View Full Version : Here is an okay rhyme.

02-10-2007, 12:24 AM
When I throw my shit down
All others wanna frown/
My rhymes is like a loaded gun
So when a punk steps I have my fun/
When I'm done they are blown away
You can see it on they faces as plain as day/
I'm on the stage bein' admired
Meanwhile your rhymes are tired
The crowd decides like Donald Trump "Yo' Fired"/
After a time of silence
People resort to violence/
Tryin' to take me out
I know I'll survive with out a doubt/
Bitches so quick to grab they nines
This is the time when my blade mastery shines/
You wanna waste bullets like candy
to me that's fine and Dandy/
Barge in my door, shoutin' and more
I gotta throw my whore on the floor/
In the shadow, I have my blade
You don't know yet, but you is already made/
Close enough to smell your cologne
Me, as deadly as a corleone/
I slit your throught from ear to ear
Now sets in your true fear
That you'll lose everything that you hold dear/

Please post advice and comments.

02-10-2007, 01:32 AM
Its Pretty Good. But That Last Part.. The 3rd To Last.. I Just Need That One Word.. Then I Could Tell .. U ..

U Stay..in Upland.. ? Crazy.. Im Originally From L.a .. {bell Gardens.. } But The Past 10 Years On And Off {since The First Time } I Have Been Living. In Bloomington.. {7 Since The Last Time I Moved Back } Right Now .. Im In L.a. Though.. 4 School.. Im In Whittier.. Right Now.. But I Represent.. Bell Gardens.. Not Bloomington.. {bloomington.. Is Alright Though.. } But As An M C No.. Unless Im Sly Boogie.. Its Pretty Cool Though.. Like People Near. With The Same .. Love 4 Hip Hop.. Sick

U Got Something There.. Its Just How U C It.. All That Counts.

02-10-2007, 04:45 AM
Nobody knows my covered genious style that flows
Unknown but once it starts up it glows/
Some doubt these abilities of mine
They dull my shine/
You can drink my rhymes lke fine wine
I use my knowledge to keep others in line/
If they don't they feel the sword strike of my rhyme
By the time I'm done they ain't worth a dime/
It's like I sewed up their lip
Cuz' when I unleash my genious I make average people flip/
Walkin' through this land with a different perspective
To see this you don't need a detective/
Goin' through enemies like the sword of a shogun
No need to school novice punks as a form of fun/
I walk around with my identity behind cloak and veil
Make opponent's rhymes as slow as the mail/
Cuttin' down enimies rhymes til' they obtuse
Afterwards you'll find me chuckin' the deuce/
This one is my best.