View Full Version : Tell us a joke

05-24-2006, 01:14 PM
a pianist enters a piano bar to ask about the 'piano player wanted' sign in the window. he goes up to the counter and says to the girls
- can i talk to the fucking manager?
the girl replies - sorry sir? a bit surprised
can i speak to the motherfuckin cock scking manager?
the girl runs out back a little frightened and gets the manager who goes to speak to the man
- yes sir can i help you
- are you the pussylicken cock sucking fucking manager
- i'm the manager sir, and i'd appreciate it if you left the bar please.
- i'm here about the cuntin fuckin piano job
- the manager being a little scared asks the man to play a song so he can then proceed to ask the man to leave. the painist plays the most amazing song the manager has ever heard.
- wow, thats incredible. whats the name on
- i'm going to titty fuck younder the moon light until you cum so hard my balls ache
- em! ok. can you play anything else? the manager asks. again the pianist plays a song, the like of which the manager has never heard.
- what was that called?
- i want to pull down your panties and fuck you up the ass while fingering your pussy
the manager can see that the man has some sort of problem but makes a deal with the man to become the clubs pianist as long as he never talks in public and never ever says the song titles to the audience, the man agreed.
on his first night working, the pianist is going down a storm, getting standing ovations after every song. when asked the names of the songs he just smiles politely at the audience. than a woman wearing a skin tight white low cut dress comes into the bar. she sits directly opposite the piano player. she is very attracted to him and shows this by sucking on a cherry and fingering her nipple discreetly at the man. the piano player can't help but notice and watchs as the woman continues to pleasure her self. the pianist becomes very aroused and gets a very hard penis. the woman proceeds to open her legs and shows her pussy to the piano player. at this stage he's had enough. he jumps up from the piano and rushs into the toilet. he pulls out his dick and masturbates. while in the middle of this the manager comes into the gents and bangs on the cubicle door.
- what are you doing in there. the customers are waiting. no one said you could have a break. get back at that piano.
the man becomes flustered and pulls up his pants quickly and rushs back out to the piano. he plays a song all the while watching the sexy woman. whwn he finishes, she approaches him and says
- do you know you've got a hard dick caught in your zip and its dripping cum all over your shoes
to which the man replies
- know it, i fucking wrote it.

The Hound
05-24-2006, 01:27 PM
too lomg im too intoxicated to read tgar sorry dude

byut i got jokes

guy walks into a bar with ashphalt under his arm he says "ill have a scotch and one for the road thanks"

why did the scarecrow get a nobel peace prize? he was outstanding in his field

aboriginal walks into a bar with one thong on, barman says 'lost a thong mate?' aboriginal says 'nah mate, found one' LOL sorry to any aboriginals im not trya be rascist but yeh imsawwie

you know youre a redneck when you look at a carton of orange juice for 30 minutes cos it said 'concentrate'

little johnny asks his dad 'dad, why do women have periods' dad says 'because they deserve them'

little johnny asks 'dad, why do married men die early' dad says 'because they want to son'

little jonny, the litle fuckin perve cunt, says to his mum, he goes 'oi mum, why doe you women have them thingys on ya chest n men dont' mum is stunned like :O donno wot to say, she says 'errr, go ask ya father' so little jonny asks his dad, 'dad, what r them things on womens chest' and dad is like stunned, donno wot to say hes like 'errrr son theere ummmm errr BALLOONS' jonny like 'wot do they do?' dads like 'errr they umm lift mummy into heaven when she dies so she can float to heaven' so dad comes home the next day and little jonny runs to him 'DADDY DADDY MUMMYS DYING' dad is like WTF little jonny is like 'YEAH MUMMYS DYING UNCLE HARRY IS BLOWING ON HER BALLOONS AND AND MUMMY IS YELLING OH GOD IM COMING'

the new teacha in little jonny class had a psychology degree n tried to use her knowledge to get on top of the class, she says "everyone whot thinks theyre stupuid, stand up" after a few second, ltitle jonny stand up, teacher says "do you think ur stupid?" little jonny says "nah, but i hate to see u standing up all by urself"

teacher in little jonny class says "can anyone kno a multi sylable word" little jonny shots his hand likea rocket "ME BITCH" teahcer knows little jonny is a smart but she goes 'errr ok, tell us one" jonny says "masturbation" teachers "err, thats a mouthful for a young lad isnt it?: jonn sats "na thatsa blowjob, this is a wank"

little jonny is sitting in the park on his own bein cool, suzin comes up chewin some gum, she says "hey jonny, wanna play doctor" jonny says "fuckl that its too oldfashioned, spit out ya gum,i wanna play president"

h i post some mor later wen im sorta soberish

The Hound
05-24-2006, 01:34 PM
chunkz u idiot theyre not jokes, tis ia joke

lttle johnny ask his dad, "y does a woman close her eyes during sex?" dads saus "she hates to see a man having a good time.

05-24-2006, 02:27 PM
Q:what's the difference between fucking and making love?

a: making love is what the girl does when the guy's fucking her

05-24-2006, 02:29 PM
whats the difference between an apple and a dead baby?


The Hound
05-26-2006, 12:28 AM
little johnny and his dad are hav a father/son moment, dad says "so, you had sex yet"
little johnny says "not according to bill clinton"

how do you stop an 8 year old from choking?
take ya dick out its mouth

guy walks into a bar with a cork in his ass, bartender asks him what happend, guy says 'well, i found a lamp and started to rub it and a genie appeard and said i had 3 wishes, i said no shit'

05-26-2006, 12:35 AM
women's rights.

05-26-2006, 07:11 AM
women's rights.


clearly men are the biggest joke.

The Hound
05-26-2006, 07:30 AM
yoo where in syd u at

05-26-2006, 07:32 AM
Near parra (go the eels, even though they suck haha)

05-26-2006, 08:56 AM

Sicka than aidZ
05-26-2006, 08:54 PM
*ENTERS.., Searches Wu Corp, Finds 3 Threads Just As Gay As This , Leaves*

Sicka than aidZ
05-26-2006, 08:56 PM
Wait, Freestyle Post

Sicka than aidZ
05-26-2006, 08:57 PM

clearly men are the biggest joke.



05-26-2006, 09:00 PM
Hey friends, here's a joke for you all to enjoy.....

Wu Tang Clan.

Sicka than aidZ
05-26-2006, 09:12 PM