PDA

View Full Version : Tha First Shot


Sun Supreme
03-01-2007, 07:30 PM
Im new to tha forum and I have never done this before. I have been writin rhymes for about 8 years but I have never exposed my rhymes to where they could receive so much criticism. I will continue to post regardless of the feedback. Alot of what I will post is years old but if its hot its hot regardless of how old it is. OK, Ima shut up now. Peep dis!


Its too real
what niggaz is doin for mils
few feel guilt 'bout baggin cracks or blastin da steel
got blocks like battlefields
or the jungle, cuz muthafuckas hunters jus catchin a meal
homin in on dem rat squeals,
and snake hisses, cuz they hate niggaz that tattle tell
you might as well snooze wit the fish
nowadays niggaz'll boot in ya crib, shoot up ya bitch
throw the tool to ya lips
lookin for dem 22 bricks that u movin wit
down to the food in the fridge
niggaz hungary for more
and they won't starve before they take yours
or start choppin on plates and saucers
got em feelin like entreprenures
movin they product
the hottest shit you can't cop in the stores
its all gravy till the cops involved, one day u get a knock at the door
its the PD, now do u flee or rocket it off
the tv cameras outside so if u die ya momma saw
but ya niggaz love the drama don't chu
it's all fun and games till somebody spill ya brains or poke u

Bigot Hitman
03-01-2007, 08:29 PM
I'll drop sum real feed back on this later

Bigot Hitman
03-01-2007, 10:26 PM
The flow on this piece was straight, i like the flow on the real, you had some half-way new concpets in it, so good job on the creatvity, the multies were shakey, but they don't have to be perfect to sound good over audio anyways so keep postin up. overall-7.5/10

p.s. u write like sheek louch alittle