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Sicka than aidZ
07-21-2006, 12:18 AM
LONDON: Predictably enough, the world's funniest joke - across countries, continents and cultural confusion, has been told by a Sikh, whose simplistic humour is rooted in rural Phagwara and nurtured by the gritty life of northern England.

On Thursday, Gurpal Gossal, 31, a second-generation Indian immigrant from Manchester via Punjab, was told the most serious truth of them all - that his submission was officially the funniest of 40,000 jokes from a staggering 70 countries.

"I was delighted, I could spend a lifetime dining out on that joke," the poker-faced Gossal told TNN, "now my wife will have to believe I'm funny - for three years, she's struggled not to laugh".

However, Wiseman's laughlab happily regurgitates Gossal's joke, which goes like this:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"


^^^^^^^^

Anyways, it isnt even that funny. anyone gotta better one.

Gawd
07-21-2006, 12:24 AM
LONDON: Predictably enough, the world's funniest joke - across countries, continents and cultural confusion, has been told by a Sikh, whose simplistic humour is rooted in rural Phagwara and nurtured by the gritty life of northern England.

On Thursday, Gurpal Gossal, 31, a second-generation Indian immigrant from Manchester via Punjab, was told the most serious truth of them all - that his submission was officially the funniest of 40,000 jokes from a staggering 70 countries.

"I was delighted, I could spend a lifetime dining out on that joke," the poker-faced Gossal told TNN, "now my wife will have to believe I'm funny - for three years, she's struggled not to laugh".


However, Wiseman's laughlab happily regurgitates Gossal's joke, which goes like this: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"


^^^^^^^^

Anyways, it isnt even that funny. anyone gotta better one.




The 1st half made me think it was going to have a dick cheney punchline.

crass
07-21-2006, 12:46 AM
laaaaaaaaaame!

Gawd
07-21-2006, 12:47 AM
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h144/edbigghead/mugatuhappy2vq.gif

Visionz
07-21-2006, 01:03 AM
What do you call a cow with no legs?































































ground beef <I figure that joke is about as equally funny.

EAGLE EYE
07-21-2006, 02:01 AM
how many fucking pieces of shit on a wu corp forum does it take to screw in a lightbuild?





















Answer: enough for a clip

Razorsharp
07-21-2006, 02:24 AM
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h144/edbigghead/mugatuhappy2vq.gif


:clap: now thats funny

crass
07-21-2006, 02:43 AM
What do you call a cow with no legs?































































ground beef <I figure that joke is about as equally funny.

^^^ no that one's a little funnier. haha

BRONZBODY
07-21-2006, 09:37 AM
what do u call a eskimo lesbian??????
































a klondike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

zeppelin2k
07-21-2006, 11:59 AM
why did the woman cross the road?




































who CARES why the bitch crossed the road, what the FUCK is she doing out of the kitchen!!??

Unforgiven
07-21-2006, 12:01 PM
What do you call a gay dinosaur?













Megasorass....

tha god concept
07-21-2006, 12:19 PM
whats the difference between a ni**a and a picnic table..???




















a picnic table can support a family lol

im not racist at all , i just think its a funny joke

crass
07-21-2006, 12:46 PM
why did the woman cross the road?












who CARES why the bitch crossed the road, what the FUCK is she doing out of the kitchen!!??


nah, this is how it should go

why did the feminist cross the road?



















TO SUCK MY DICK!

famenchuan
07-21-2006, 12:53 PM
I was in the city with my freind and we got split up and I was totally lost. I had no idea where I was and it was 11pm. Someone came up to me and said $300 and you can do anything you want with me. We went back to her place and was fucking. She then took out a fake eye and said stick in there. I start fucking in the eye. After we were done I said I see you around. She said I keep an eye out for you.

Visionz
07-21-2006, 02:07 PM
What do you call a a dog with no legs?









































































It doesn't matter what you call it. Its not coming.

ShaDynasty
07-21-2006, 02:38 PM
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.

Unforgiven
07-21-2006, 03:20 PM
How many jews can you fit in a car?
2 in the front, 2 in the back, 2,999,996 in the ashtray....

I'm gonna goto hell for that one...

IRAN
07-21-2006, 03:47 PM
Did you hear about the short sighted circumscicor?





























He got the sack!

Its Big Lu baby
07-21-2006, 05:05 PM
why did the woman cross the road?



who CARES why the bitch crossed the road, what the FUCK is she doing out of the kitchen!!??
LMFAO
that was the greatest joke
ive heard in ages
if there was rep points
i would make it my life goal to attempt
to give u one daily
amazing
i was on the ground for hours lol

CherChezLaMarauder
07-21-2006, 05:11 PM
Megasorass!


ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

Frontal Lobotomy
07-21-2006, 05:18 PM
^^To continue the womanising theme:
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

Ive told her twice already, fuckssake

Heres the better one; A fellow comes back from 5 years at sea, and is proper sexually frustrated, so he thinks its time to hit the brothel. Upon arriving there, he is informed that ther eare no more hookers left, and all that remains is a big duck. He thinks "fuck it, I'll have the duck like" So he spends half the night fuckin a duck thinkin "i'll get there earlier tomorrow, and get myself a pick of the chickens".
So he arrives the following day, real early so that hecan get a piece of the action. When he gets ther ehe's told there's nothing left, so he asks about the duck. Unfortunately the duck died that morning, so he's left with shit. Seeing that he was Really wanting some action the madame says "It might not be much, but there's a glory hole at the top of the stairs, so yo ucan look through and have a wank for a fiver". Thinking its better than nothing he stumps up. So he gets up there, assumes the position and has a gander through the hole, only to find there are 2 blokes in there, and one of them's picking up the soap like. So he turns to the other fella and says "this ain't much cop, is it?". To which the other guy replies "It was much better last night, some silly fucker was bangin a duck!"
Arf

Sicka than aidZ
07-21-2006, 06:01 PM
HAHAHAHAHAAHHA^^^^^^^:thumbup:

We steal their culture, they steal our car radio's... lets just call it even

He said that back on THECORPSE

Gawd
07-21-2006, 06:25 PM
Whats the 1st thing a woman does after she leaves her spousal abuse thearpy sessions?






















The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

GENERAL WISE
07-21-2006, 06:40 PM
good joke

carnage
07-21-2006, 06:41 PM
whats the difference between michael jackson and acne???


















acne waits until youre at least 13 b4 it cums on your face

JASPER
07-21-2006, 06:44 PM
I wish an alligator would swim up through my toilet and allow me to wrestle it. I even attempted to instigate this behavior by eating an alligator meat pizza at Pizza Schmizza and then unloading an unholy abomination of a shit upon my inferior toilet, which I truly believed would provoke its mighty kinfolk to enact revenge on my furious bowels. Avenge their brothers, that sort of thing. But not a single one of those scaly bastards came up. I was so disappointed that all I could bring myself to do was sit down right there in the indian position and begin simultaneously masturbating and crying. Believe it or not, this didn't provoke any alligators from coming up through my toilet either. I swear to god, alligators are such pussies.


That's the funniest thing I read today

WolfMan
07-21-2006, 08:59 PM
10 TRUTHS BLACK HISPANIC AND ASIAN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:
1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller.
8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

10 TRUTHS WHITE BLACK AND ASIAN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT HISPANIC PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:
1. Hickey's are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
5. Cars are not meant to touch the ground.
6. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
7. 10 people to a car is considered too many.
8. Your in America you speak our language.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

10 TRUTHS WHITE HISPANIC AND ASIAN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:
1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Ranch is a salad dressing, not a side dish.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. RED is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.

10 TRUTHS WHITE HISPANIC AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT ASIAN PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT
1. You cant drive.
2. Disneyland is not the happiest place on earth.
3. The peace sign is outdated.
4. Rice is not a main course.
5. Taking pictures is fun, taking pictures of strangers is just weird.
6. Feet were meant to grow.
7. You need girls just as much as you need boys.
8. Dogs were meant to be pets, not eaten.
9. You dont need above a 4.0 to graduate.
10. Fanny packs are not an accessory.


Now remember, only laugh at the jokes about your own ethnicity! ;)

Sicka than aidZ
07-21-2006, 09:13 PM
Chicken is food, not a roommate.


Hahahahahahaha^

Gawd
07-21-2006, 09:17 PM
6. Feet were meant to grow.

ZOMFG....hahaha

Frontal Lobotomy
07-21-2006, 09:25 PM
I'm sure there was room for a couple of pecker jokes in that one. Still, good stuff haha

born invincible
07-21-2006, 10:00 PM
whats the 3 places a woman should always be?





the bedroom, the kitchen, and the walk between the two..

PLO-Stylez
07-21-2006, 11:22 PM
nah, this is how it should go

why did the feminist cross the road?



















TO SUCK MY DICK!

no this is funnier
want to hear a joke ....















***********womans rights**********

PLO-Stylez
07-21-2006, 11:39 PM
what is the diference between a canoe and a jew

the canoe tips

_____________________

Have you heard about the Jewish sports car?

It stops on a dime, then picks it up

________________________

How do u blindfold an asian ?

with dental floss

_________________

What do Nike's and the KKK have in common ?

The make black ppl run fast

I hope i offended u .....just kidding
I just like racist jokes

Here is one for white ppl

A black man says to a white man.....

When i'm cold im black
when i'm in the sun i'm black
when i'm sick im black
when i die i'm black
when i grew up i was black still

BUt u

When ur cold ur blue
when ur in the sun ur red
when ur sick ur green
when u die u turn purple
when u grew up u were white

And u call me a colored man

PLO-Stylez
07-21-2006, 11:53 PM
got another one....
a joke for the dirty mind.....

what is a word that u call a woman that has 4 letters and ends with *unt








actually its aunt

a bit lame but made me laugh the first time i heard it
_____________________________
for the dumb ppl u meet...

ur the opposite of smart feces get it dumb shit
that is actually a quote from Masta Ace

crass
07-22-2006, 01:08 AM
no this is funnier
want to hear a joke ....















***********womans rights**********


PLO hahaha your jokes are killin me

ERN-DAWGY
07-22-2006, 06:26 PM
i got some

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?


















CUZ IT HAD AIDES ....BAHAHAHAHA OK NEXT ONE



WHAT DID CINDARELLA SAY WHEN SHE GOT TO THE BALL?















*ARGHK*

WHEN IS THE ONLY TIME U SMILE AT A JEW?
WHEN U LOOK DOWN THE BARREL OF YOUR SHOTGUN

WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PIZZAZ AND JEWS?
THE PIZZA DOESNT SCREAM WHEN U PUT IT IN THE OWEN

tha god concept
07-22-2006, 08:19 PM
i got a tattoo of an indian on my arm last year

















my arm hasent worked since

Sicka than aidZ
07-22-2006, 08:27 PM
why do dogs lick their balls?









































Cuz they cant make little fists!

Unforgiven
07-22-2006, 11:21 PM
Why are there no Mexican's on Star Trek?
Because they don't work in the future either...

How do you starve a Mexican?
Put his foodstamps under his workboots....