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Raptica
04-01-2006, 01:52 AM
9:|6 Leave Ya Comments Below 9:|6

Raptica
04-01-2006, 02:27 AM
Commemoratin while yall niggas in my face demonstratin,
ya hatin unassure to the enemy u is creatin.

Assesivly, niggas I takin dis shit aggressively,
donno i gat tha tendancy to crack anything you wanna be.

Listenin to my rhymes, ‘hey pen an papa quick’,
jealous of me cause ya rhymes full of chicken shit.
Ya, similar to Jah Rule makin rhymes along wid Murda Inc.,
goin back an forth you ga always suck like NSYNC.

You homo, aint ready to step up in my dojo,.
Slapped ya bitch once now she’s my fukin promo.

Rhymes comin out like tha end of a funnel,
run along little boi no bitch wants any part of your decapitated tunnel.

Rappin at you like there’s no day after 2moro,
my aura alone keeps you spittin in sorrow.

Stickin this message to ya, like an embroidered trophy,
lightin fires in forests and getting warnings from Smokey.

Sirkulayshun
04-01-2006, 03:13 AM
yea man das a solid flo...and das hot 4 a 1st rhyme keep it up

Claustrofobic
04-01-2006, 08:26 AM
nice wordplay duke, I like this shit a lot

SHRAP
04-01-2006, 10:35 AM
shit is aight, i liked the smokey line, but u should try writin in bar format so theres no confusion as to the flow

Raptica
04-01-2006, 02:13 PM
My lyrics internal, spittin dem external,
creatin secret recipies and sellin dem to tha KFC kernel.
Comin at you wid textures unpredictable, my tone is
greater than ya intellectual.
My Lines selectively permeable to a perpendicular membrane,
rappin so tyte that niggas thought i was insane.
Got ya girl a promotion on a calendar, Mrs. April,
she livin large now, owning Walmart and Staples.

VernakuLa
04-02-2006, 02:42 PM
SPOKEN WASU{P MAN hows ur pimpin business

Raptica
04-02-2006, 05:34 PM
ya ya i feel ya
thx for tha comments

Raptica
04-11-2006, 08:38 PM
I rap so hard you cud see sound,
spit it to u once an u hittin tha ground,
heard you mumblein but u cudnt stand 3 more rounds,
not matter tho i don mess wid fally clowns.
Im so fly i try to keep a rhythem,
castin bad lines out o u like an exorcism,
u shud be offended, cause it’s a critasism
my lines so long i cud probly trip you wid em,
das how hard i is, i aint even gatta hit u wid em.

Raptica
04-14-2006, 09:10 AM
Ya lines soo short, they could fit ya pockets,
keep em to yourself, put em in ya locket,
step up to tha plate an ill probly knock it,
try to shock back, im an insulator, ill block it,
usin tupac and otha rappers as inspiraters,
never turned away because of instigators,
my lines go deep causin major craters,
ill finish u off now so i aint gatta hit u later.
Lines are even, standin 90 degrees, hitin you
over and over relentlessly, physically,
dey causing emotional abuse, perpendicular to a right angle,
dey soo dam acute.




to be contin...

Raptica
04-16-2006, 07:41 PM
wa do u guys think? }:|

Killer Falcon
04-17-2006, 03:50 AM
its alright. with more practise i think your lyricism will become more consistent, some lines are based on decent ideas but others seem to be writte for the sake of it. they are freestyles tho so thats probably a bit harsh. your flow is ok as well, will become sharper with time. keep it up

peace

Raptica
05-12-2006, 12:37 AM
ya i feel ya thnx

Raptica
06-06-2006, 02:19 PM
My jurisdiction on a mission, have punk niggas pissin,
dey wishin; takin tha mic from u, i Christen,
teachin u tha way so now listen;
you will never be tha one to combat me,
u is a test dummy for bruce and jet li,
ill hit u over wid my lines relentlessly,
over and over and u still cant touch me,
im fluent as water but opaque like dirt,
ya lines will make opponents blush and flurt;
u is an amature, no ya even worse,
ill let you go first and i still put ya lines in a herse;
End it with 40 lashes, leave gashes, juice ya girl and raid ya dam stashes.

Iron Mantis
06-07-2006, 06:06 PM
I'd put some more thought into your rhymes and actually sound them out to see if they flow because most of them don't..also try to be more original, you keep biting lines from hellbound...

Raptica
06-12-2006, 11:31 PM
hmmm
so far ur the only one who thinks so but anyway i appreciate the critique

Raptica
07-11-2006, 02:55 AM
Absent from tha scene for weeks to weeks,
back dropin like im a Freak to Leak.
Cutin postision from where you were hidin,
claimin da seat to where u were residin,
Chalenge me, im like a lion fightin,
Talkin out my head, no paper pen, no writiin,
Amateurs readin this, find this excitin,
hit me, ill snap back, even faster than lightenin.
Didnt lose my touch, my nerves are still kickin,
peps com bak for more cause der finga lickin,
spotin you on da scene is kinda sicknin,
a radio-active peice who is too fuked to listen.

jallainINS
07-11-2006, 05:01 PM
not bad not bad. probably ur best one yet. had a nice flow, but u should take spoken's advice, use some multies. your like the third or fourth person ive told this to in two days, but its true man, multies take verses to the next level. check out my verse, its kinda stupid but it will give u a good example of multies, the last four lines especially. drop some feed over there too.

keep writin

Raptica
09-20-2006, 02:25 AM
thnx man i appreciate the comment