View Full Version : Buzk Thread

09-12-2006, 05:24 PM
This is the first rhyme i have ever written so dont gimme a hard time
(no hook yet)

Yo check it out
Im the microphone wrecka, the slayer of the halfsteppah
Filling up your head with surpreme rhyme lecture
My technique is ill
Words are hard like steel
Mcís starts to squeel from the pain I provoke
My thoughts causes all competition to choke
The mic I leave it broke
Mcís I leave em soaked
In my mental liquor
No Mc is sicker
I leave your head split with the rhymes I spit
Mcís donít try it on cuz you know it wont fit
My style is too slick
Too big for ya small ass rhymes and broke lines
The impact from my words will send a chill through your spine

Yo, to ya fake MCís I suggest you take a seat
Cuz when it comes to this rap shit Iím an elite
Iíll snatch you of your feet
Destroy your whole fleet
Donít make me repeat
Iíll force you and your wack ass rhymes to retreat
Back to the lab you go, no hoe, no doe
Tryína improve your rhymes with no flow
But as long as you donít bite you can do what you like
Cuz if you try to co-sign itíll be your very last line
Iíll snatch the mic from behind
Send a spike through your spine
Donít provoke the beast whoís voice will cause disease
My alphabet burn micís across the seven seas
Plagues across the towns of these pirahna ass clowns
My mathematical data will shorten your ladders, Splatter your blatters
The crazy maniac against all peace full matters

Yo, as I said before Iím mad raw
My pen taps the law
Iíll kick in the door
Then I raid your spot
Make all ya jaws drop
When I start to write my scriptures takes a flight
Through every single block with the homicidal plot
Then I climb to the top to claim my thrown
Hand over my crown or get your dome blown
I Leave the former king remembered as a weak ass clown
But yo, Iím not a vet
Tho I understand if you label me a threat to your set
Or your society of rap with no variety
I rip the pages out of your wack rhyme diary
Learn to play your part or feel my deadly dart
I aim it straight for your heart
It ricochetes and hits the chart
Then my thoughts bust out just like a tidal wave
If you try to act brave itíll send you to your grave
So I highly recommend your ass to behave

bring me your thoughts

09-14-2006, 04:47 PM
your shits tight but a liitle redundent
how long did it take you to wright
were you frome
im looking for talent to join this little band of mine
halla back

Lil' Ruger
09-14-2006, 04:53 PM
oooo kool and to big dane is it an online one? cuz i'd be interested i got rhymes already posted

09-14-2006, 05:15 PM
hehe thanks man. I wrote this in a couple of days, just wrote when i had nothing else to do. could have made it better if i spent a little more time with it.
Anyways im from Norway, hehe.
I just wanted to write a rhyme and check what people thought about it, and if people like it i'll maybe write some more. Haven't really written anything else, except for a few lines.
thanks for the positive feedback, it inspires me to write more ^^

cofface killah69
09-14-2006, 07:47 PM
yo man that was ill. yea i agree with dane its a lil redundunt but check these lyrics of mine.


09-18-2006, 01:29 PM
Here's a new rhyme i just finished writing

Yo trust me
You donít wanna test the best from the west
I roll you like a blunt and then I smoke you like sess
See my rhymes come sharp and stimulate your ass like gin
Going against me is like pissing in the wind
So donít counterattack if you know your shit is wack
Cuz when you go against me there is no turning back
You fell straight into a trap
Now let me tell you about my plan
I invade your whole land
Crush your mountain into sand
Your mind is now stained from the words I explained
You regret that you tried
Cuz like meat on the grill I left your ass fried
Be glad you survived

Yo, the words I lay
I form em like clay
Stay out of my way when I start to spray
If you head in in my way I suggest you change your lane
Cuz if you enter my domain Iíll strike your main vein
Your brain get stained with pain as words pore down like rain
My thoughts bus out much faster than you blink
Approach me son
youíll leak worse than a sink
Always screaming on your songs that you keep it real
Please your fire aint even hot enough to forge the steel
Your whole vocabulary stink of fake like a skunk
That wack ass shit you bring belongs in the dump
Give me a record deal and Iíll be rolling like trump
These rhymes for many years within my mind I concealed
Now Iíve come to wreck the charts with these words I reveal

To you radio ass rappers who only rhyme to make a dime
In the real rap game your fake ass is way behind
Your formula is wack
how could you call that shit rhymes
Catchy hooks on point but the verse got weak lines
You let the game pimp you like some cheap ass hoes
But my rhymes will shine and expose you rap foes
See my pen will be the forge and my rhymes will be the torch
To guide you through the fake rap haze and reveal the frauds face
Thoughts fly through your towns at high pace
Competition get dazed from the styles I blaze
My deadly rhyme scrolls expand as time rolls
I can see through your thug disguise
Iíll inspect your soul
See Iím similar to a moll
Digging through the rhyme soil of these fake ass rappers
who claim they make the mic boil

give me some feedback ^^

09-18-2006, 02:12 PM
its ok...keep dropping

09-18-2006, 02:30 PM
Yeah big up's keep improving!

09-18-2006, 05:26 PM
thanks for the response.
If anyone could give me some advice...maybe point out my mistakes so that i can improve, it would be great.

09-18-2006, 08:08 PM
name change

10-03-2006, 10:33 PM
Yo this game is hard
Many fall of and loose their trail
But these sounds i display makes me able to prevail
My thoughts exhale and proceeds breathe life
To ressurect the mic from the radio hype
See i was blessed with the skill to provoke mass appeal
No longer will i conseal what i think and what i feel
Im destant to rise
Armed with words that are wise
in this dirty game where snakes are lurking in discuisse
But they better think twice before they enter
Cuz in the halls of the inventor
my rhymes is the center
Mcís they orbit
Trying to absorb it
But with the heat i transmite
I force them to forfit

The sounds of the fake poisons the grounds
And plague towns
Each line is entering the young oneís mind
Giving him the wrong sign
He resort to ways of crime
which helps breaking down the vine of life
These fake Mcís is itching me like lise
It makes my mindstate trife
Forcing me to grab the knife
And reverse these foul teachings
With the knowledge i be preaching
Mcís they be leeching
But my lyrical style will be the antidote
Which flows through my river of thoughts like a boat
Drowning those who wanna quote
And washing this dirty game up like soap

alittle shorter this time

10-05-2006, 06:06 PM
this is an ill drop, mad poetic. but the last couple bars are a wack closing. use the same lyrical passion you begin with to end it. otherwise, the verse was proper. keep dropping. peace

11-03-2006, 12:16 PM
new rhyme fresh from the bakery ^^

This cold world got us trapped within a cypha of pain
Where our minds catch stain from the sight of life drain
Your just a puppet in the game unable to change lane
To keep your brain sane you give the vine a heavy drag
Enemies moving in
Face consieled by a rag
Leaving victims
Not conserned about the families they tag
With the sting of life fall
See itís all an inspiration for these words i install
To break down the wall
Preventing your mind from reaching the next stage
And keeping the rage traped in your head like a cage
You release it on your own and die at young age
The knowledge that i crave make me rise like a sage
Revealing my insight just to shine bright
And bring light to these young minds caught up in the dark times
With my solid lines that strikes the session
Spreading to the masses in the form of a lesson
Making the lost rise from the insertion of a blessing

It seems this planet is the landing place for stars that stoped to shine
Our mind is in a state of primitive ancient time
Seeds tought in the way of the def dumb and blind
The lost worship an illusion
Waiting for a sign
To show where your spirit go
When the physical turn to gasses
Let individual wisdom outshine the lies of the masses
These heavy mind lashes is building a brainwashed breed
For ages religion only caused humanity to bleed
The teachers of this shit got their head filled with greed
Living large by making profit of the minds they decieve
But my drum will free the slave of the three 6 sum
Strictly exhaling truth when im emptying my loung
Broadcasting of my tombs causes freedom to the dumb

give me your thoughts

Bigot Hitman
11-03-2006, 03:23 PM
Your punch lines is hittin better than earlier, try to mix in some schemes to make it flow smoother, descent lyrics