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View Full Version : Hell On Earth Pt.1


shystar36
07-05-2005, 10:03 PM
dark angels with severed wings
black spray paint on walls
that reads "the ending is coming"
repent your sins
i walk with pagans and heavens kings
it's hell on earth, ever since birth
i dreamt of beauty and happiness cause it brings
a bright existence where children sing
life is to hostile
i gave up on making friends
cause they'll turn on you, christs apostles
i murdered half of my conscience
the darkness controls my whole thought process
come hold my hand,
you'll see a world gone bonkers
death is a tv show with a world wide audience
i've been staring at my wrists since the age of 16
thinking about ripping them honest
to those who flipped on me
youre dead to me, the liqours poured
all's those things you said to me
had my held filled with such twisted words
from my grown age, to my stoneage
my life's been stuck on the wrong page
i wanna die so i can spread my wings
fly away, fuck this old cage(slight pause)
lyrical bongage, physical carnage, chemical bombs
the world comes to an end
it does'nt matter what the fuck saddam says
the bible is a book from the skies
homeless men on the bus
approach me, tell me my words are heretic lies
some feel the ending comes by suprise
your introduction to death
came with the first time that you opened your eyes
we all die...

I-Legit
07-05-2005, 11:39 PM
celan up your structure.....i cant really hear your bar pattern when u type it like that.....to many pauses...sounds wierd

444trumpets
07-05-2005, 11:58 PM
that was tight
pegan stuff,
life ,
makes alot of sense
homeless verse was good work peace 4 4 4 trumpets
CAN I BE ON PART 2

GuardianOne
07-06-2005, 08:00 AM
Its a interesting verse, though the subject brings a lot of criticisim (your title). But the way you place this verse seems as though you have just broken up from some one you cared for or in a sense loved? but it was okay the verse, just some expressions that you might want to avoid "bonkers" hey it creates a lot of thoughts. Keep posting though.

Peace

shystar36
07-06-2005, 01:22 PM
thanks for the input. i'll definitely post some other shit. if any one else has some comments bring it. and as far as the usage of the word bonkers, i really don't see the big deal. the word is corny, but i'm not, and neither is my voice so...