View Full Version : Jokes

10-25-2005, 08:28 PM
What's better than roses on a piano?

2 lips on an organ

10-25-2005, 08:47 PM
i'm going to pay no mind to political correctness, because these are jokes.

a priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they pass a playground full of children playing

the priest says "wanna screw some kids?"

the rabbi says "out of what?"

Big Risk
10-25-2005, 08:53 PM
a priest and a rabbi walk into a super market and the priesnt says "Lets get a ham" and the rabbi says "no... I cant... its forbidden."

10-25-2005, 09:02 PM


10-26-2005, 03:14 AM
*whats the diffrence between micheal jackson and a greyhound ?

~greyhound waits for the hair to come out.

*whats the diffrence between micheal jackson and pimples ?

~pimples dont come on your face till your atleast 12.

(im white but dont take offence - its a joke)

*why is there cotton in pill bottles ?

~to remind the blacks they picked cotton b4 they sold drugs.

(this will even it out)

*whats the diffrence between a park bench and a red neck ?

~park bench can support a family

Sicka than aidZ
10-26-2005, 03:43 AM
wanna know why black folks call white folks "honkey's?"

it's the last thing they hear before we run em over :king:

Sicka than aidZ
10-26-2005, 03:44 AM
~to remind the blacks they picked cotton b4 they sold drugs.

(this will even it out)
hahahahahahahahaha lmao

Sicka than aidZ
10-26-2005, 03:52 AM
shit homes, i gotta c my PO at 7:30, like 7 hours from now. he's black, ima laugh so hard, fuck i dont know if i can hold the shit in, that cotton joke an michael jackson shits got me fuckin spazz laughin an shit. fuckin hurts

10-26-2005, 04:21 AM
anytimes |)

10-26-2005, 04:56 AM
Why did michael jackson go to K-mart?

He heard they had boys pants half off.

10-26-2005, 04:59 AM

10-26-2005, 05:06 AM
Why did michael jackson go to K-mart?

He heard they had boys pants half off.
ima use that one

^O^ thanks mate

10-26-2005, 05:08 AM
a aboriginal (native aussie) walks into a bar with one thong (flip flops or wotever you yanks call em) on, bartender says "loose a thong mate?" abo says "nah! found one"

10-26-2005, 05:12 AM
a aboriginal (native aussie) walks into a bar with one thong (flip flops or wotever you yanks call em) on, bartender says "loose a thong mate?" abo says "nah! found one"

10-26-2005, 05:18 AM
you have to say this one but yeah -

why does micheal jackson like 28 year olds ?

because there is twenty of them

10-26-2005, 05:34 AM
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

"No, not really I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"

"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and have a movement every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."

10-26-2005, 05:35 AM
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times.

"One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream."

So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes."

So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.

She said, "You now have 3 wishes."

I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger."

She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!

She then asked, "What will be your second wish?"

I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. "We then made love for hours!"

Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?"

I looked at her and replied, "How about a little head?"

10-26-2005, 06:22 AM
ok i got one...

Skale walks into a gay bar..

oh wait that aint a joke, my fault

10-26-2005, 07:57 AM

10-26-2005, 07:59 AM
this penut was aressted yesterday........................

for assalt

10-26-2005, 09:16 AM
george bush - AAaaahahahaha

Big Risk
10-26-2005, 02:12 PM

10-26-2005, 02:19 PM
Loyalty in Marriage
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side.........You know what?"
"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck, get the fuck away from me."

10-26-2005, 03:12 PM
intellekt's life

10-26-2005, 04:09 PM
hehehe nice one gigy

10-26-2005, 04:17 PM
what are three words you don't want to hear when you're making love

"Honey, I'm home!"

10-26-2005, 04:41 PM
how do u sink a canadian's submarine

knock on the door

Sicka than aidZ
10-28-2005, 01:39 AM

yo, 2 guys stuck in the desert, 1 guy says "im so thirsty id like the sweat off a cows balls"

other dude says "moo moo buckaroo"

10-28-2005, 02:18 AM

whats the diffrence between micheal jackson and a jockey

a jockey is licenced to ride 12 yr olds

10-28-2005, 09:46 AM

10-28-2005, 10:01 AM
What do you call a dog with metal balls and no back legs?


Aqueous Moon
10-28-2005, 06:55 PM
Peace -

Have you heard of the Chinese couple that
gave birth to a retarded child? They named him
Sum Tin Wong.