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Killer Falcon
04-15-2006, 06:30 PM
whats good, havent posted on here for a while. i'd be interested in feedback on this song i've written, will be coming in audio soon. it's called 'losing focus'

thought sincere clear a crystal tear drops
hits a canvas conflicts a mystic fear lost
the force of will was evicted from my prism
now the minds locked inside these rhythms
been a while since words string like violins
put together spread petals like a hyacinth
recently some wonder why i'm rarely seen
condemn myself to dreary pits of self pity
dark closure life is over falcons in a coma
now he rose radiates flows in supernovas
cry of thunder wake from tides of slumber
his rise was followed by a blinding hunger
seems a waste life is like a steeple chase
most times i find it hard to keep the pace
rainy days spark a thought i use for kindle
then think back to when it all was simple

silent marshland i lose sight in focal mist
sank then emerge ragged from the foliage
a shattered poet writes emotive scripts
on the paper paints a shade of loneliness
i had to face the consequence eventually
dependency tears the seams of memories
sane decreases my shackles chain a dream
breath of grace back the lyrics came to me
eternal flows release what i love the most
to all the listeners beware a tundras close
clear my head heres some new inventions
to my lyrics ears fall victim to my essence
when i fell learnt to cherish what was real
now i've come full circle like a ferris wheel
in the haze still stands a single question
will i ever dare to stare in my reflection


peace

Killer Falcon
04-17-2006, 03:06 AM
thanks spoken.....

peace

Shitao
04-17-2006, 05:16 AM
Hmmmm very hot Winte very hot...
Keep it up.
PEACE

Killer Falcon
04-18-2006, 05:39 PM
thanks shitao. upping

peace

crass
04-18-2006, 06:30 PM
yo falcon, i still have that track you did over the Last Days beat. good work this time around, too!

Killer Falcon
04-19-2006, 06:31 PM
thanks for the feedback.....

here is another piece called 'artery'. please give me some opinions.


within inner pillars meld appearance
envisiage self at the helm of spirits
lone wolf in a hollow glaze of twilight
cold strife stains a tainted eyesight
with courage leap across these vines
other side trees hide cerebral turbines
snakes lock me in line up to barricade
found i need to take a silent pathway
walk barefoot along this road of thorns
stop short before these closing storms
miles gone beg for hope i drop a pylon
no support i lack the will to stride on
i'm reawakened lost inside a labyrinth
no escape get pierced by liquid javelins
frozen moments when my heart beats
scatter shards until my soul departs me


peace

BlaK FuRYaN
04-19-2006, 07:31 PM
whats good, havent posted on here for a while. i'd be interested in feedback on this song i've written, will be coming in audio soon. it's called 'losing focus'

thought sincere clear a crystal tear drops
hits a canvas conflicts a mystic fear lost
the force of will was evicted from my prism
now the minds locked inside these rhythms
been a while since words string like violins
put together spread petals like a hyacinth
recently some wonder why i'm rarely seen
condemn myself to dreary pits of self pity
dark closure life is over falcons in a coma
now he rose radiates flows in supernovas
cry of thunder wake from tides of slumber
his rise was followed by a blinding hunger
seems a waste life is like a steeple chase
most times i find it hard to keep the pace
rainy days spark a thought i use for kindle
then think back to when it all was simple

silent marshland i lose sight in focal mist
sank then emerge ragged from the foliage
a shattered poet writes emotive scripts
on the paper paints a shade of loneliness
i had to face the consequence eventually
dependency tears the seams of memories
sane decreases my shackles chain a dream
breath of grace back the lyrics came to me
eternal flows release what i love the most
to all the listeners beware a tundras close
clear my head heres some new inventions
to my lyrics ears fall victim to my essence
when i fell learnt to cherish what was real
now i've come full circle like a ferris wheel
in the haze still stands a single question
will i ever dare to stare in my reflection


peace

THIS ONE SOUNDS VERY POETICAL, DECENT STILL....

PEACE

Shitao
04-20-2006, 05:04 AM
I very like this:

i'm reawakened lost inside a labyrinth
no escape get pierced by liquid javelins
frozen moments when my heart beats
scatter shards until my soul departs me

Racailla
04-20-2006, 09:36 AM
The whole verse is a masterpiece
Incredible imaginery

Much love

Racailla

Killer Falcon
04-21-2006, 05:01 PM
thanks for the feedback. heres a verse titled 'peaceful light'. comments are appreciated.


tore locks that bore pandoras box
clawed soft left a scar on warlocks
fed beats to serve as my provisions
next line then skydives to existence
quill spreads until this page ignites
then morphs into a hoard of fireflies
exception dance of fire in his eyes
rest clones live in a blind disguise
dark cells can barely see themselves
keep true cuz i dig deep in the wells
have a bucket clutching down in vain
handle breaks free beneath the strain
a final whisp glows quiet in the mist
i think will time be tangled in my bliss
this serenade a beacon in the night
stand back behold my peaceful light


peace

Shitao
04-22-2006, 09:59 AM
Once again it sounds very nice.
PEACE

Killer Falcon
04-22-2006, 07:20 PM
thanks. upping

andrem
04-23-2006, 09:43 PM
yo im really felin these last two posts. your style is very poetic and symbolic. keep postin the illness.

hazidus hitman
04-23-2006, 10:07 PM
phat as bro. very poetic yet got the hip hop styles in there.
keep the flows coming man

noel411
04-24-2006, 02:11 AM
Nice shit Winte. Your pieces are always well structured and calculated. Good to see some of your work again.

Killer Falcon
04-30-2006, 05:24 PM
thanks for all feedback. here is another verse i've written


i fling darts hidden in the high grass
a quick flash fast i split your eyelash
hit precise my aim in boundless sight
at high speed propel my crown of ice
no longer adapted to their habitats
my calabash made into a battle axe
i scorch pads with mapped equations
mad shaman flips and cast abrasions
for falcon style grip staffs of bamboo
last survivors hop back like kangaroos
focus chi to strike those opposing me
roast them up like a bag of groceries
i launch off my verbal strong elastics
catapult my form on to other planets
spit rage once i harness two katanas
raise tombs the size of tutankhamens


peace

Killer Falcon
05-04-2006, 03:06 AM
can anyone give me some feedback?

Sirkulayshun
05-04-2006, 04:53 PM
yea its hot.good structure..i like the vocab..."no longer adapted to their habitats
my calabash made into a battle axe"...liked that line...overall i giv it a 9 outta 10
keep it up
check my thread sumtime

Shitao
05-05-2006, 03:11 AM
You last post sounds very nice man. Cant wait to listen that on a beat.

Killer Falcon
05-07-2006, 03:48 PM
thanks for the feedback. i've got something special lined up for that last verse :). expect to hear some new tracks soon.

peace

Luther Large
05-07-2006, 04:56 PM
i didnt read them that thoroughly but from what i see you pretty good i'll try and give sum real feed sumtime when i can just sit down and read'em thru

peace

Killer Falcon
05-10-2006, 09:58 AM
thanks. upping

Killer Falcon
05-11-2006, 03:52 PM
heres another verse.... i'd be interested to hear your opinions

leap from quiet shrouds of mystery
drop in embark upon a killing spree
blind them with verbal pyrotechnics
emcees dash cant find the fire exits
in the aftermath no need of first aid
so heavy each steps an earthquake
raw sounds a lyric travels through it
left useless i blew out the acoustics
mad hot breath can melt an iron mic
exhale bars take a gasp of cyanide
half their rhymes are second hand
spurting crap like faulty septic tanks
hit with a ruler just to set it straight
truth is your not even featherweight
left delicate fulfill a last imperative
final blow knocks out like a sedative


peace

Ghost In The 'Lac
05-11-2006, 04:11 PM
whats good, havent posted on here for a while. i'd be interested in feedback on this song i've written, will be coming in audio soon. it's called 'losing focus'

thought sincere clear a crystal tear drops
hits a canvas conflicts a mystic fear lost
the force of will was evicted from my prism
now the minds locked inside these rhythms
been a while since words string like violins
put together spread petals like a hyacinth
recently some wonder why i'm rarely seen
condemn myself to dreary pits of self pity
dark closure life is over falcons in a coma
now he rose radiates flows in supernovas
cry of thunder wake from tides of slumber
his rise was followed by a blinding hunger
seems a waste life is like a steeple chase
most times i find it hard to keep the pace
rainy days spark a thought i use for kindle
then think back to when it all was simple

silent marshland i lose sight in focal mist
sank then emerge ragged from the foliage
a shattered poet writes emotive scripts
on the paper paints a shade of loneliness
i had to face the consequence eventually
dependency tears the seams of memories
sane decreases my shackles chain a dream
breath of grace back the lyrics came to me
eternal flows release what i love the most
to all the listeners beware a tundras close
clear my head heres some new inventions
to my lyrics ears fall victim to my essence
when i fell learnt to cherish what was real
now i've come full circle like a ferris wheel
in the haze still stands a single question
will i ever dare to stare in my reflection


peace

what are you talking about? sounds like coffe shop poetry. if thats the type of shit you into then thats good for you though. just seems light and feminine. did you right that to a beat or just get off on some poetry shit? Because those lines wouldnt fit onto a 4/4 bar.

But if you can fit that over a beat than credit to you, but it reads like a poem, not a rap (there is a difference b4 headz come and slaughter).

Killer Falcon
05-11-2006, 04:28 PM
what are you talking about? sounds like coffe shop poetry. if thats the type of shit you into then thats good for you though. just seems light and feminine. did you right that to a beat or just get off on some poetry shit? Because those lines wouldnt fit onto a 4/4 bar.

But if you can fit that over a beat than credit to you, but it reads like a poem, not a rap (there is a difference b4 headz come and slaughter).
lol. yeah i did write it to a beat, i've actually recorded the song and it fits absolutely fine.....

peace

Ghost In The 'Lac
05-11-2006, 04:36 PM
cool, props

Killer Falcon
05-13-2006, 02:35 AM
anyone?

Jay_Cross [7th sun]
05-14-2006, 03:07 AM
I thought that It was a poem too! LOL But the latest shit wasn't bad - just the conception - I know It perfectly ;) It's not a standart poem - hybrid between rap and poem or etc. But If It really fits to that beat - cool. Some words were really good: "a shattered poet writes emotive scripts
on the paper paints a shade of loneliness"

So! Keep up - sometimes I write something like that ;) lol

Definitive X
05-14-2006, 12:20 PM
Killer Falcon's talons once again tearing at'cha fabrics...COLD! Keep it comin', winte!

the funky drunk
05-14-2006, 02:35 PM
yeah some Ill shir here for real .. feelin almost every drop

flow is always precise and on point

props , keep em comin

Killer Falcon
05-19-2006, 04:00 PM
thanks for the feedback everyone. i'll return it when i get a minute

peace

Father N Dangerous
05-27-2006, 06:32 AM
thanks for the feedback. heres a verse titled 'peaceful light'. comments are appreciated.


tore locks that bore pandoras box
clawed soft left a scar on warlocks
fed beats to serve as my provisions
next line then skydives to existence
quill spreads until this page ignites
then morphs into a hoard of fireflies
exception dance of fire in his eyes
rest clones live in a blind disguise
dark cells can barely see themselves
keep true cuz i dig deep in the wells
have a bucket clutching down in vain
handle breaks free beneath the strain
a final whisp glows quiet in the mist
i think will time be tangled in my bliss
this serenade a beacon in the night
stand back behold my peaceful light


word i just picked one randomly and i gotta say im impressed, most of the whole verse was quoted, you real good i will admit that. i love u vocab keep doing you homie. stay up n keep blessin

Killer Falcon
05-30-2006, 06:27 PM
this is called 'waking hour'

instinctely rip till i can spit without a flaw
scripting rhymes combine them like a jigsaw
put under pressure more than aerosols
then my tongue propels a ton of cannonballs
i persevered crafted rhymes with vividness
drew mindscapes just so you can picture this
emcees these days lack a sense of realness
made of perspex i can just see how clear it is
found that i could write these scripts innately
ride the beat while my inner soul escapes me
too many copies incompetant and lazy
most that shit should end up in a waste heap
emcees just like dust upon a mantlepiece
falcons feather slash and cause catastrophe
face the challenge land somewhere in a valley
observe my backup that absails from apaches
one day realised i'm not the one to spar with
a starved lion i can rip your style apart quick
take another line and aim at different targets
cuz we're not equal like a backwards marxist
off the richter when it comes time i deliver
massive blisters after silent burns have risen
feather pens nib is made from stainless silver
just as i select another arrow from my quiver
release a thousand storms of flame showers
then drop flailing bars laced with gunpowder
disperse clouds of immense and raging power
as a prelude mark the falcons waking hour
rappers hide cuz to fight a mental cyclone
is tough like blindfold walking on a tightrope
most cant understand how this mind flows
cuz your style is undeveloped like a zygote
full eclipse when i emerge the river phoenix
scorch of fury burn all the parasitic leeches
way i shapeshift leaves them all speechless
rare versatiliy confused my fellow creatures
forty bars fuse production in the mesh
the whole beat no time off to get a breath
make the base where a couple hundred step
demolish verses look now theres nothing left

i'm recording this one soon....

peace

Sirkulayshun
05-30-2006, 11:11 PM
D
O
P
E
!
that verse was amazing.....dope structure...mad vocab....perfect flo..everything...practically flawless!!

i persevered crafted rhymes with vividness
drew mindscapes just so you can picture this

take another line and aim at different targets
cuz we're not equal like a backwards marxist

really liked those lines
keep it up:thumbup:
peace

Killer Falcon
06-01-2006, 04:13 AM
thanks man

hazidus hitman
06-01-2006, 05:35 AM
i persevered crafted rhymes with vividness
drew mindscapes just so you can picture this
emcees these days lack a sense of realness
made of perspex i can just see how clear it is



take another line and aim at different targets
cuz we're not equal like a backwards marxist

peace

dude!! that whole verse is phat as!
definately record some shit. those quoted were my fav
keep at the pen brutha!
PEACE

Killer Falcon
06-06-2006, 03:58 PM
thanks man. i recorded 'waking hour', check it out on myspace, link is in my sig. would be interested to hear opinions.

peace

andrem
06-06-2006, 10:47 PM
yo 'waking hour' sounds mad ill recorded. you have a very unique style and flow. keep doin what ya doin bro. one.

Killer Falcon
06-08-2006, 02:45 PM
yo 'waking hour' sounds mad ill recorded. you have a very unique style and flow. keep doin what ya doin bro. one.
your opinion is appreciated

peace

Alesco
06-08-2006, 03:45 PM
I am listening to it write now bruv.
Thats real good stuff man. Its got a good feel to it.

My mind went straight to india with it (the music)

Keep it going english brother

Killer Falcon
08-25-2006, 03:31 PM
p

Killer Falcon
11-20-2006, 03:00 AM
here is the first verse i've written in about 5 or 6 months, would appreciate opinions....

knock off balance charge ragged phalanx
beneath this cloak storms of silver talons
spirit ripping gashes fabrics of the planets
past solar systems in each and every axis
twice as hot as coal the molten soulblade
with enough precision split up snowflakes
shatter bones break without a single stain
try steal my verse find ya throat in flames
murk emcees but still they act impervious
their full of shit like thanksgiving turkey is
they fiend our fluent skill as smooth as silk
choose to battle us and be reduced to silt
be stabbed with quills if they dare defy us
my crushing nib of iron left them spineless
tracks turn gold i hold the touch of midas
cerebral force douse flame like firefighters

noel411
11-20-2006, 04:29 AM
Nice verse Winte. You do the non-concept rhymes really well. Very precise structure, even flow and rhythm. Good use of language. Only problem is that while it's a solid verse, there's nothing in it that really captures my attention. But yeah, a nice little verse no doubt.

Oh yeah, I clicked the link in your sig too. The song that was playing was fucken nice. Keep up the good work.

J.T.S.
11-20-2006, 10:20 AM
Winte my bad for sleeping on ya darts theyr'e all ill!!

Killer Falcon
11-22-2006, 03:41 AM
thanks for the feedback

ArcherPriest
11-22-2006, 03:47 AM
yea homie... shits on point.... structured mad well... I like the short lines too... nothin' comes off forced.... I'll get at you with that collab here soon... i been workin on all kinds of other shit right now too..