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View Full Version : My First lyrics ever....


Mahzel
08-15-2006, 05:01 PM
And its inspired by what i did last night. So, lemme know what you think...



Broken promises are a fuckin comodity, |
she be a con artist and she did one-on-to-me. |
My brotha came home with a bag-a-weed |
said "yo, wanna come get high with me?"|
He rolled the blunt listenin to his fave'rit beat. |
Now im like a passenger in his car's seat.|
Out my lungs comes grey smoke and red heat, |
This is a feeling that just cant be beat. |
We in his Hyundai but just off tha street. |
I thought me and her were better than ever, |
We'd never severe, but i aint too clever, |
and this is causin some stormy weather. |
I am just looking for the sun, |
my life's a mere simple pun, |
and i wanna get in some fun. |
So I'ma be fucked up til december... |
To forget all the shit i still remember. |


What do you think? Not the best i know, but its my first. And a true story, aside from the last two lines.

smokebongoncliff
08-15-2006, 05:04 PM
i like it. where do you live

Mahzel
08-15-2006, 05:11 PM
Massachusetts.... suburbs. Hence the no killing. : )

Bigot Hitman
08-15-2006, 05:30 PM
Its better than my first bull shit piece i posted on here.

White_Mouse
08-15-2006, 06:13 PM
yo that's pretty nice for your first flow EVER.
but you got to examine yourself and see if u truly are deticated to rappin. how much time your willin to spend to become a good emcee, and what kinda sacrifices you'll make to get good quality, and the like. (i know i did)
if not your just wastin your time.
also somthing that i've really been challanged by recently is "how i rap"
flow and delivery is always the most important thing (but NEVER overlook working to create dope lyrics).
peep my little piece i did for a mixtape comin out soon,
on www.myspace.com/mousetheprodigy
and you'll see what i mean by having dope lyrics accompinied by a decent flow. the delivery could use work though, and i know i can do better.
but take my advice as a fairly young emcee (i been rappin for about 2 and 1/2 years) remember that "practice makes perfect" and "time is money"
if you are truly serious about rappin spend your precious, precious time,
writing adn practicing to become better.

Mahzel
08-15-2006, 08:43 PM
yeah, im really not serious about rapping. I am white and 14 from a the smallest town around. And i was inspired by all the lyrics i've been reading here and listening to... and i just writing down what happened last night and it seemed to flow. took no time to write, cuz the idea was true. But thanks anyway.. i will prolly post more lyrics soon or eventually. : )

Bigot Hitman
08-15-2006, 08:56 PM
I am white and 14 from a the smallest town around.

Lol, it don't got shit to do wit race, its talent. Go read a dictonary an elevate the fabrication.

mashqauck
08-15-2006, 09:40 PM
pretty fucking tight

I am 14 too!

Mahzel
08-16-2006, 01:15 PM
thanks all... i'll make some more up when i have time.

VernakuLa
08-16-2006, 10:21 PM
yo that's pretty nice for your first flow EVER.
but you got to examine yourself and see if u truly are deticated to rappin. how much time your willin to spend to become a good emcee, and what kinda sacrifices you'll make to get good quality, and the like. (i know i did)
if not your just wastin your time.
also somthing that i've really been challanged by recently is "how i rap"
flow and delivery is always the most important thing (but NEVER overlook working to create dope lyrics).
peep my little piece i did for a mixtape comin out soon,
on www.myspace.com/mousetheprodigy (http://www.myspace.com/mousetheprodigy)
and you'll see what i mean by having dope lyrics accompinied by a decent flow. the delivery could use work though, and i know i can do better.
but take my advice as a fairly young emcee (i been rappin for about 2 and 1/2 years) remember that "practice makes perfect" and "time is money"
if you are truly serious about rappin spend your precious, precious time,
writing adn practicing to become better.

damm, some1 gettin cocky?