View Full Version : I'm a rookie at this, but tell me what you think

07-01-2005, 03:42 PM
I be the doc in the worst warzone like in MASH
operate lyrics so well I could gut off one eyelash
fuck those who ain't nothin but they stash
how many fingers?! yeah my middlefinger's what I flash
y'all go get ya confidence by sniffin and puffin them white lines and hash
dash off ya line
time is money and money is cash
fast life but ya mind and body will clash
it won't last long
but I'ma continue to go on
medicine for ya sickness is born
on the side the sun rise at dawn
from outta flower there came a thorn
with deadly poison to kill those who hold it wrong
or cut ya arm open when u walk by
my aka Hawkeye
known as the man with sharp knifes that talk fly

the messiah
07-01-2005, 04:40 PM
its pretty ill, elevate and ur words will be a threat for sho,


07-02-2005, 01:26 AM
you have a long way to go... it was simple and borin' at best... honest opinion from a certified asshole... but if you feel you got talent, you won't let someone like me get to you, and maybe you'll elevate... just do it quick, 'cause there's a lot of 14 and 15 year olds that would violently rape you...



07-02-2005, 06:43 AM
You have a decent style, simple but you can improve on you lyrical content. Good rhyme work singular but still flowed. Work on what you want to portray, i suppose you were busting??

PS: Continue posting

07-05-2005, 01:50 PM
thanx for the feed back.