PDA

View Full Version : Slim T's debut: HOW A GOOD GUY BECOME CRIMINAL


Edgar Erebus
03-24-2006, 08:08 AM
Finally I'm on the way to city of dreams,
Goddamn place which name every bitch here screams
Cause in my hood high peeps holla every day
Fuck hood, fuck Europe, America's the way,
So I hit the dirt, walked on the dart
Right to the office where I got that green card
Or maybe tourist visa, I don't remember well,
I just felt like I'm now escaping from hell.
Spent all my money on the ticket for plane
Fuck that, I'll get another, man, I know that I can.
My connection waited me right on the airport
We sit in his car and rolled straight on
To the city of dreams, to the city of cash
Where I thought nobody will ever stop my dash.

First I saw a thing that I really admired
You could get weed anywhere, I wasn't tired
Of searchin' on the street, my friend bought it
And I had to admit it was pretty good shit.
Next day I should start doiní my job
Something like pizza man, I didnít want to rob.
To celebrate this we went to the club,
As I was weeded, I tried to find some cheap hoe love
Looked on the place, remember, I was high,
I saw that cool chick sittiní on the right
Her eyes were blue, her body was tight,
I prepared myself to that kind of fight.
She looked me and smiled, said her name was Gail
Then she pulled cop badge and locked me straight into jail
When I got sober I looked around me,
Then I realized Iíll never be motherfuckiní free
With all that black gangsta faces sittiní there,
Waiting for some change to happen anywhere.

Edgar Erebus
03-24-2006, 08:09 AM
I canít explain how the fuck I got out,
I reminisce searchiní my friend all around,
Then I bought newspaper, remained all shocked,
My friend was another peep killed by a Glock.
Nothing really special, just mob gunfight,
But having mafia connections ainít healthy, right?
Fuck dreams, I felt like I just awoke
After bad dream, but I choked
When I realized that Iíll never run away
Cause I hadnít enough money neither to stay.
First night on the street, I almost froze,
I needed all next morning to melt my toes.
Second night in the park, I thought Iím gonna die,
All the night askiní myself: ďGoddamn, why?Ē
Third night I woldnít survive, now it is time,
For an illegal immigrant to commit his first crime.

I stole a knife from the fast food,
All day preparing myself, I know that I would
Maybe have to kill first victim that I see.
I stole the wallet from the lady that peed
In the park, but she had fucking little money,
Then I robbed another bitch, her name was Honey,
I learnt that from her ID surrounded by cash,
That was my first stealing smash.
First I ate, then I felt fine,
The rest of the money I spent to buy a nine.
Now I know gun dealer was so motherfuckiní dumb,
ĎCause he sold a gun to a person he didnít knew,
Now heís probably dead, but as I said,
Thatís is the way I started to rob for my bread.
Itís a dangerous job, that is all I knew,
but the job got easier when I got my own crew.
Got fake documents, and that was final,
So now you know how some good guy went criminal.

Edgar Erebus
03-24-2006, 11:14 AM
Tell me what you think about this, I seriously wanna brush up my skills.

denaturat
03-24-2006, 04:36 PM
Flows ok, cool story, but the flow is a bit repetative and predictible - sounds kinda old school actually. Try using more metaphors, similies, punchlines and humour. The best part is story, but the form needs work. Did you ever try putting it to the beat? I think there would be some awkward pauses. Keep working at it.