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Mr:Merrick
05-28-2006, 08:17 AM
I抦 gonna snap like mad max, working with there bad backs//
Nothing happens to them until they turn to nerve wrecks//
Dreaming of a life with light//
Shining brighter then stars shine//
A life without depression, the lesson was the real question//
Homies resting after a gunfight with the smith and western//
Everybody is telling me keep on being real//
But I feel that these scars just won抰 ever heal//
But I keep on moving, trying to live my life like a movie//
All my homies told me that I couldn抰 do it, I just knew it//
You had your last shot sucker you just blew it//
if you find that path my friend you better use it//
I see my homies dyin, hear there mothers cryin//
The bullets will be flyin thru the streets where I抣l be lying//
Any day now, what am I supposed to say now?//
That its all okay now// man this place is a playground//
For murderers, maniacs, pimps and drug dillers//
Kidnapping rapists, and psycho fuckin killas//
I抣l be walkin down these streets every mothafuckin night//
Just prayin that my life someday will be all right//
And it should, cuz I heard Mr: Bush holding a speech//
In witch he kept mentioning justice and peace//
While the police was assaulting my homeboys out in tha streets//
And if that抯 what he calls justice then wont somebody pleas//
Give that man a dictionary and ask him to fuckin read//
Everybody抯 asking about me and my players//
Sprayers, mad dogs working as soldiers for the god payers//
Get up every morning without any reason//
Just hoping that there lives will be better the next season//
But deep inside there hearts, they already know//
That isn抰 the way that it抯 all gonna go//
Cuz when you grow up in the streets, and you live a thug life//
There aint no such things as happiness and sunshine//.

please comment.

peace

Mr:Merrick
05-28-2006, 08:36 AM
feedback anyone?

Mr:Merrick
05-28-2006, 09:54 AM
anyone?

Mr:Merrick
05-28-2006, 10:45 AM
nobody?

Mr:Merrick
05-29-2006, 03:34 PM
im walking thru the shadows of my past//
gotta think fast, hard to live lika an outcast//
my heart is pounding so hard that it hurts//
my hands are shakin and i feel like my head is about to burst//
empty shells of lost souls like an echo of silence//
streets filled with corpses and cops that use violence//
my brain is racin and I磎 soced in sweth//
my world is fadeing now I磎 close to death//
i close my eyes as i drag my last breath//
but i wont give up untill my soule gets blessed.

just a little something to keep it goin..

Father N Dangerous
05-29-2006, 03:41 PM
ight lookin str8 keep going

Mr:Merrick
05-29-2006, 03:51 PM
my songs can make you shake like a fuckin earthquake//
make crates for gods sake, with lyrics that massacrate//
feels great to see you shake, whats up now beefcake?//
i play it straight, with precission on a mission to terminate//
suckas whos runnin late, life is tha heavens gate//
with my debate, of tha rate, about to eliminate//
all tha fakes, its my state, smashin your face againt tha hot plate//

kinnda bad thou.. just fellt like whriting something.

Mr:Merrick
05-29-2006, 03:52 PM
thnx white, your opinions are allways highly respected in my book.

ProjectArchimedes
05-29-2006, 06:42 PM
pretty ill man, the first couples lines were kind of choppy and some didnt rhyme too well, but once you got going it got real nice. You had a nice picture going on and a real message, not just some bullshit. Stay up and keep dropping man.

Mr:Merrick
05-30-2006, 09:44 AM
thnx for the comment Project, I磍 work on it.. peace

Mr:Merrick
05-30-2006, 03:17 PM
this is a little peice I磎 workin on, i would appreciate if you could give me some comments..

so your the man now riding in your rolls royce?//
just one question where the fuck are your homeboys?//
yeah you got it all, the bling-bling and the wide-screen//
a bigger house then you ever could have dreamed//
more cars then a player ever seen//
top model girlfriend, but you cant be happy//
front cover, of new york times//
showing of your girlfriend, your rings, and your dimes//
a million doller car, million doller house//
I rather live on the street than be a sell-out//
someday you磍l wake up, wonder where your homeboys at//
you lost them on your way to fame and they aint comin back//
they left you for your phoney ass rap//
your million doller cars and your sell-out crap//
but you aint shit, when the music stops//
cuz then your money will be the only friends you got.

pleas comment.. peace

Sirkulayshun
05-30-2006, 03:24 PM
i feel what u sayin....wasnt lyrically destructive but i dont think it was suppose 2 be...its good cuz its showin how u think :thumbup: keep it up



as for the other stuff....
great structure.....nice flo....vocab's pretty good (could improve in some areas tho) but ur rhymes are tight


"empty shells of lost souls like an echo of silence//
streets filled with corpses and cops that use violence//"
nice line
overall i'd giv it 8/10
keep it up peace
check my thread sometime

Mr:Merrick
05-30-2006, 03:40 PM
thnx Sirk, I appreciate your comments.. and thnx for the critics, I磍l work on it aight.. and thnx for reading it all thru instead of just one or two lines, really appreciate it yo. and I磍l definitely chek your thread.

peace

Da Dishonourable Don
05-30-2006, 08:32 PM
yo Merrick keep doin' whay you do, you're spittin' realness, which I think is the most important factor when rhymin', but I got to say that last verse you wrote, I was feelin' it but I'd rather have the million dollar crib kid, of course with all my fams and homies along with it, but Big L said it best " 'cause when you got ends you don't need no mothafuckin' friends", lol, just fuckin' with you, do you homie, peace!

Mr:Merrick
05-31-2006, 07:30 AM
thnx Don, i appreciate you takin time to read it all, and thnx for the comment, peace

Eversick666
05-31-2006, 09:04 PM
yah,Mr.Merrick peeped ya skillz,keep tellin it how its is tho....
one
eversick666

Mr:Merrick
06-02-2006, 11:22 AM
thnx Eversick. peace

Mr:Merrick
06-23-2006, 10:44 PM
eyo, its been a while, but i磎 back now, this is da drunk fuckin session, 05 37 for gods sake..

everyobobys watching me playing with da words, how absurd, the illest lyrecist you ever heard.
eyo I磎 sippin da bears while you sittin theare shakin.
you gone taste da fuckin bullet when i start da prison breakin.
you can suck my fuckin dick.
when i end up in da can you gone be my fuckin bitch.
if you fuck with me you are goin strate to hell.
and da same goes for C:H and that fuckah charlie Bell.

that does it,i a so fuckin wasted.. i磎 just tryin 2 keep tha thread alive yo..

Mr:Merrick
07-25-2006, 11:53 AM
Mr:merrick, a Krueger consiens//
the contents of a man with poetic competens//
a blazing chase in this amazing maze//
its a erazing race in this remaining haze//
and im in face of grace so im ending this case//
and leaving without a trace//
I磍l be leaving you bleeding and screaming inject the semen//
boy your dreaming if you think your emceein for all Im seeing//
your just talking shit, bout you bitches takin hits//
so check this, cause our shit is a sheer bliss//
this aint no battlefield punk, this is a fucking hell hole//
youll be walking out of here with a broken nose and a fucked up elbow//
this shit is for life now are you bitches down//
you should take my advice and get the fuck out of town//

just something to keep it going, i been away for some time now but it磗 time i start practicing again..

Mr:Merrick
11-24-2006, 12:17 PM
yo back on net, about time i drop a new lyrric.. and B.T.W I'm from Sweden so I'm pretty fucked at the spelling and all but I'm doing all i can.

You get stuck and sucked up in my lyrrical vortex//
know i sound pretty fucked up spittin a gore text//
dont blame the game, Soldjah Blue can't lose//
back in your place, now spitt-shine my shoose//
I ain't done i got more of this hot sound//
wont be done 'till all my targets has been shot down//
this game is a shooting range and this is practice//
my lines penetrate your skin just like a cactus//
187, for whom tools the bell?//
you be reatchin for heaven and get dragged down to hell//
got my name back in the game, but i don't play fair//
you can hate me all you want but your still to scared//
to challeng me in a battle of rap//
cus you know commpared to mine all your songs are crap//
it stinks. like fat ass-crack//
startin think that when you spit the sound comes out of your ass//

Mr:Merrick
01-20-2007, 01:01 PM
fuck with me and sufficate in a bag//
i ripp your mothafuckin lungs out of your anus you fag//
can't battle this sound, we fuckin rule underground//
U fuck with us and your bodies will never ever be found//
Sublime Styles be dropping this shit like thunder//
if you bitches dont step down, you'll be waking up six feet under//
heard your songs, what a fuckin party drag//
you'll need i libeo-sucktion to fitt in da fuckin bodiebag//
i stun the crowd like a mothafuckin lightning//
it's frightning, i feast on your flesh just like a viking//

just some kinnda freestyle to get the thread going again, Sweden represented hehe..

Bigot Hitman
01-20-2007, 02:47 PM
fuck with me and sufficate in a bag//
i ripp your mothafuckin lungs out of your anus you fag//
(good flow, descent punches, 7.3/10)

can't battle this sound, we fuckin rule underground//
U fuck with us and your bodies will never ever be found//
(another good flow, better punchlines, solid bar,8/10)

Sublime Styles be dropping this shit like thunder//
if you bitches dont step down, you'll be waking up six feet under//
(Like the hardcore appeal, consistent flow, good punch again, 8.2/10)

heard your songs, what a fuckin party drag//
you'll need i libeo-sucktion to fitt in da fuckin bodiebag//
(I see the attempt at a multi, descent bar, ok punch 7.3/10)

i stun the crowd like a mothafuckin lightning//
it's frightning, i feast on your flesh just like a viking//
(Descent basic metaphor, ok closer, good flow, 7.7/10)

Nice flow on this verse, an i like the hardcore appeal. Keep spittin that hardcore.... Overall-7.7/10

Mr:Merrick
01-26-2007, 05:07 PM
thnx Czar