View Full Version : Why The Chicken Crossed The Road: Many Perspections

11-02-2005, 04:50 AM
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

SADDAM HUSSEIN/2: It is the Mother of all Chickens.


CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HYPOCRITES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the
newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship
with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution
strategy and implementation processes.
Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken
use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the
chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy
within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse
cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson
consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-
day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital,
both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in
order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting
and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of
poultry cross-media processes.

The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful
environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a
consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's
mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a
total business integration solution.
Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,"Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken
did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why?
The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever
think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the
place, anyway?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Rather, it is, Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in
our haste to observe the chicken crossing?

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally elected in
such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the
chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road - it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

PAT BUCHANNAN: The chicken crossed the road to steal a job from a decent,
hardworking American.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken
crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

>> >
>> > Did the chicken cross the road?
>> > Did he cross it with a toad?
>> > Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
>> > but why it crossed it, I've not been told!

THE POPE: That is only for God to know.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

11-02-2005, 06:24 AM
Why did the pervert cross the road?

Because his dick was in the chicken.

11-02-2005, 06:29 AM
cuz intellekts dirty fuckin clothes smelled fuckin bad

11-02-2005, 06:55 AM
LMAO@Skale for thinkin im dirty! ur the one livin in a wanna be crack house!! hahahah, HA i say HA and :fucku:

11-02-2005, 07:14 AM
lol, what the hell did this intell3t guy do 4 people 2 attack him?

Musta been bad, or is he just wanna them dudes ppl love 2 hate?

11-02-2005, 07:25 AM
:clap: I enjoyed that :clap:

Chief 'Broom
11-02-2005, 07:36 AM
i believe the word is perspectives, not perspections |)

or maybe you're thinking about the word perception - dictionaries help

11-02-2005, 07:41 AM
lol i was thinkin that and perceptions at the same time ha

Chief 'Broom
11-02-2005, 07:42 AM
hah, it's all good

11-02-2005, 08:30 AM
the Andersen was the funniest bit, lol

Black Hole
11-02-2005, 10:41 AM
I used to know the real answer to that joke... But then I forgot it.

11-02-2005, 10:48 AM
Was it a dirt road or a street??

11-30-2008, 03:37 AM


11-30-2008, 10:05 AM
this faggot kept talkin bout how he wear earth tones in a worn torn vintage style or some bull shit like that, in other words tryin to justify the fact that he shop at salvation army

Olive Oil Goombah
11-30-2008, 10:13 AM
why are you so angry all the time?

11-30-2008, 10:40 AM
^if you knew intellekt youd get angry aswell

11-30-2008, 10:51 AM
whos angry bitch? :lmao:

Olive Oil Goombah
11-30-2008, 11:35 AM
you are. Either angry or bitter.