View Full Version : Old School/New School rhyme.. in GZAs "Labels" style
02-24-2007, 12:31 PM
This is hip-hop GAME THEORY/
Sick of new bests yearly/ here to help them see clearly/
frontin MC's are READY TO DIE/ take back it back to the old school and RECAPTURE THE VIBE/
before fresh newbies claimed they could TOUCH THE SKY/
when they're just new to THE GAME/
Like DEAD PREZs/ 50 perCENT of whats said "Sound the same"/
like lipstick lezs/ cats are just OUT FOR FAME/ destroyin what legends built/
only reason you should "TILT/ YA HEAD BACK" is to look up at the "DEVILS SUN"/
our worlds burnin and you rhyme about how you "GOT YOURSELF A GUN"/
clever word play, hope you picked up on my BIG PUN/
its CURTAIN CALL/ time for you to retire/
no more "PLAYERS BALL"/ hip-hop PRODIGY-wannabe claimin he can "SPIT FIRE"/
what happened to Afrika Bambataa fillin bronx bball courts/ cats on the outside lookin "THROUGH THE WIRE"/
thinkin you thug coz you "FORT/ a MINOR"/hip-hops truely outta steam like a flat tire/
Just wrote this shit just then.. listening to labels and saw that other dudes thread rhyming about hip-pop songs.. thought id throw this up.. ill explain some of the shit.
GAME THEORY - The Roots classic LP
READY TO DIE - Self explanitory
RECAPTURE THE VIBE - Aussie hip-hop group song..
TOUCH THE SKY - Kanye West song..
THE GAME - Wannabe 2pac MC (playin that hes new to the game and claimin he owns west coast)
DEAD PREZ/"sound the same" - Hip-hop group..the lyrics are from their song "Hip-hop".. dope track!
50 perCENT - playin on 50 cent.
OUT FOR FAME - KRS-One song
TILT YA HEAD BACK - faggy nelly song
DEVILS SUN - playin on Big L's underground CLASSIC
GOT YOURSELF A GUN - Nas song
BIG PUN - MC
CURTAIN CALL - Whack eminem LP
PLAYERS BALL - Dope outkast song.. back in the day!
PRODIGY/SPIT FIRE - MC and his song..
THROUGH THE WIRE - Kanye Song
FORT a MINOR - Whack linkin park turned hip-hop group
Feedback? keep in mind just threw it together.. actually kinda like it, gonna work on it
02-25-2007, 12:06 AM
The lines/flow on this verse was real stretched and sumtimes sloppy. It was ok when it came to creativity, but when the flow is this off it really off sets everything else, punches don't land, metaphors sound weird, actually everthing sounds weird. If u can come this creative every verse u might be able to lay some sweet tracks though, but u gotten shorten and lengthen sum of ur lines to give it a realistic flow. 6.3/10
02-25-2007, 02:26 AM
Yeah exactly what I was thinking with the flow. But I was just writing as I thought of the shit, didn't sit and try to work it out.. straight from the dome. I liked the idea though, so thought I'd post/get some feedback and work on it..
Cheers for the feedback! gonna work on it now.. let us know what you think once ive thought about it
And yer.. only been writing for a month at max, still learning
02-25-2007, 02:11 PM
every GANGSTARR/ thinks he has "skills" these days/
hip-hops goin nowhere like a parked car/ predictable like sitcom replays/
takin it back to THE ROOTS/you'll think your "minds playin tricks"/
everyone talks even the mutes/spit shit only understood by the ESOTERICs/
Cause this real hip-hop/understood by those with COMMON SENSE/
want this shit ta stop/clearing out impurities like burnin incense/
calmin to be tough/ you'll find "nowhere to run, nowhere to hide"/
call your bluff/my skills with the mic been certified/to wreck/
you best "protect ya neck"/before i make you "INSPECT DA DECK"/
mic skills are HI-TEK/prove you're fraud like you wrote a bad cheque/
with my superior interlect/damn near perfect/you best learn to respect/
me/known PUBLIC ENEMY/every week i commit another felony/
got police tellin me/this is a raid/
just a dope MC/tryina get PAID/ IN FULL/
pushin my illigit CD/and gettin laid/ in school/
since when is gettin nookie/a crime?/other countries you invade/ you fool/
he was a rookie/took a look at the dyme/and sprayed/ his drool/
all over her pussy/seen it was prime/and came/like a mule/
i told him to "back da fuck up" and he tried the bribe/
for a some action off my future bride/
took his money made sure the bitch was tied/
once he finished the ride/blew out his brains and made it look like a "suicide"/
blood everywhere/so i decide/
to be aware/ and glide outside/
not before i say a prayer/for my sins in god i can confide/
Fuck. that shit got off track towards the end, still using lots of song names/groups/MCs and shit so put it up. just wrote that then as well, really should sit down with all my rhymes and come up with one good one. some strong moments, some weak ones.
tried changing up styles too.. without mention of how off track it got, feedback? am i improving? where do i need to improve? strengths? weaknesses? ideas?
what you are trying to do is hard in the first place
youre right - it does seem to fall off toward the end
id be interested to see what happens when you just let loose
after i heard GZA rock this style the first time - i never been too interested in it
its clever but a lot of times it just wrecks the flow or makes the plot sound wack
i try it myself from time to time but i always end up tearing the paper up and throwing it out
02-26-2007, 02:19 AM
I'll cut loose on another rhyme and show you cats what i can do.
i just like trying different styles.. like J-Live on his "Mcs" track second verse. starts every rhyme off with a word beggining with M, next word begins with C and just rocks that. shit takes TALENT.
cheers for the feedback!
02-26-2007, 08:24 AM
This aint cutting loose, tried telling a story haha.. promise next one ill just let rip with random non-true shit.
I had a paranoid psychosis a while back, so I'm flippin a lot of the time.. come up with the craziest ways people are trying to kill me, ways they find me, and all my mates/family being in on it. This is just a story about me flippin one time, some of its true, with the ex and me thinkin boys were breakin in.
Chillin on the couch watchin LA Confidential/
Get a call from an ex, surely it's coincidental/
bitch/ says shes horny/
shit/ starts fuckin with the mental/
asks me to go to my room, says its more sentimental/
I walk out the front and peep around/i listenin for any sound/
she rolled wit boys that be crowned/
so the shit i was thinkin was too profound/
ask her why she callin/ive moved on/
and she starts stallin/tellin me to have a bong/
minds appaling/start thinkin its one big con/
she says she recallin/times that are gone/
when i hear a phone that aint mine/
thinkin im blessed for hearin this sign/I run to the door and grip my nine/
say "fuck you bitch for lyin"/as i feel a tingle up my spine/
been waitin 4 years for this day/so i was prepared to slay/any motherfucker that steps my way/
step in my crib and you become prey/I fire 4 shots n ask if they wanna play/
when i hear a cry from the hallway/step out and shit blew me away/
there my brother lay/
1 to his neck and 3 to the chest/
my head was a mess/thinkin i was blessed/when i was really possessed/
now i live with the spirits that haunt me/continually taunt me/
this aint no flauntin/its a story for ya warnin/
now i awake every mornin/ with mournin/
02-26-2007, 08:59 AM
This is just random rambling, turned into a bit of a battle track haha.. actually like the start, raped the one sound for a bit. if you dont understand any of the words look em up, adjective, noun and verb meanings. PS: Big L was my fav emcee, not baggin..
ive sown the seed into every kids mental/
now they're programmed to be detrimental/
takin back the world like it was a rental/
my army's intercontinental/
if your kids tempermental/ and bumpin my track/
its not coincidental/, i teach him to attack/
n the basic fundementals/, like not to do crack/
my soldiers are incremental/, worlds thoughts ill tack/
my words cause elemental/, harm/
fuck up the environmental/, cause for alarm/
none of its accidental/, like arabs choppin off arms/
by the time im done my legend be monumental/
if I make money it’s just incidental/
my plans to bring down the governmental/ regime/
end the brainwashing machine/
the world controlled by cream/
my plans be extreme/to some/
im really supreme/rest of you is just dumb/
my master scheme/to make me number one/
hear the scream/when I spit fire with my tongue/
im untouchable like a nun/
you think you are before I pull a gun/n make you a mural like big pun/
one last thing to say before im done/
Big L was just a saint/im the real devils son/
The rest of you emcees be restraint/my time has begun/
vBulletin® v3.8.4, Copyright ©2000-2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.