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View Full Version : The offical, "how to get the most for your buck in the strip club" thread


Jesus Christ
05-15-2006, 03:02 AM
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Here it is fellas, time to save those hard earned bucks and still get your nut off and make a stripper work for her diaper money. If your stripper is good enuff, i'm gonna teach how to get your nut off with less then 50 bucks. Feel free to add on any advice, suggestions, or just plain ol' strip club etticit.( you know what i mean.)

1. Where the thinnist pair of jeans, sweats, tearaways, clothes you own. NO UNDERWARE.

2. get change before hand! You hand a bitch a 20 for a drink, and you'll never see your change. They'll dip out to the changing room quicker then you can say "Allah Penut butter and jelley sandwhiches." Perferebley bring at the very least 40 bucks in ones.

3. Don't tip the waitresses. I don't care if she's walking around in spider-man underware, don't do it. She don't care about you, so you don't care about that bitch. The only reason she ain't strippin herself is because her boyfriends a bouncer.

4. If your trying to get your nut off, don't show up drunk. Don't drink while your there. Getting drunk will just numb you up, and make you spend more that bitch will be hopping up and down on your lap all night and you'll leave broke and hard up.

5. Sit near the stage, wear the stripper exit after their perfomance. Don't sit stage side, you'll be prone to giving up bucks when you don't want too.

6. Put your nicest white shirt on, the one that cost you 50 bucks and the gap or wherever the fuck you shop. The white shirt will glow in the black lights and make you stick out to the bitches.

ok just some tips to live by now peep the set up............

After watching a few bitches on stage, wait till you see one that's nasty, hungry for money quick. For example- if she's rubbing her face on everymans crotch stage side, then she's a keeper. Tip her a few extra bucks, at least two bucks, and mention that you want see her off the stage. She'll come to you first since your by the stripper exit. This where you need lay out some charm. Strippers sniff out money, and if there's plenty of money floating around, and if she sensing your not gonna spend, she'll go looking for the real ballers like me, or her regulars like your dad. Start with a table dance, this will run you 5-7 dollars. This where you gotta bite the bullet and throw down 10 for her stanken ass. She'll see that your serious and invite you into the VIP couch. At this time, if your game is up on talking to bitches you can save some serious bucks and get your nut off. Get three lap dances from her, then mention to her, how about you give me 6 for the price of four.

Ok let me break this down for you now.

3 dollars for the first drink to get in.

2 bucks for the choice stripper to come off stage.

10 bucks for the table dance.

30 bucks for the first three lap dances.

add it up that's 45 bucks, you got five bucks left- but she don't know that- pay her up to this point, if your charm was heavy, and you wore the white t-shirt, she'll go for it. Grab on to something and let that bitch ride horsey.

It's important to note when she's dry humping you, don't try and push back, she'll back off and tease you just so you'll throw more money down.

With a little luck, and little charm, you should get your nut off by the last dance, now this where your five bucks comes in hand. Hand her 4 bucks, and while the dumfounded stripper is looking at the cash GET UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE! She'll think she's holding tens at first, and this'll give you a few seconds to get past the bouncers. If you timed it right the bus should just be arriving, throw your last buck into the slot and slide out of their slippy style!

Have fun and happy dry humping!

crass
05-16-2006, 02:10 PM
that sounds like prostitution without any actual sex. therefore it is the lamest --- but excellently constructed --- advice i've ever read !

Its Big Lu baby
05-16-2006, 02:55 PM
whait a second ... so youve actually busted a nut from dry humping?
haha
hahahahah

INF
05-16-2006, 03:04 PM
whait a second ... so youve actually busted a nut from dry humping?
haha
hahahahah


ROFLMAO! One tha real tho Slip, this is your best work minus tha nuttin part. That is weak god. Good read tho. I had my wife read this one this morning it was so funny. Picturin ur ass runnin out an hittin tha bus. omg.
Fuck is Tek at? LOL.


One.

Inspectah_Dirk
05-16-2006, 03:18 PM
This sounds like a walkthrough for a game or some shit.
I don't do the dry hump thing...i'll just go out to a bar, spend 20 bucks on a bitch, and have sex the same night.

stak84
05-16-2006, 03:19 PM
slippy=sicka

post was funny as hail though

GENERAL WISE
05-16-2006, 04:49 PM
damn too much writing som1 summarize for me

brown_dogg
05-16-2006, 05:36 PM
^^ hahah just read it. it's worth it.

Prolifical ENG
05-16-2006, 05:41 PM
hahaha never seen this earlier today

oh yeah slippy is not really sicka

JASPER
05-16-2006, 05:48 PM
My friend says the cocktail waitresses are the easiest.

TeknicelStylez
05-16-2006, 07:04 PM
http://newremedies.com/ssi/jpegs/sperms.jpg

Greek Gheynician Anal Tradition
05-16-2006, 07:07 PM
This thread is the shit ;)

Jesus Christ
05-16-2006, 11:33 PM
whait a second ... so youve actually busted a nut from dry humping?
haha
hahahahah

You gotta crawl before you pimp walk.

i originally walked into the strip club just to have a good time. Then I started thinking "how can I get this bitch to do more for less?" Then once I figured out that I started thinking, "how can I get this bitch to give me money?" Then once I figured that part out I started thinking "how can I get her to get my friends money, and put that in my pocket." Now i'm just thinking "starting at the small end, I wonder how far a 40oz. bottle will go into her pussy before it breaks?"

crass
05-17-2006, 12:40 AM
http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c108/breeheartssam/bj.jpg

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 12:41 AM
I never crawled when I was baby but not long.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 12:46 AM
Some people crawl their whole life, sad.

Jesus Christ
05-17-2006, 02:56 AM
Some people crawl their whole life, sad.

that is sad, we'll get you a wheel chair so you can roll around the bus station and offer blow jobs for a buck.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 02:59 AM
Come with a wheelchair, then I put you in it.

http://www.snakegetters.com/pics/green-snake.jpg

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:15 AM
Hahaha.

Its Big Lu baby
05-17-2006, 03:19 AM
godess u are fucking retarted
like im thinkin ur at a mental institution and manage to sneak into the computer rooms at night
because the shit u say is fucking retarted... and to reply to my post ur probably gonna say something fuckin retarted... watch

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:21 AM
Stop calling me names there is nothing wrong with me. Good we're not married adios.

Its Big Lu baby
05-17-2006, 03:23 AM
Good we're not married adios.
point proven
...
RETARD

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:23 AM
Retaaaard in the mirror PUTO.

Its Big Lu baby
05-17-2006, 03:24 AM
Retaaaard in the mirror PUTO.
again...
retard

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:25 AM
You want this you just ask for this. Go play with your dolls.

Its Big Lu baby
05-17-2006, 03:26 AM
You want this you just ask for this. Go play with your dolls.
again... retard

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:28 AM
More attention are you happy now? :clap:

Its Big Lu baby
05-17-2006, 03:29 AM
More attention are you happy now? :clap:
again...
and again..
.
ur a retard

crass
05-17-2006, 03:53 AM
Come with a wheelchair, then I put you in it.

http://www.snakegetters.com/pics/green-snake.jpg


hahahah. oh man.

Its Big Lu baby
05-17-2006, 04:02 AM
hahahah. oh man.
hahahaha
yo
u gota give me props i think im the only one that has ever goten goddess to shut the fuck up

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 11:23 AM
Retard jokes.

TUCO
05-17-2006, 12:04 PM
leave her/it alone!!!

*thread sucks*

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 12:11 PM
Leave it alone si, I like to be alone.

crass
05-17-2006, 12:28 PM
goddess do you ever feel overwhelmed by all the machismo?

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 01:17 PM
No save it if it's negative.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 01:19 PM
I don't need positive either.. Save it.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 01:23 PM
More threads suckkkkkkkkkkkk

INF
05-17-2006, 01:24 PM
I don't need positive either.. Save it.


Correction- save urself. Remember, there are no such things as halfway crooks.:picture:

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 01:27 PM
I don't need noone I can do everything by myself... Handy. :yes:

INF
05-17-2006, 01:28 PM
I don't need noone I can do everything by myself... Handy. :yes:


got tha handy part right.:loser:

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 01:29 PM
http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/images/smilies/loser.gif

INF
05-17-2006, 01:35 PM
:loser:


Lmao @ you. Thats on some "I know you are but what am I" shit. Just goes to show that you are prolly between the ages of 11 to 17, SMH. You give underage gods up in here a bad name.



None.:king:

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 01:37 PM
LOL you go crazy of that.

INF
05-17-2006, 01:40 PM
LOL you go crazy of that.


LOL @ you for thinking that you drive me anywhere. :vroar:

Your shit don't work on me.


None.:king:

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 01:41 PM
Is cool, you win. Only for this time then.

Inspectah_Dirk
05-17-2006, 01:41 PM
i don't even know what to say to her anymore..

it's over.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 01:47 PM
There never was anything sweetie Dirk. I don't know you.

INF
05-17-2006, 01:48 PM
Is cool, you win. Only for this time then.


I win against ignorance ALWAYS. I shut you up yesterday when I had you say that you suck and I'll shut you down again an again. Say tho kid, if you was ever an entity in my physical vacinity, and you was commin w/ tha bullshit that you do, I'd be shuttin you down to the point to where you stay inside from there on.....oh yeah I forgot- your punkass dont EVER leave the house so I wouldnt ever have to worry bout doin you like that.

I got you in here though. You might as well leave, flea.


One.:king:

Inspectah_Dirk
05-17-2006, 01:49 PM
Didn't mean it like that "sweetie"

"Je hele stijl is poentje"

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 01:51 PM
Blabla 4 pages You can't shut me up you are allowed to talk/type 2
I have the same rights as you.

INF
05-17-2006, 01:53 PM
Blabla 4 pages You can't shut me up you are allowed to talk/type 2
I have the same rights as you.

Yes, but you violate. I dispise your raping and killing. I'm...going to chop off your arm..... are you ready?


Nada.:picture:

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 01:53 PM
Fuck You

TUCO
05-17-2006, 01:54 PM
Goddess is needed for a consistent and successful thread
admit it

INF
05-17-2006, 01:54 PM
Fuck You


No thank you. I like to stay healthy and hetero.


None.:king:

INF
05-17-2006, 01:55 PM
Goddess is needed for a consistent and successful thread
admit it


Forget that flea. We got enough without him.


One.:king:

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 01:56 PM
TUCO Let's kill everybody.

TUCO
05-17-2006, 01:58 PM
hol on im listenin to "wildflower"

INF
05-17-2006, 02:01 PM
TUCO Let's kill everybody.


I dont die. I hope that everybody is your true name though. And leave TUCO out of your greed.


None.:picture:

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 02:01 PM
:cheerlie:

Inspectah_Dirk
05-17-2006, 02:04 PM
Kom maar lullen met je bek mijn vuist heeft geen gevoel
Dus wat de fock wil je doen? Ik smack je smoel.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 02:06 PM
Kom mijn smoel smacken idioot.. Ik heb niks gedaan.

TUCO
05-17-2006, 02:09 PM
yea....i love you too

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 02:20 PM
Gestapo.

Inspectah_Dirk
05-17-2006, 02:23 PM
Aufmachen bitte.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 02:24 PM
Ich mach niks aufen sweinhund.

Inspectah_Dirk
05-17-2006, 02:26 PM
Hahahahaha. Damn meid, daar moest ik echt ff om lachen :D Great stuff.
Je wist wel waar t op sloeg? Dat "aufmachen bitte"?
Mja, ik ga de kroeg in..ben t ff zat hier.

Ciao.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 02:28 PM
Je moet iets doen.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 02:30 PM
Ja tochhhh Ik ga ook.

TUCO
05-17-2006, 02:32 PM
my penis?

INF
05-17-2006, 02:38 PM
my penis?


Naw , he said he's leaving. If you look up a free translator then you can see exactly what they were talking about.


One.:spin:

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 02:39 PM
I'm not a he I'm a she deaf dumb & blind.

INF
05-17-2006, 02:45 PM
I'm not a he I'm a she deaf dumb & blind.


Whatever, schizo.You aint no Tommy. Mixing languages is not an option for you though. I am infinite with my ways. Took me half a minute to get that shit figured and split up.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 02:47 PM
Game is schizo..

INF
05-17-2006, 02:48 PM
Game is schizo..


Then quit playing it and take it somewhere else.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 02:51 PM
http://www.extensionrecords.com/Music%20Files/TheGame-Higher.mp3

TeknicelStylez
05-17-2006, 02:53 PM
I still wanna know how the fuck someone gets their nut off from dry humping...

INF
05-17-2006, 03:05 PM
http://www.extensionrecords.com/Music%20Files/TheGame-Higher.mp3


Like I'm interested in having my PC shut down ur virus. No need to justify urself w/ a track. I know the game has problems, talkin bout how he wouldnt fuck mariah cuz she got a 4 head like tyra.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:05 PM
Go Paranoia!!

INF
05-17-2006, 03:08 PM
Go Paranoia!!


Go, you running short of ideas! I ain't playin when I say that you need to leave or change up ur game.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:08 PM
Ducktape!!!!!!!!!

INF
05-17-2006, 03:12 PM
Ducktape!!!!!!!!!


yeah, ducktape ur proxies.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:14 PM
36chambers unbanned my IP-Adress so I don't use proxy anymore ok.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:16 PM
If you go on like this then maybe I will have to use proxy again. But it doesn't matter because I have proxy.

INF
05-17-2006, 03:16 PM
36chambers unbanned my IP-Adress so I don't use proxy anymore ok.


Ahhhh..... all too easy then.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:17 PM
All to easy to shut your mouth.

INF
05-17-2006, 03:19 PM
All to easy to shut your mouth.


Its too not to, idiot. And its also all TOO easy to shut a various list of things. Should not throw stones when you live in a glass house.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:20 PM
I Don't Start.

INF
05-17-2006, 03:22 PM
I Don't Start.

thats correct. you end.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:24 PM
I end I'm gonna stop typing in this stupid thread now.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:32 PM
lmao.

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:48 PM
I hate ducktape.

ilzPotent
05-17-2006, 03:50 PM
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Capsule/8333/ducttape/ducttape.gif

ěDESSA
05-17-2006, 03:52 PM
I don't need that ^

ilzPotent
05-17-2006, 03:54 PM
:lmao: :W

TUCO
05-17-2006, 04:36 PM
its DUCT-TAPE
c'mon kidds

CherChezLaMarauder
05-17-2006, 04:50 PM
you couldn't pimp a one legged ogre

Jesus Christ
05-17-2006, 07:40 PM
I still wanna know how the fuck someone gets their nut off from dry humping...


Don't wear any underware, and wear some parachute pants. Get the finest stripper to hop your lap for an hour and see how long you can go before you request a wet nap.

Luther Large
05-17-2006, 08:36 PM
its DUCT-TAPE
c'mon kidds

lol right that bitch odessa is stupid