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View Full Version : Ok, second shit... fresh out my skull


Mahzel
08-17-2006, 06:23 PM
Just thought this up, what do ya think?

I'ma I'ma...
I'm a Chameleon, I blend into shit around me, |
Its Fuckin' maraculous that your blind ass found me. |
Swimmin in mah pool, What, are you gonna drown me? |
Yeah I'ma king, but don't ya dare Crown me.
Ya shoulda paid up, 5'3, you're a ragin' runt. |
And ya bitch is crazy, yo, cage the cunt. |
I took her and thats what made jah hunt. |
But just chillax, man, and blaze ya blunt. |
Or I'll kick ya head off, it'll be a major punt. |
You blindly bet on horse number 11, |
The Winner as always, was number 7, |
Pay me now or ya ass is goin' ta heaven, |
"Don't man i gotta lil kid, his name is Kevin", |
I'ma Hardcore assassin like in "Lucky Number Slevin". |


Yeah, i dunno if its as good as my last... but it just all kinda came to me.

Bigot Hitman
08-17-2006, 08:49 PM
[QUOTE=Mahzel;553779]Just thought this up, what do ya think?

I'ma I'ma...
I'm a Chameleon, I blend into shit around me, |
Its Fuckin' maraculous that your blind ass found me. |
Swimmin in mah pool, What, are you gonna drown me? |
Yeah I'ma king, but don't ya dare Crown me.
Ya shoulda paid up, 5'3, you're a ragin' runt. |
And ya bitch is crazy, yo, cage the cunt. |
I took her and thats what made jah hunt. |
But just chillax, man, and blaze ya blunt. |
Or I'll kick ya head off, it'll be a major punt. |
You blindly bet on horse number 11, |
The Winner as always, was number 7, |
Pay me now or ya ass is goin' ta heaven, |
"Don't man i gotta lil kid, his name is Kevin", |
I'ma Hardcore assassin like in "Lucky Number Slevin". |

QUOTE]


The scheme is simple an used too much. Gota switch the rhymin words up alittle more. Descent lyrics, keep at it.

jallainINS
08-17-2006, 09:57 PM
[quote=Mahzel;553779]Just thought this up, what do ya think?

I'ma I'ma...
I'm a Chameleon, I blend into shit around me, |
Its Fuckin' maraculous that your blind ass found me. |
Swimmin in mah pool, What, are you gonna drown me? |
Yeah I'ma king, but don't ya dare Crown me.
Ya shoulda paid up, 5'3, you're a ragin' runt. |
And ya bitch is crazy, yo, cage the cunt. |
I took her and thats what made jah hunt. |
But just chillax, man, and blaze ya blunt. |
Or I'll kick ya head off, it'll be a major punt. |
You blindly bet on horse number 11, |
The Winner as always, was number 7, |
Pay me now or ya ass is goin' ta heaven, |
"Don't man i gotta lil kid, his name is Kevin", |
I'ma Hardcore assassin like in "Lucky Number Slevin". |

QUOTE]


The scheme is simple an used too much. Gota switch the rhymin words up alittle more. Descent lyrics, keep at it.


actually you missed some of his schemin man.

around me / found me / drown me / crown me

ragin' runt / cage the cunt / made jah hunt / blaze ya blunt / major punt


u missed some of it there but yeah. kinda easy simple stuff but your catchin on quicker then most cats. keep writin and try to get some actual material and lyrics with meaning. rhyme about stuff you care about and get some emotion into your lines instead of nonesense. good job tho

Mahzel
08-17-2006, 10:34 PM
Ahh, see i thought it was good to be able to come up with many lines in a row with the same ending... Alright, i see now. Koo, thanks for the comments. And its supposed to be a little story of someone owing me money, then he finds me cuz i got his bitch, then i kill em. : )