View Full Version : Why do Mormons knock my door

11-14-2005, 10:38 AM
Im chillin in my street on Saturday afternoon smoking a fat one when I see these two guys dressed in black, I thought it was the pigs so I ran back to my house only to be confronted by two Amercan guys, asking me about God, will I pray for them and will I ask God about this book and if i did God will tell me its true. These guys wouldnt go away either just firing questions at me while Im high an shit.

All I wanna know is why do these guys go around bothering people?
What do these Mormon folk believe in?

Shemsu Elohim
11-14-2005, 09:17 PM

There's a story about a guy who offered a couple of Mormon missionaries some "special" brownies.

They started freaking out and eventually traced it back to him, and the dude got busted.

Shemsu Elohim
11-14-2005, 09:19 PM
All I wanna know is why do these guys go around bothering people?

To convert them into their beliefs of course.

What do these Mormon folk believe in?

To sum it up, a twisting of Christianity, 'Hermeticism' and Gnosis.

Popa Chief
11-14-2005, 09:32 PM
Mormons are jackasses. They all seem to be Eagle Scouts, they have gay rules, and ya, they bug the hell out of you. They always seem to get the most offended about ppl talkin shit bout their religion. This mormon at my school came in some brownies and got busted big time.Fuck em.

11-14-2005, 11:32 PM
When a Mormon turns 18 or 19 they send him out into the world- the prophet father B. Hinkley and bunch of other old white dudes "meditate" on each boy until god tells B. Hinkley where to send each mormon.

Wether B. Hinkley is a real "transulator" I don't know-

but mormons seem to follow his word like it's straight from God almighty himself.

each mormon boy must go out and complete I think it's somthing like 2 years in the world trying to spread the gospel that was crammed down their throat all their lifes

if you ever see the advertisment on television where they tell you can have a free book, and you call them, they take your adress and send a couple of mormon boys to deliver it and try and convert you-

I learned all this shit from ordering one of those books, in my quest for knowledge in other dogmatic chritianities, and once they started coming over they wouldn't leave

this when I was 19 myself and this white kid was telling me I needed to get babtized or I wasn't going to the same level of heaven where the mormons get to start at

Mormons brainwash their kids to go out and brainwash other people, I invited them into my home to try and build, but instead I found that they couldn't be reasoned with what they have already been taught- they insisted I be babtized and I insisted that they didn't know shit

baby jesus
11-14-2005, 11:35 PM
Hahaha Mormons I Dont Know Any Mormons But I Got Johva Witnesses That Knock On My Door I Just Slam That Shit In There Face Like In Friday When Ice Cube Does That Shit.

Chief 'Broom
11-15-2005, 12:01 AM
Like CS was saying - every Mormon male has to go on a two year mission before they go to college in Utah, if they get accepted. The reason it is always two males coming to your door is becuz the Mormon on his mission must be chaperoned becuz while he is on his mission he is not to be alone with a woman. Mmmmmm

11-15-2005, 06:40 AM
HAHA SHEMSU! We have that same story al the way here in AUSTRALIA.

Mormons believe in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. This book (which contradicts the bible countless times) was discovered by some guy buried on tablets and are accounts of Jesus teaching the natives of the Americas after his ressurection (Hence the subtitle : Another Testament of Jesus Christ).

I found a book on Cults that said Mormonism actually fits the definition.

They have some beliefs I find weird (although they can believe what they want not my business):
1. There's no hell but three levels of heaven
2. All people have to be Baptised; they believe in finding your non-mormon ancestors and performing a baptism in their name so they will be allowed into heaven.
3. God is a man like us. (Don't like this idea at all...)
4. There Church is set up with a prophet (even today) and 12 disciples

They also have temples they get to go in after years and they aren't allowed to tell anyone what goes on in there! They have been storing food and water in these temples for like 20 years coz their prophet said they are going to need it. When the end of the world comes and there's no food or water I am taking my weaponry and robbing the Mormons...

How do I know all this shit?

Try living next door to missionaries :\

Shemsu Elohim
11-15-2005, 07:14 PM
Well try living in Utah. {:(

Home of the Mormons and second highest fag population per capita in the United States of America. :{

Other than that, it's not all that bad. ^O^

Popa Chief
11-15-2005, 09:27 PM
^What has the 1st highest fag rate?California?

11-15-2005, 10:12 PM
My father is mormon believe me it is all I hear about,I cant stand his church!

Shemsu Elohim
11-15-2005, 10:12 PM
^What has the 1st highest fag rate?California?

You kidding?

Which is the most mentioned city in gay jokes?

Shemsu Elohim
11-15-2005, 10:17 PM
Now I see the confusion.

I should have said that SLC has the second highest per capita.

11-15-2005, 10:24 PM
I can't even respect there religion cuz they changes like bitches. When a wealthy mormon bought Starbucks, the mormon church had a "revelation" that it was okay to drink caffiene. they are grade-a bullshit. ^O^

11-16-2005, 08:24 PM
man, who saw the South Park episode about Mormonism? some of the funniest shit ever... "Joseph Smith was a prophet, dum dum dum dum dum", and they kept singing "dum dum dum dum dum"... so it led to another part. When he told his wife about it she said "I dunno that sounds kind of... dum dum dum dum dum"
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