eat.”"

No it doesn't... why?

Haha


That's true. How do semen act?

Professor Poopsnagle
02-08-2011, 09:00 PM
My semen act like Keanu Reeves.

No, this doesn't give an extra meaning to "you are what you eat". I'm actually feeling angry about that sentence.

Meta4
02-08-2011, 10:37 PM
my semen act like Jeff Spicoli.

Mr. R&B
02-09-2011, 10:22 AM
She wrote that when she talked to the grocery store manager Catherine Flores, “she told me was a Greek yoghurt. People love it has lot of protein on it.”


This part had me laughing hysterically.


I'd love to read the entire complaint letter, this woman obviously failed english class in high school.

It's evident by the multiple mistakes in the quotes from said formal complaint.

Uncle Steezo
02-09-2011, 11:58 AM
i nutted in a chick mouth and she spit it out saying it tasted like yogurt.

ALCATRAZ
02-09-2011, 12:05 PM
she knew it was semen from first taste lolz