View Full Version : first verse

07-19-2005, 02:01 AM
hey this is like my first one ever i couldnt sleep the other night so i just started writin at like 3 in the mornin. if you arent a fan of the Red Sox you might not get some of the lines. and i know theres a lot of Wu references but i intended that, its like a Red Sox, Wu tribute of sorts.

Top of the first now its just the beginning
Me against you for a full nine innings
Step up to the plate kid whaddya say?
Three strikes blown right by ya, rack-up another K
My wordplay, will have you on your knees beggin' please
But I be crushin' the ball out the park like Ortiz
You laugh?...thinkin' I'm full of hot gas
Watch me step up to the plate wit' my Hellz Wind Staff
Ya got GZA on the hill, and RZA behind the plate
INS at first, and Johnny Blaze at third base
I'm layin it down right now without a riddle
Ghost and Rae turnin' double plays up the middle
U-God and Masta Killa makin' baserunners yield
ODB, RIP, I'll take your place in center field
In the batters box I've never been struck out
My fans shout, go find your seat in the dugout
You be swingin' and missin more times then Bellhorn
While I'm smackin' game winnin' grand slams like Mo Vaughn...
On and on, kid the skills don't drop
Like I don't quit runnin' till I hit the backstop
Show me what ya got, I'm hittin' in the number four spot
Cuz my bat got pop, and my style is hot
Basically, I'm everythin' that your not
And I'm shootin to the top quicker then a Deck Dart
Billy Beane couldn't trade ya in a ten team deal
Rickey Henderson couldn't even teach ya how to steal
So listen up, cuz I'm only gonna say this one time
Forget baseball and rap, cuz you can't hit or rhyme

yeah i basically wrote it to rap while smokin with my friends while they drop beats. but tell me what ya think.

07-19-2005, 12:39 PM
Nice theme and wordplay.

No wonder you couldn't sleep while your friends were dropping beats... :)

07-19-2005, 05:13 PM
If this is your first ever I say keep scripting because this was cool but your only gonna get better...PEACE

Lyrical Genius
07-20-2005, 12:21 AM
thats my boy

07-20-2005, 09:41 AM
liked it alot

wordplay was brilliant

and u managed to transfer wu and baseball without overplayin the whole thing

Bless ,1

07-20-2005, 02:38 PM
thanks guys, thats encouraging.

07-21-2005, 02:54 AM
You should be more creative. And when you use reference to other famous people you should be careful. The verse had a limited flow (seemed to come back to were it started). You need to work on how you want to express and gain in your skill on verse.

PS: Keep posting