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View Full Version : Do yall think i can take this further


Locust
06-06-2011, 09:49 PM
Can I get some honest opinions on if yall think I should persue this with my flow and swag?

The tyler pics are for commercial reasons

7Sjrc7OJJ1A

CEITEDMOFO
06-06-2011, 10:01 PM
YOU SOUND LIKE A GAY VERSION OF KENDRICK , IF KENDRICK JUST FINISHED HAVING SEX WITH DRAkE AND TYLER PERRY IS FUCKIN WACK

IF U WANNA SOUND ILL USE THE BASS FROM YA CHEST U BITCH ASSNIGGA
fTzxN8nsUpw

Locust
06-06-2011, 10:29 PM
haha aight thanks man, kendrick lamar is ill. thanks for the tip

Uncle Steezo
06-06-2011, 11:24 PM
why have i never heard you before? this is dope.
we should collab some day.

CEITEDMOFO
06-06-2011, 11:28 PM
STYLE WANTs TO BANG LOCUST

EAGLE EYE
06-06-2011, 11:31 PM
STYLE WANTs TO BANG ANY WHITE WUCORP MC's or BEATMAKERS.

HE NEEDS HIS 'FIX'

Dokuro
06-06-2011, 11:32 PM
not that bad

Locust
06-07-2011, 05:56 AM
not that bad

Thanx yo and thnx a lot style, nobody checks my shit in audio booth so thought id try here

Mumm Ra
06-07-2011, 06:23 AM
i enjoyed it
beat was tight too

Uncle Steezo
06-07-2011, 06:38 AM
STYLE WANTs TO BANG ANY WHITE WUCORP MC's or BEATMAKERS.

HE NEEDS HIS 'FIX'

hahahaha robby's jealous.
you gettin old and your ass chin has gotten flabby.

cutn' heads
06-07-2011, 08:13 AM
invest in a proper mic. you got a creative flow some nice wordplay. if you really want people to listen it has to sound appealing.

food for thought
06-07-2011, 09:04 AM
this is not bad at all man.

i think your flow is dope and i like how you rhyme

this song, the lyrics wasnt bad at all. it fit the theme pretty well and it turned out to be a nice song

the only thing i can say is that the track was a little long. I would have made it a little shorter so as to not lose people

food for thought
06-07-2011, 09:07 AM
btw, i think its weird as fuck that you put pictures of tyler in your video lmao

also you should stop using the term 'swag' and/or any other deviations of that word

Dokuro
06-07-2011, 06:18 PM
well i'm sure if you work on your vocab and content you will get a better response out of me but mainly work on that vocab learn the secrets of suffixes it works for Immortal technique

you have your word play and flow down good

do this and my "not bad" may increase to "pretty good" if you want anything higher then that from me you will need to work on your voice

its kind of annoying


i'm a vary difficult critic

from 1-10

Flow-7
Wordplay-5
Vocabulary-3
Content-3

beat-6
voice-1

over all=4(4.1)

Wu-Tang Forum Internet Poster
06-07-2011, 06:24 PM
well i'm sure if you work on your vocab and content you will get a better response out of me but mainly work on that vocab learn the secrets of suffixes it works for Immortal technique

you have your word play and flow down good

do this and my "not bad" may increase to "pretty good" if you want anything higher then that from me you will need to work on your voice

its kind of annoying


i'm a vary difficult critic

from 1-10

Flow-7
Wordplay-5
Vocabulary-3
Content-3

beat-6
voice-1

over all=4(4.1)

Did you just tell somebody else to work on their vocab??

Also, nobody who uses Immortal Technique as a syllabus should be allowed to critique or evaluate rapping ability.

Dokuro
06-07-2011, 06:32 PM
bite me and um its my grammar an spelling i need work at

Dokuro
06-07-2011, 06:34 PM
oh and take a quick look at what i said about Immortal technique it was a critique

i was talking about how he used the trick to make people think his vocab is greater then it really is "the secrets of suffixes"

ism always rhymes with ism regardless of the word

Locust
06-07-2011, 09:12 PM
oh and take a quick look at what i said about Immortal technique it was a critique

i was talking about how he used the trick to make people think his vocab is greater then it really is "the secrets of suffixes"

ism always rhymes with ism regardless of the word

hey man nice to hear this, good to know people dont only care about the flow. i am actually a very skilled writer. I have been writing lyrics since i was little, but thats the thing i was only writing lyrics, not working on my voice or flow. Up until the start of this year ive been making lots of tracks soley focusing on the flow, because im already at a certain level with writing lyrcs.. each verse i wrote takes literally 20 minutes of my time, but i put hours into developing the flow. hopefully i can find a balance soon.
thanks for peeping this and listening to it carefully, peace!!

netscape check two
06-07-2011, 09:15 PM
Yeah, lay off the word swag and don't say real talk every few minutes like some others do

Locust
06-07-2011, 09:20 PM
invest in a proper mic. you got a creative flow some nice wordplay. if you really want people to listen it has to sound appealing.

thanks man, i think i have problems mixing, im using a beat making program and its harder to edit the vocals with the limited effects. if u know a good program i can download lemme know.. peace!

this is not bad at all man.

i think your flow is dope and i like how you rhyme

this song, the lyrics wasnt bad at all. it fit the theme pretty well and it turned out to be a nice song


the only thing i can say is that the track was a little long. I would have made it a little shorter so as to not lose people

thanks homie, means a lot. appreciate you taking the time to give me critique and listen to the whole song. i will definetely take into all of your words of advkce. and the positive comments you gave to me i will take into my confidence in making music. everytime i get a hater i will remember that that nigga food for thought knows im dope, and i will strike right back. i hope that you will remember my name as an artist and when you see me on tv with tyler the creator you will know that i started here getting this compliment. i will inform you if i have any new music and i hope that we can continue this form of sharing and direct feedback. keep up the good commenting.

oh yeah btw if i want to make the track shorter what would you recommend taking out, the start with the harold and kumar or the end?

Locust
06-07-2011, 09:21 PM
Yeah, lay off the word swag and don't say real talk every few minutes like some others do

you mean dumb it down a bit rap about everyday shit?

netscape check two
06-07-2011, 09:25 PM
How is it dumbing it down by not saying the word swag? That's like the most common stupid word that generic rappers and other wierdos are saying nowadays. I wasn't implying that you shouldn't be real, I just meant you don't have to say 'real talk' after every sentence, like some others do at the forum.

JASPER
06-07-2011, 09:32 PM
Stop stretching words and make that annoying voice when you do that.

Locust
06-07-2011, 09:39 PM
How is it dumbing it down by not saying the word swag? That's like the most common stupid word that generic rappers and other wierdos are saying nowadays. I wasn't implying that you shouldn't be real, I just meant you don't have to say 'real talk' after every sentence, like some others do at the forum.
yo man you mad?

nah but i still dont know what u refering too by real talk. i wasnt talking about swag btw i understand u dont like the word lmao

netscape check two
06-07-2011, 09:44 PM
Are you related to Drunken Monk?

LoTec
06-07-2011, 11:02 PM
If you loved to make music do it, who gives a fuck what any of us think. That being said the song cool, keep at it. I think I listened to a song or two of yours in the Booth and they were good too.

cutn' heads
06-08-2011, 11:56 AM
you need to try and sound blacker. real talk.

Locust
06-08-2011, 06:55 PM
im doing my best man^

aight thanks for comments guys, and i dont really give a fuck if someone thinks i can make it, i just want some views on my video lol. much love corp fam

Uncle Steezo
06-08-2011, 07:24 PM
you need to try and sound blacker. real talk.
hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!

Olive Oil Goombah
06-08-2011, 09:14 PM
ur fucking white???



jesus....

JASPER
06-08-2011, 10:14 PM
ur fucking white???



Jesus....
hahahahaaa!

llBARlllCODEll
06-08-2011, 11:07 PM
you need to try and sound blacker. real talk.

LMAO Real Talk

Locust
06-09-2011, 08:36 PM
what????

Locust
12-29-2011, 04:41 PM
aii thanx 4 peeping yall much love! more tracks on the way very soon

SKAMPOE
12-29-2011, 06:49 PM
this shit wa mad dope yo

i have to cosign this post tho
btw, i think its weird as fuck that you put pictures of tyler in your video lmao

also you should stop using the term 'swag' and/or any other deviations of that word