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CorpsmanSen
11-21-2006, 12:09 AM
yo im in the US NAVY. im a hospital corpsman, and on my free time i just try to flow so here goes:

yo, my hazardous tactics bring a hellfire blastin it
my style take many minds to master it
one of the best of this planet
it waves twice through the water in the rice,
and its spiced, and its sliced
priced to the fullest
shined with my might
shot into the air, lit starlight starbright over the night

yo, shit gettin done without skill today
this is sen comin in, so get out the way
my spit will spray, turns the mic grey
test mad styles circlin worlds away
blastin these rhymes, step off when i shine
call the ghostbusters cuz you got slimed
slip it, stop it, lubed mic ya drop it
the amps of sound are supplied when i stock it
rip it, rock it, its my mic profit
you get frustrated cuz ya cant knock it
down, see you standin like a clown
i reverse yo smile to upside down
how!?, turn around, you lost yo rhyme?
dropped on the ground, too bad now its mine
a great find, checked out where i dwell
the lost and found for rejects of hell, or heaven
which way are you steppin?
yo lucks ran out if you got 11
stars,
murcury, venus, earth, mars,
got mad knowledge for all my bars

yo, this one i wrote on paper when i listened to the instrumental of the song "Street Corner" from "Think Differently Instrumentals" try to imagine or read or say the lyrics within in the song going by 4 beats in a measure, just so you can get an idea where im comin from.
here goes:

yo, when life gets frayed, theres a price to pay
struggles of life come, theres no round away
filled with all the pain, days filled with rain
minus the cats now, its filled with dog days
happiness in life, always being forgotten
the positive back down, when the fruits become rotten
always for a shame, someone gots the blame
i dream of the day, i board a getaway plane
words flow in shadows, and swarm like the sparrows
they watch from the distance, hid within the towers
in silence, i listen, they drain all my power
double snaked cadeauces, behind the night hours
i spit shine, my mind, now its the time
to show and prove, the buffin,
the shine of my prime
creation,
my thoughts swarm in circulation,
keep my mind off hatin, all the games they be playin
keep it to myself, i got a dream to live
my back is solid now, so im keepin it stiff.

now, ive only been tryin this for a little while, so i know its a little chopped if ya know what i mean, but criticism does help. heh...

Lil' Ruger
11-21-2006, 02:03 AM
"filled with all the pain, days filled with rain
minus the cats now, its filled with dog days..."

that was tight but that whole thing was very tight.

CorpsmanSen
11-21-2006, 03:21 AM
yo, this just came off my dome listenin to RZA's instrumental experience cd. the song was "Y'all Been Warned"
alright here it is:

shot in like bullets of chrome, stay alone
a crew aint got yo back, so go home
its my throne, S. E. N. raise'n the pens
my brain's filled with gems
you got ones, i got tens
of thousands of words, locked again
unlocked again, im not playin
its bogus
when you spit out mics
shaped like cobras
and stick you, with the poisonous venom bites
of slowness, its showbizz, and fame,
runnin the game, spit my tongue out
long elastic, like the flame, of torchin
its hot scorchin, my brain, holds the secrets of life
so yo eye be pokin in, go again
its yo turn to smoke again
boost yo mind up, hold it then
you get phazed back, cuz i spoke again
rip yo ass a new hole again
you aint my freind, i just work with you
youll never be seen again,
spell check yo pen again
you get backstabbed in yo own den
filled with thugs, bustin slugs
leave yo tongue shatterin
i stomped out the bugs
now they be splatterin, its corrossive acid
you bastard
put this in yo pipe, and blast it
style so wild, youll never master it
so can it, and ship it,
yo goods go to spoils when i rip it
the nastiest lyrics, i spit it
you aint feelin this, so get with it.

haha, i tried kinda ended phunky, haha peace...