PDA

View Full Version : I wrote this about 20 minutes ago (feedback a must)


White_Mouse
10-04-2006, 05:39 PM
I was thinking about how alot of religions today deny the ultimate truth that they preach throug theiractions so i came up with this today maybe i'll record it feedback is appreciated.

I write with ambition, while haters posses misguided suspicians/
and deny the truth like Pharacies when the Messiah had risen//
you don't want to see truth so with pride you deny it's existence/
and now i'm getting sickened, open your eyes see the signs and embrace them//
i write fire that frys my brain stem, a vision to change trends/
entire reformation, the rise of a nation, and exile the pagens//
pile the wisemen on slaveships, with their wives and thier children/
destruction of old...., leads to new ways of building//
i rap verses, against churches, pastors with wack sermons/
their bad surgeons that insert half truths spawned from half searches//
and christian parents, cause i think many have failed/
a child won't be saved by watching christian TV like "Veggie Tales"//
leave you impaled on a steeple, for all the people to see you/
try to find me for weeks and still teh search will continue//
i'm workin at venues, sellin my product, raps with a message/
and battle contenders, if i left your head on, then i was being generous//

Oh yea nad dont' think i haven't given feed cause i have Many time it's just i haven't been on in a minute.

Bigot Hitman
10-04-2006, 08:12 PM
I like the style and scheme...8/10, but can't tell much on what exactly its about.

oDoUoSoKo
10-04-2006, 08:15 PM
not bad

Lil' Ruger
10-04-2006, 08:18 PM
i agree wit da dead prez man. it flows but flows about what. if u wudn't have told me i might not have guessed it.

White_Mouse
10-04-2006, 10:25 PM
yea i could have been more specific about subjects but basically it's a bout rapping and religion. not matching subjects but i did it.

White_Mouse
10-05-2006, 09:10 PM
uppin for more feed

White_Mouse
10-07-2006, 07:10 AM
still uppin...bump

J.T.S.
10-07-2006, 06:26 PM
Yeah keep keepin' it live, fuck topics sometimes you gotta let the rhymes manifest themselves!

Mattlocka
10-08-2006, 06:09 PM
Nice one keeping with the time too.