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SurreaL
07-01-2005, 07:18 AM
This is a new joint im working on, recording will be done very soon, beat goes perfect, this will be a gem I hope, but I thought I would Like to share this with you, peace

I give you my life, you can document it and press it,
I confess it, to this day, please god, watch over and bless it
My wrong's, my right's, you gotta respect it
this is me, trial and tribulation, this how I reflect it
for real, ya'll should know by now how I feel
I miss my life, someday's just pass freedom by my face
so I embrace it, tie up my chuck's, take the world head on,
just so I can taste it,
my memory, erase it, so I can live and replace it,
I asked god the situation, but the answer was basic,
like, I love life, put family and friends, before task,
spite all my sin, I just have a couple of question's to ask,
will I make it, can I see my son accell?
or will I die out, and be watching his story in hell.
I want all my dream's that I couldn't embrace,
not burdend on his fate, if you can hear me god, then you can relate.
I want only the best for my family, when It's time to go,
my task's cannot accept no, it's either die or flow,
this is real, this is my lyrical high, no dope,
no cutter, or no smoke
just plain train of thought, just how it was wrote,
I stay a step ahead of myself, the early worm get's the save
the point is to keep my head up, instead of under a grave,
if you can feel me,
listen deeply, can you hear it?
I can't, but please don't fear it.
I was born out of pain,
a outcast, born out of shame,
who's to blame?
all finger's point to self.
I bleed this,
selling my soul is greed just for the wealth.
The devil's advocite play's it's part,
can you taste it?
Im not just living day to day, just to waste it.
every day is death inside,
a struggle, a strife,
no wrong's, no right's,
just living hell,
it's called life,
ever since you left I've felt a bit out of place,
A empty space, no one can replace.
how long will it be untill I say goodbye?
I've been waiting here 4 year's to say goodbye,
life is a constant struggle,
a pull of the trigger is a easy way out,
I can live another day without a reasonable doubt.
uh, but I walk with a shadow,
and the shadow only know's where I been.
if you've been listenin'
I was born out of sin,
fighting a fight, I know I never can win.

GuardianOne
07-01-2005, 08:14 AM
Its quite sentimental, and soulful. It a nice piece of artistry. And you flowed well expressing what is on the work. Nice verse, hope it reaches out to many, cause there seem to be few who can put that into words (without pride).

Peace
PS: Wish you the best in your recordings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SurreaL
07-01-2005, 08:39 AM
wow, thank's man, really mean's alot, peace.

PsYkOsUs
07-02-2005, 12:56 AM
the beginnin' was hot, good structure and whatnot... but then it tapered off, and i got bored due to it's basic same ol', same ol' life-story simplicity... everybody's got a struggle, but you gotta add a little somethin' extra special to a verse like this, in order to make it stand out... you gotta prove to the listener/reader, that yours is more important than anyone elses... otherwise, why would i care enough to listen? feel me? keep at it...

PEACE

PSY

SurreaL
07-02-2005, 11:31 AM
yeah man I hear you, but to be honest, when I write, it's all off the top of my head, I don't sit and focus on line's for a long time, I make music man, I make it for myself, alot of shit get's off my chest, and at the end of the song, if I feel good about it, then I suceeded, I don't really really focus on making it sound good for other people, well, basicly what I mean is man, I don't change the word's for other people's enjoyment, no disrespect or anything man, it's just how I'am, I make music, for the love of making music, I don't know if im making sense with this, but it's just how I'am man, but hey, thank's for peepin it, and for the feedback and tip's, really man, peace.

Knok-A-Fella
07-02-2005, 12:17 PM
hot verse hope recordin goes all good

all good for the future

stay straight homie

Bless, 1

SurreaL
07-02-2005, 01:12 PM
Thank's Knok-A-Fella, peace to you all that checked it out.

SurreaL
07-02-2005, 01:47 PM
Im doing it over ToneDeff's - Overture, very ghostly beat, and no dout, I will, peace Spoken

SurreaL
07-02-2005, 02:00 PM
alright gimme a min, i'll PM you.