View Full Version : Off the dome written

05-29-2006, 03:21 PM
Ayo this is 'The Temple Of Dart's' put a 'staple through your tongue' and thow it like dart's
My centre is dark and my heart is 'frozen as water', Mc's need to quit 'poessing you look like your daughter's',
When 'trapped in closed quater's' you 'adapted to survive' your scared off your daughter, your pussy as you 'getting eatten alive !'
'Beaten and strived' minus the perfection,
These fag's wanna be lyrical, but lack Affection.
I'm a 'verbal infection'
The type to pull your 'cerebrail in many direction's' and make it the 'first time you go far', Hit me up bitchz i'll beat you with one bar.

The only thing ya'll dont no is that bar's metal rotfl jkz

05-29-2006, 04:22 PM
uppin 4 feedback

Father N Dangerous
05-29-2006, 04:35 PM
ight, cmon ya used daughter twice, so that tells me right there expand ya vocab, and those so called punches u were attemtping aren't making contact, but, at least you tryiing dawg, keep elevate'n stay up

05-29-2006, 11:58 PM
take white's advice, plus work on ya fill, play on wordz,and don't say shit twice.
otherwise keep spitten ninja

05-30-2006, 12:30 AM
^^^^agree with the above....work on ur wordplay...keep at it tho

05-30-2006, 05:47 AM
ight thankz 4 the feed i'll work on it

05-30-2006, 09:05 AM
2nd attempt

My 'verbal way's' are intoxicated from 'sucidle, word play's'
Contaminated, with the 'pain in my vein's', with rap as my game
Deoxyginated blood, will 'drain when i'm slain',
Nothing to gain
As I'm 'indulged with darkness', You'll be fryed chicked A 'pulled apart Carcuss'
You really 'want to start shit',
but you 'remain affraid', The way to avoid the pain is to throw the grenade,
Legend's need aid, but they live on another level,
Spiritually inclined, refer to me as 'posessed by the devil', 'obssessed with whats evil'
Minds 'depressed' like your girl at home, she likes my brain, hence my head. 'aint 'fucked up alone'

06-01-2006, 11:14 PM
better,needz more flow in it tho..