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View Full Version : Rare, Legendary SuperHero based on Heat


EAGLE EYE
05-07-2012, 01:36 AM
I NEVER READ COMICS LIKE MOST OF YOU NERD BOMBERS GROWING UP. But I watched that movie KICKASS recently and thought of what a real-life superhero based on NewJeruzian Heat Holden Caulfield would be like:nerdy:


BACKSTORY:

He's born in a eastcoast shanty town with a sweaty, cray father who resembles Danny Trejo

http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-photos/danny-trejo-machete-los-angeles-premiere-XYzqbY.jpg

The father beats him his entire childhood with a USB cable and makes him work in his tile shop, organizing all of the inventory.

The tile inventory is ordered based on how people in the village identify themselves when the Census comes around



Hispanic
George Zimmerman
FatherTime
Hispanic-Black
Hispanic-Other
Sort of Cholombian
Cracker
Wu-Tang lovin' Cracker





After 18 years of beatings in the Tile shop, and watching 'Boy Meets World' on a 10inch TV...


http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ysu535My1r710zgo1_400.jpg








HE learns a cold fact
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m35yk24e3L1qi8c67o3_250.gif
http://www.southportweekender.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/ka.jpg

Upon walking back from TJ MAXX and not being able to afford that 2003 Polo shirt, he learns something that changes him forever. Like double-disc forever.














HIS TRANSITION GLASSES GIVE HIM SOUL CONTROLLER-LIKE SUPER POWERS and the ability transform from Goon to Geek to ShaoliN to almost anything faster than Crumple can eat boogers
http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/314406_10150340473554877_788474876_8356158_1339693 082_n.jpg












[fast forward 7 years]



Loses virginity
http://img804.imageshack.us/img804/3619/alexjonesin.png




[fast forward another 5 years]





A Geek Squad Legend is Born
http://upload.offensivex.com/images/fabiogeeks.png












PRESENT day:

Narrative:

"Caught in a vicious cycle of a 5 day work week, shitty benefits, no pension and a undeniable 5 year dry-spell, our hero 'TRANSITION MAN' is stuck in a blue collar, blue balled, bind."


http://i48.tinypic.com/5n3x4o.jpg


He's up against the Perfect Storm



rising gas prices
rising grout prices
Robby's thread making abilities
Fermi's photoshops
Anonymous
poverty






Which of these super powers can save him?



Dad's Grout Gun
Transition into George Zimmerman colored floor tile
Dirty Polo shirt shield
Geek Squad Protection Plan
ESC key
Ripped off mattress tag
LIL B's catalog





ALL I GOT 4 NOW. :nerdy::$

FatherSl!me
05-07-2012, 02:12 AM
http://img804.imageshack.us/img804/3619/alexjonesin.png
LMAO!!! Fukin terrible

KERZO
05-07-2012, 03:32 AM
http://www.stupidgifs.com/images/full/577.gif

BLACK BART SIMPSON
05-07-2012, 05:15 AM
if heat cant afford ralphy and he's a self-titled "thousand-aire" does that make me a "multi-thousandaire" ? good job rob i like this thread already...

i'm really proud of you and how far your thread making abilities have come... you've got my swag blessing...

-Killbot

Sky Blue Bally Kid
05-07-2012, 06:20 AM
http://upload.offensivex.com/images/fabiogeeks.png


:nerdy:



Which of these super powers can save him?



Dad's Grout Gun
Transition into George Zimmerman colored floor tile
Dirty Polo shirt shield
Geek Squad Protection Plan
ESC key
Ripped off mattress tag
LIL B's catalog


ALL I GOT 4 NOW. :nerdy::$



Don't forget his ability to fit an 82" TV into his 2 meters squared lounge room and also a queen sized bed and 12 relatives into a 1 meter squared master bedroom.

PANDA PISS
05-07-2012, 07:29 AM
hahahaha, you need to come up with a suitable villain for heat to use his superpowers against, like fermi in a choda boy costume.

maybe he can fling tiles extra fast at his enemies like ninja stars?

Soul Controller
05-07-2012, 07:44 AM
super powers = escape key!

epic

BRASSKNUCKLED PAI MEI
05-07-2012, 10:23 AM
CANT WAiT TO SEE HIS SELF ETHER RESPONSE.

food for thought
05-07-2012, 10:26 AM
^lol

Soul Controller
05-07-2012, 11:54 AM
lol, thats like shieted trade mark,

self ethering :S (sp)

EAGLE EYE
05-07-2012, 12:04 PM
you need to come up with a suitable villain for heat to use his superpowers against

Probably gonna go with and immigration officer that looks like Steve Wilkos, who beats up poor ppl and shoots canisters of AJAX

main_man
05-07-2012, 01:00 PM
i think you may be on to something, rob.

this story is already pulling me in.

maybe the steve wilkos guy wears a luchador mask, spewing racial slurs.

add a gay, midget sidekick. maybe with a drinking problem.
and the "geek squad mobile". a best buy vw bug with an impressive double 6x9 sound system that only bangs the hardest east coast hip hop.


http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSxtLiQjO9VvsPXweFbO9uaIuJrtNscJ QmhKBJfwibZCkAXYshC

EAGLE EYE
05-07-2012, 01:03 PM
Sidekick = his head quake buddy

Sky Blue Bally Kid
05-07-2012, 02:54 PM
Probably gonna go with and immigration officer that looks like Steve Wilkos, who beats up poor ppl and shoots canisters of AJAX

I'd imagine he'd utilise one of Ceited's worst fears as his henchmen also...slim, attractive females!

http://michiganmilitia.com/images/banners/INDEX1.jpg

They're like cryptonite to Ceited!

The latino Avengers 'The South Beach Crew' would have Ceited's back though...

http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/s720x720/188214_132466963492296_100001869803012_200451_9589 10_n.jpg

Featuring Crazy Eyes Alejandro and The Human Brassiere Top...

EAGLE EYE
05-07-2012, 03:01 PM
I have images turned off right now so im not sure what you posted

But yes, girls under 140lbs and checking account overdraft fees are his kryptonite

CEITEDMOFO
05-07-2012, 04:24 PM
if heat cant afford ralphy and he's a self-titled "thousand-aire"

ALL MY SHITS IS RAPLH & LACOSTE LITTLE BRAH
http://www.miscupload.com/upload/48189885684211486360125.gif
ROFL@ THE WAY THE THREAD STARTED MY DAD LOOKS A LIL LIKE THAT SINCE HES FROM THE CITY OF BOGOTA,

ROB ALSO GETS COMPARED TO JAY LENO WHILE BITCHES CREAM THERE SHANTY PANTYS AND CALL ME CARMELO
http://cdn.hollywoodgrind.com/images/2008/4/carmelo-anthony.jpg

ROB AND THE REST OF WUCORP WISHED THEY LOOKED LIKE THIS WHEN THEY REACH 31

http://i48.tinypic.com/5n3x4o.jpg



ROB @ 31
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZTInxdsRKgc/S8p6p20zv4I/AAAAAAAABd0/Q3fRBjfMREw/s320/The+Warriors+3.jpg

P.S. IMA GET A LALA BITCH COMING SOON
http://theiinteamblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/carmelo_anthony_and_lala_welcome_their_first_child-arton40724-280x275.jpg?w=280
8spFRD1UtWE

EAGLE EYE
05-07-2012, 04:45 PM
Carmelo..




http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/44913_155969257759103_155968731092489_336928_15968 89_n.jpg

CEITEDMOFO
05-07-2012, 04:50 PM
http://www.thefilmcynics.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/lutherwarriors.gif

EAGLE EYE
05-07-2012, 04:54 PM
ROFL i have an idea
http://www.creationsedgegames.com/CR/bellstartbgg.jpg

CEITEDMOFO
05-07-2012, 05:06 PM
ROBS A LEGEND IN THE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS COMMUNItY

KERZO
05-07-2012, 05:10 PM
Heatorama already has his costume sorted so best be prepared..

http://upload.offensivex.com/images/heatorama1.jpg

:nerdy:
Don't forget his ability to fit an 82" TV into his 2 meters squared lounge room and also a queen sized bed and 12 relatives into a 1 meter squared master bedroom.

^HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

As well as heat, In wu-corp superhero universe, we have Skampoe as 'CAPTAIN FATMAN' =

http://upload.offensivex.com/images/fatman1.jpg

Robbie Is the 'Dick with the Chin' so he's known as 'THE CHICK' -

http://upload.offensivex.com/images/thechick1.jpg

TSA is 'NIGERIAN NABRASKAN PANTSBOY' -

http://upload.offensivex.com/images/tsaman.jpg

And I'm simply known as 'SUPERPLAID SHLONGINATOR' -

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M7j7JDdorjM/TZLmIE2KLEI/AAAAAAAAAQY/Ldcq26KcgCk/s1600/funny-superheroes-costumes-21.jpg

KERZO
05-09-2012, 03:42 PM
Oh and I almost forgot about Stylerman...

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d31/Fermex/Photoshop%20Edits/Stylerman1.jpg

Gotta love PVC!

CEITEDMOFO
05-09-2012, 03:56 PM
IF I LOOKED LIKE THiS
http://upload.offensivex.com/images/heatorama1.jpg

I WOULD PROBABLY HAVE TO BAG A REGULAR BITCH LIKE U DWEEBS AND GET SOMETHING LIKE THiS
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/396913_2777849120910_1098585201_33165253_154098564 5_n.jpg

Wu-Tang Forum Internet Poster
05-09-2012, 04:00 PM
lol @ thread

KERZO
05-09-2012, 04:08 PM
I WOULD PROBABLY HAVE TO BAG A REGULAR BITCH LIKE U DWEEBS AND GET SOMETHING LIKE THiS
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/396913_2777849120910_1098585201_33165253_154098564 5_n.jpg

Would this regular bitch be like the hypothetical imaginary hot chicks that you brag about but don't have a single photo taken with them?

Plus what's with you posting pics of houses with bare furniture and tiled floors? You're like wu-corp's hobo home stylist!

CEITEDMOFO
05-09-2012, 04:19 PM
ALf THINKS I CANT BAG CHICKS AND IN HIS LEAGUE
http://www.miscupload.com/upload/48189885684211486360125.gif

KERZO
05-09-2012, 04:21 PM
Probably gonna go with and immigration officer that looks like Steve Wilkos, who beats up poor ppl and shoots canisters of AJAX

http://upload.offensivex.com/images/stevesilko.jpg

CEITEDMOFO
05-09-2012, 04:24 PM
http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/superdave.jpg

KERZO
05-09-2012, 04:34 PM
Tell R-R-R-Retarock that his panties don't have magical powers...

http://upload.offensivex.com/images/brockmidge.jpg

BRASSKNUCKLED PAI MEI
05-09-2012, 04:37 PM
Bwahahahahahahahaah

CEITEDMOFO
05-09-2012, 04:39 PM
LMAO I WANNA POST THAT ON HIS FB BUT HE WOULD PROBABLY WANNA DELETE ME SINCE I ALREADY HAVE THESE ON FB
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash2/5892_1089808537095_1582945482_30246606_2011861_n.j pg
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/5892_1100208117078_1582945482_30271891_1700137_n.j pg
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/5892_1089456248288_1582945482_30245900_5418465_n.j pg
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash2/30449_1301564310857_1582945482_30714509_2523882_n. jpg
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/5892_1089808297089_1582945482_30246605_5228489_n.j pg

CEITEDMOFO
05-09-2012, 04:42 PM
AS FOR THE HOES I'vE ALREADY POSTED ON WUCORP HERE WAS SOME
http://upload.offensivex.com/images/2614551830.jpg

SOME SOUTH BEACH BIDDIEs
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/195860_1592820992092_1582945482_31291943_6586090_n .jpg
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/264575_10150302899009810_681519809_9363646_2446691 _n.jpg
YEA MY HOES ARE SHOOTERS

http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/198965_1592823872164_1582945482_31291950_6100592_n .jpg

JERZ IS ALREADY SUMMER TIME SO I WILL UPDATE WIT NEW HOE PICTURES :learning:
IV1qroovzQA
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2011/02/11/sports/basketball/11carmeloanthony-offthedribble/11carmeloanthony-offthedribble-blog480.jpg

BRASSKNUCKLED PAI MEI
05-09-2012, 04:53 PM
THE SHOOTER IS NICE BUT YOU AINT IN THAT PIC SO AS ALPHA HAS STATED IT DiDNT HAPPEN

KERZO
05-09-2012, 05:18 PM
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/195860_1592820992092_1582945482_31291943_6586090_n .jpg





Do you smoke heroin or is there another reason why your face looks like a tattered ballsack in your pics?

CEITEDMOFO
05-09-2012, 05:19 PM
ALF^ IM ALWAYS DRUNK LIKE OL DIRTy

BOLO WISHEs HE WAS WIT THE GODS ON SOUTH BEACH DURING THE WMC
tl7EZXdGvi8

P.S. THE SHOOTER IS LEGENDARY FOR HER CUTENESs
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/333_34462489809_681519809_1366191_6322_n.jpg

KERZO
05-09-2012, 05:32 PM
Yeah loads of us get drunk but we don't look like a junkie, only you seem to manage that look.

Just think though, if a woman ever feels depressed and lonely enough to have one of your kids, you could save medical bills by making her have the baby on your lounge floor cos it would be easy to mop up the afterbirth.

You could give her some of your heroin to help with the pain, stick her in your bedroom that barely fits your bed, close the door, shoot up the rest of the dope and watch some basketball in peace while imagining about banging 10 foot amazonian chicks.

http://tweetgif.com/viewimg.php?width=500&image=/uploads/full/71486127_97bc5e308770a8c572d79c718246e4ab.gif

Wu-Tang Forum Internet Poster
05-09-2012, 05:36 PM
[COLOR=Cyan]

Just think though, if a woman ever feels depressed and lonely enough to have one of your kids, you could save medical bills by making her have the baby on your lounge floor cos it would be easy to mop up the afterbirth.

that was a very long and convoluted tile joke.

good photoshop work though.

CEITEDMOFO
05-09-2012, 05:54 PM
that was a very long and convoluted tile joke.

good photoshop work though.

HES PRETTY FURIoUS DOOMSDAN

Wu-Tang Forum Internet Poster
05-09-2012, 05:59 PM
fermi's photoshop game is on point, but when I read his words, I always feel like he's probably scrunching up his face and clenching his asscheeks together really tight.

and then after he clicks "post reply" he cracks his knuckles and clasps his hand behind his head and smiles smugly to himself.

PANDA PISS
05-09-2012, 06:17 PM
lmao at alphateks corny jokes, i'm rollin son...

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_EgifiFD5cYs/S9YvcZcIKnI/AAAAAAAABdc/-VYjL5h7QUI/s1600/diehardkinfe.jpg

someone should photoshop heat into an avengers poster. i got a new superpower for heat, his glasses are like the green lantern ring, when he puts them on its like rose tinted glasses and his geek squad paycheck appears to have another 0 at the end.

NjNBC4mC5y4

this way he believes he is rich and can recruit golddigging orange faced jersey hoes that have mad tile and curtain game.

Sky Blue Bally Kid
05-09-2012, 06:35 PM
http://upload.offensivex.com/images/2614551830.jpg


Ceited's HQ, the Fat Cave!

CEITEDMOFO
05-09-2012, 06:43 PM
http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/398176_379593035425717_100001250715383_1096752_811 717571_n.jpg
U WISH U CAN BAG UGLY HOES WIT FATTYS TOO CONCEITED FOR DWEEBs SUCH AS YOURSELF
:W

FatherSl!me
05-09-2012, 11:34 PM
P.S. THE SHOOTER IS LEGENDARY FOR HER CUTENESs
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/333_34462489809_681519809_1366191_6322_n.jpg

I'd shoot my load on that cute face & adorable lips.

HAHAHA @ Heats google hoes. Least he the only 1 postin pussy thou.

Nerds like Alf talk shit but can't post not 1 broad they smashed

SKAMPOE
05-10-2012, 01:20 AM
Probably gonna go with and immigration officer that looks like Steve Wilkos, who beats up poor ppl and shoots canisters of AJAX
Ahahahahha classic thread
ROBS A LEGEND IN THE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS COMMUNItY
ahhahahahahha
fermi's photoshop game is on point, but when I read his words, I always feel like he's probably scrunching up his face and clenching his asscheeks together really tight.

and then after he clicks "post reply" he cracks his knuckles and clasps his hand behind his head and smiles smugly to himself.word up

I'd shoot my load on that cute face & adorable lips.

HAHAHA @ Heats google hoes. Least he the only 1 postin pussy thou.

Nerds like Alf talk shit but can't post not 1 broad they smashed
indeed

Soul Controller
05-10-2012, 05:48 AM
AS FOR THE HOES I'vE ALREADY POSTED ON WUCORP HERE WAS SOME
http://upload.offensivex.com/images/2614551830.jpg

SOME SOUTH BEACH BIDDIEs



Ceited's HQ, the Fat Cave!


dont know if ceited fatter than the ladies...
id actually feel sick touching the ladies ceited has posted.. but..

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/535814_290101441079229_118956561527052_631424_9689 25098_n.jpg



I think it would be better if the villian was.,, one of the following 2 characters..
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/553800_171376129649600_167290316724848_255177_1846 27578_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/184067_10150098492638119_627808118_6020952_6546121 _n.jpg

KERZO
05-10-2012, 05:53 AM
fermi's photoshop game is on point, but when I read his words, I always feel like he's probably scrunching up his face and clenching his asscheeks together really tight.

and then after he clicks "post reply" he cracks his knuckles and clasps his hand behind his head and smiles smugly to himself.

It's always been that way. Style was saying the same thing 5 years ago and ain't nuttin changed. Awesome Photoshops/Corny Jokes is my whole wu-corp spiel. It's everlasting like the cosmos.

Ceited's HQ, the Fat Cave!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

http://pokebot.everyboty.net/pix/1062.gif

BRASSKNUCKLED PAI MEI
05-10-2012, 08:54 AM
ALF^ IM ALWAYS DRUNK LIKE OL DIRTy

BOLO WISHEs HE WAS WIT THE GODS ON SOUTH BEACH DURING THE WMC
tl7EZXdGvi8

P.S. THE SHOOTER IS LEGENDARY FOR HER CUTENESs
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/333_34462489809_681519809_1366191_6322_n.jpg


I Approve but she needs to stop making the duck lip face.

KERZO
05-10-2012, 09:43 AM
http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/398176_379593035425717_100001250715383_1096752_811 717571_n.jpg
U WISH U CAN BAG UGLY HOES WIT FATTYS TOO CONCEITED FOR DWEEBs SUCH AS YOURSELF
:W

No matter how cute a woman is, a squint eye always throws me off. She should wear a patch to help straighten her vision out.

BRASSKNUCKLED PAI MEI
05-10-2012, 09:59 AM
Plus she's doing the booty tooch hold the gut in and hide it with your arm move

Sky Blue Bally Kid
05-10-2012, 12:30 PM
http://upload.offensivex.com/images/2614551830.jpg


I'm not too sure if that chick is conscious in this pic...

And I'm not too sure if that chick is not really a man...

http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/398176_379593035425717_100001250715383_1096752_811 717571_n.jpg


Dafuq, her legs are like 2 feet long rofl!

CEITEDMOFO
05-10-2012, 03:52 PM
No matter how cute a woman is, a squint eye always throws me off. She should wear a patch to help straighten her vision out.

SHES NOT REALLY CUTE SHE LOOKS BETTER CAUSE HER BODY AND SHE DRESSES SLUTTy SHES REAL CONCEITED AND WONT TALK TO NONE OF YA'LL
SHE WAS HOT PREGGO THOUGH
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/403525_380077085377312_100001250715383_1097565_115 2347726_n.jpg


THE FLORIDA CHICK IS NICE

ALL SOUTH BEACH PRETTY CHICKS ARE EASY TO BAG

KERZO
05-10-2012, 04:37 PM
^ I don't even wanna know how many types of STD's that skanks gunt has got nestling away in there!