View Full Version : The Always Gonna Happen Drunken Stories.............
11-05-2005, 07:40 AM
I Met this girl like 4 years ago. Id talk to her on the phone once in awile. One of my boys at the time was breeding Pitbulls. He asked me to go to his house to watch over the dogs one night. The girl i was talkin to said she loved Piity's and wat not.So i figured id bring her to the house and me her can drink and watever. As u know girls always want to act like true gangsters so i figured i'd pick up a Bottle of Bacardi 151 (75.5%) and see how "Gangsta" she was after a couple of shots. So we get there, dink a couple of drinks and this bitch got straight fucked. My boy gets home around 3 am. So i Figure ill take her to my Car. I bring wat i need ( The Hoe and the liquor) i put on the stereo and we get to our business. I was pretty fucked to and lost memory of the night, but soon woke to the aftermath. When i came to i had this bitch all naked beside me passed out i was stripped too.I look down and i see my dick coverd in shit, and her ass,back and my seats looked like they was hit by a shitstorm.Now thats not even the worst part of it. The reason i woke up was cause some-one was tapping at the window. Yea u guessed it. It as the fuckin 5-0.The stero was still playin and someone called a disturbance and it was about 6 am.(For all those fe-males reading this take it as a warning and no it wasnt rape the bitch cleaned up my car and i hit it one more time before curving it).
11-05-2005, 12:04 PM
Haha you had a poopy dick
poopy dick poopy dick poopy dick
For real though, that story is messed up.
11-05-2005, 12:07 PM
that's some twisted shit..... (no pun intended)
11-05-2005, 01:11 PM
I woke the bitch up to tell her the cops were right outside.Turned down the music. Good thing i have tinted windows (but they can probably still see somewhat inside), they asked me a bunch of bullshit questions and probably smelled the shit but we tried to cover it up, they didnt leave till they saw us go into the apartment. We told them we were locked out of my roomates place and some bullshit. but it was really BitchShit lol.
11-05-2005, 01:15 PM
yea you were shitted on
11-05-2005, 01:24 PM
Hey u guys are forgetting that this is a thread where u post ur experiences to man...come on we've all been shit-face drunk before right? (Even without the shit present)
11-05-2005, 01:43 PM
come on we've all been shit-face drunk before right?
the funky drunk
11-05-2005, 01:46 PM
this is one of those threads which you find funny at first , and then you remember it when your eating dinner
11-05-2005, 02:00 PM
that;s exactly true - you killed it drunkenstrikes, you're a hard act to follow
now please lock the thread immediately and let it dissapear into the archives, thank you very much
11-05-2005, 02:14 PM
Im laughing my fuckin ass off! u know what? ur two posts inspired me to keep it open. I like ur responses. Bon apetitte. Dont worry Gods theres more to come. Now share those twisted stories. Let the Skeletons in the closet take a walk for fresh air. People gotta know. Consider this thread the Drunkenstikes Special Diet Plan= "You'll lose weight guarenteed, cause we all know u cant eat while throwing up!!!" I love all u responses. Mad respect.
yea, i got one...
back in 2000 i was boozin w/ the crew inside a old BMW... i was beginnin to see double shit.. anyway one dude gave me some money and told me to go get some hamburgers from across the street. it was the last money we had. so i got the shit, and while returnin i see 2 fine ass bitchez... so i hit'em with what i call "the 002 either they hit me or fuck me line" ... got tons... so i dropped one of them.. : "who y'all bitchez belong to?"
they replied: "Rendi" (some pimp)
002: "oh yea? ... muthafucka's my cousin, yo.. yo, come on, get in the car, gonna have some fun "
bitch: "he's ya cousin? well... ehheh, ok, i guess you can have some fun for a cheaper price.... but you gotta bring us back here"
002: "yea, whateva.."
so i go back to the fast food joint, return the fuckin hamburgers, hahah and go to some crib to fuck these chicks.
had some fun, then i started drinkin again... forgot all about the ride, and fell asleep, :)
guess who woke me up? ..... the muthafuckin pimp, man... really pissed...
pimp: "you better pay up, son, or we'll gonna have to give you the (forgot the name of that shit) treatment"
002: "sure, man. sorry about that, but i fell asleep. just lemme find my jeans. got some $ in my pockets..."
.... 002: "yo, man, i aint got no fuckin $..."
pimp: "ya dead..."
part 2 tomorrow :)
11-05-2005, 04:32 PM
?? tell me you didn't sleep with a whore.
11-05-2005, 05:43 PM
oo2 the special treatment is called have an aids infested how for free and you dont even know it
drunkenstrikes got the shitty dick cause the bitch ate too much for supper and the anal session gave him the shitty dick
and bitches cant fuck with that 151, not even the windex the 151 with pepsi blue
11-05-2005, 06:10 PM
One time I was at the club and I got a drink ...but I was already sloppy drunk. Anyway, I was drinking it kinda fast, then the ice started melting and the drink was gone so I dropped my cigarette butt in the cup to put it out...then I was talkin to my girl and forgot i did that shit. Then my drunk ass picked the drink back up and swallowed the cigarette butt...yo, that shit got stuck in my wind pipe I was choking shit all over the place...man, that was some, drunk, dumb, embarssing shit.
11-06-2005, 01:53 AM
i got 1.
Man it was like my 16th birthday.Was chillin wit my boyz and my bro knew this fine gurl who was havin a party and she was a slut.
So im like aiight,lets go,we make a trip to the fuking liquor store,buy 2 bottles of Tanqueray.
got there and was drinkin wit this bitch for ages,was hookin up wit her n shit,was bout to get some off this dam hottie,but bein the drunk ass i was,i go outside to grab a beer out of there fridge to get for my homie who was like sitting near the chick(i was drunk as fuck by this stage),i walk inside and go to my mate 'catch' so i lunge the fukin beer bottle pretty hard and i see that muthafucka swirve to the right and smack that bitch straight in the face as she smiling at me,'SMASH'the whole fukin bottle smashed on her face cutting it all up,she was crying and everyones like 'You fucking dickhead'they call ambulance and off she goes.So my chances were long gone,no pussy for me on my 16th!
11-06-2005, 05:50 AM
Thats some funny shit! 002 u forgot to strap a jimmy and now ur ass has the lifetime layway " Pay As U Can Plan" Aids mutherfucker.LMFAO! Yo piffcrack i know wat ur sayin man. That 151 isnt a casual drink, its a get fuckin plasterd drink. But u know when sometimes the bitches will talk like their the next Don Juan with the biggest balls on the block? so anyways i wanted to laugh my ass off at this bitch when i saw her get fucked, but its funny cause her ass got the last laugh on my Dick.Aqueous Moon, I know that shit man. Thats why everytime im out drinking and theres alot of ppl around i always check my drink for butts. Ive seen it happen man. It's like a drive by cigarette butt shooting into ur drink.but for fun, when im fucking fucked ill do the Chow-Yun-Fat shot. U know do ur shot while somking ur cigarette. It give u a good head-rush. Hey yo Jclyricalgenius? u hated that bitch and did that shit on purpose didnt u?haha. Thats some good aiming man.Good stories Godz.
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