PDA

View Full Version : Child Abuse Vs Discipline


MsRzaRecTaH
03-02-2007, 11:42 AM
Here we go.. another HOT topic....
another debate...


Let me break it down real quick.......

As a child.. I was abused; mentally and physically.
Well many of my friends say I was tortured, some of the things that
I went through are very graphic..

Heres a true life even story from yours truly:
I am the oldest of 7, when I was 9/10 years old I had my left arm broken.
This is how it went down. I woke in the morning to get ready for school.
My little brother at that time was barely 1, so he was learning how to walk.
Well somehow he managed to push the tv stand and the tv fell, the noise
woke up my stepmom and she grabbed my brother put him in his crib and
started whopping on me.. Now lets see.... she got real pissed off because
the "noise" woke her up and she started yelling at me saying that I should
of been paying more attention to what he was doing, rather than me getting ready to go to school. She grabbed hangers, belts and the broom
and started beating on my left arm......
I guess that wasnt enough, so she went downstairs to the basement
and grabbed a stick of wood.. ( my dad was building stairs to go to the basement of our house) and starting whooping my ass with it...
that stick of wood had nails , and well I got hit in the face with it real hard, thus why the reason I have a scar on the bottom of my chin.
After she was done beating my ass, I went to school.... crying..
and not realizing that I was bleeding as well.


I got to the cafeteria and laid my head down, crying in pain....
my friend Debbie at that time noticed that, and asked me what was wrong
when I lifted my face.. she saw my face bruised up.. and I could not move
my arm.... well I never had anything broken before so I was not aware
of what signs I was suppose to look for..


Question?

Did I deserve that? No! Was that a way of disciplining me? NO?
Was that an act of pure hate towards me? YES! Was I abused? YES!



Now I am about to be 31, I have two beautiful boys...
and I have been on my own for almost 4 years now.. their father is not
really involved with their life, so it is hard for me at times...



If I smack them on their hand is that discipline?
If when they learn to say a curse word and I put soap in their mouth
is that abuse?

yes I put soap in their little mouths before... and believe me
that have not cursed again.......
(my mom be cursing too much, she be pissing me off not realizing that the kids pick up real fast)



Here is the real question:

What is the difference between disciplining a child versus abusing a child?


Thoughts please!!!

Gawd
03-02-2007, 12:16 PM
you were abused.

UNCLE RUCKUS
03-02-2007, 12:30 PM
Here we go.. another HOT topic....
another debate...


Let me break it down real quick.......

As a child.. I was abused; mentally and physically.
Well many of my friends say I was tortured, some of the things that
I went through are very graphic..

Heres a true life even story from yours truly:
I am the oldest of 7, when I was 9/10 years old I had my left arm broken.
This is how it went down. I woke in the morning to get ready for school.
My little brother at that time was barely 1, so he was learning how to walk.
Well somehow he managed to push the tv stand and the tv fell, the noise
woke up my stepmom and she grabbed my brother put him in his crib and
started whopping on me.. Now lets see.... she got real pissed off because
the "noise" woke her up and she started yelling at me saying that I should
of been paying more attention to what he was doing, rather than me getting ready to go to school. She grabbed hangers, belts and the broom
and started beating on my left arm......
I guess that wasnt enough, so she went downstairs to the basement
and grabbed a stick of wood.. ( my dad was building stairs to go to the basement of our house) and starting whooping my ass with it...
that stick of wood had nails , and well I got hit in the face with it real hard, thus why the reason I have a scar on the bottom of my chin.
After she was done beating my ass, I went to school.... crying..
and not realizing that I was bleeding as well.


I got to the cafeteria and laid my head down, crying in pain....
my friend Debbie at that time noticed that, and asked me what was wrong
when I lifted my face.. she saw my face bruised up.. and I could not move
my arm.... well I never had anything broken before so I was not aware
of what signs I was suppose to look for..


Question?

Did I deserve that? No! Was that a way of disciplining me? NO?
Was that an act of pure hate towards me? YES! Was I abused? YES!



Now I am about to be 31, I have two beautiful boys...
and I have been on my own for almost 4 years now.. their father is not
really involved with their life, so it is hard for me at times...



If I smack them on their hand is that discipline?
If when they learn to say a curse word and I put soap in their mouth
is that abuse?

yes I put soap in their little mouths before... and believe me
that have not cursed again.......
(my mom be cursing too much, she be pissing me off not realizing that the kids pick up real fast)



Here is the real question:

What is the difference between disciplining a child versus abusing a child?


Thoughts please!!!

Thats real horrible that happened to you, Im sorry to hear that. This is a touchy subject though. If you yourself keep cool and realize that youre dealing with developing people and not adults than I dont think anyone could possibly hurt a little child. But I have been in situations were the child gets intorable and deserves a spanking. And thats ok as long as its in a controlled atmosphere and you are not hitting the kid out of an emotion. The kid will absorb everything you do so if you get out of control and snap they will pick that up. But I do think a spanking can be called for yes and even as parents were still human and can lose our temper. But it is never right to lash at someone out of anger. I dont think putting soap in your childs mouth will effect them negatively; sense it is clear you are a good mother and they will love you for that
Peace

Ghost In The 'Lac
03-02-2007, 12:34 PM
Theres a big difference between getting the shit beaten out of you with a wooden stick with nails, and just getting a lil whoopin to keep you on your toes, when your a kid, a small slap that doesnt REALLY hurt, seems like a big deal and something you dont want to happen

parents not disciplining their kids = downfall of society

AcidPhosphate69
03-02-2007, 12:36 PM
Abuse is taking it overboard. I got beat on a couple times but I usually deserved it. I went through a lot of verbal avuse from my stepdad at a very youngg age like telling me I'm worthless and shit so that sorta fucked up my head for a long time. That shit changed when I got to be older and I let him know I wouldn't take him putting me and my mother down anymore. Long story short, I kicked the shit out of him and I guess he realized he can't do that shit. Now he's a chill dude and he doesn't fuck with my mother anymore.

I think discipline is necessary but on the same hand, you have to nuture your child and let that child know that he/she is loved as well. Like, slapping on the wrists isn't abuse cuz they gotta learn but I think that kind of stuff should NEVER be a vent for your own anger.

WARPATH
03-02-2007, 12:38 PM
In my opinion,

Abuse is anything physical, or mental, that you do to your child.

Example, yelling and spanking, are abusive actions.

I think all parents lose their temper somtimes, I'm guilty for spanking and yelling at my kids.

I don't think it makes them behave more, I just think I need to be a better parent. So somtimes I bite my tongue, or just leave the room when they start causing ruckus.

Why should children be the ones yelled at or hit, when they just mirror the enviroment that they are raised in? When my kids act up, I look at myself and try and modify my own behavior.

MsRzaRecTaH
03-02-2007, 12:43 PM
you were abused.


mhmm thats one story out of hundreds......
thanks ed

Thats real horrible that happened to you, Im sorry to hear that. This is a touchy subject though. If you yourself keep cool and realize that youre dealing with developing people and not adults than I dont think anyone could possibly hurt a little child. But I have been in situations were the child gets intorable and deserves a spanking. And thats ok as long as its in a controlled atmosphere and you are not hitting the kid out of an emotion. The kid will absorb everything you do so if you get out of control and snap they will pick that up. But I do think a spanking can be called for yes and even as parents were still human and can lose our temper. But it is never right to lash at someone out of anger. I dont think putting soap in your childs mouth will effect them negatively; sense it is clear you are a good mother and they will love you for that
Peace

well they do know that if they say something bad, they are going to get treated... I hear it when they talk to amongst themselves.. if they get into a little fight and one says a bad word.. one of the boys well tell the other one that if I hear it... that he will get soap in his mouth.. so they dont repeat it...
but I mean I tell them everyday that I love them, I mean I wish U could see their faces when I hug them and give them kisses.. they call me momdad...
they know that I have to be tough on them and I know that I am raising
MEN.. they kind of understand why they have to be up at 6 am everyday..
and they know that if I dont go to work there will be no place for them to live and I wont be able to buy them their toys.. but they do get their time outs once in a while and their videogames taken away when they dont behave....
so I guess that would be discipline??

WARPATH
03-02-2007, 12:48 PM
mhmm thats one story out of hundreds......
thanks ed



well they do know that if they say something bad, they are going to get treated... I hear it when they talk to amongst themselves.. if they get into a little fight and one says a bad word.. one of the boys well tell the other one that if I hear it... that he will get soap in his mouth.. so they dont repeat it...
but I mean I tell them everyday that I love them, I mean I wish U could see their faces when I hug them and give them kisses.. they call me momdad...
they know that I have to be tough on them and I know that I am raising
MEN.. they kind of understand why they have to be up at 6 am everyday..
and they know that if I dont go to work there will be no place for them to live and I wont be able to buy them their toys.. but they do get their time outs once in a while and their videogames taken away when they dont behave....
so I guess that would be discipline??

I take away the video games when my older kids are bad, that's how I disipline the kids. They don't listen, then there's no chucky cheeze. My
kids are all under 9.

But that soap shit, that's bad. You gotta get people around your house to quit cussing, because they think it's normal. They want to be like adults in some ways. That's what I think anyways.

UNCLE RUCKUS
03-02-2007, 01:08 PM
mhmm thats one story out of hundreds......
thanks ed



well they do know that if they say something bad, they are going to get treated... I hear it when they talk to amongst themselves.. if they get into a little fight and one says a bad word.. one of the boys well tell the other one that if I hear it... that he will get soap in his mouth.. so they dont repeat it...
but I mean I tell them everyday that I love them, I mean I wish U could see their faces when I hug them and give them kisses.. they call me momdad...
they know that I have to be tough on them and I know that I am raising
MEN.. they kind of understand why they have to be up at 6 am everyday..
and they know that if I dont go to work there will be no place for them to live and I wont be able to buy them their toys.. but they do get their time outs once in a while and their videogames taken away when they dont behave....
so I guess that would be discipline??

Well you are doing your best and thats what counts. You had a cruel woman in your house growing up and you can tell between good and poor parenting. We can only learn from our hardships and Im sure youve learned how not to be. They will be alright as long that love you have for them is there.

LHX
03-02-2007, 01:09 PM
there is too much abuse going on in general right now

kids are the most vulnerable humans because they are physically small, weak, and impressionable


at this point tho - anything on this planet that can be abused is being abused

whether it is obvious or not



the opposite of abusing something is nurturing something
so - if you arent seeking to nurture things (including relationships), you are probably abusing them

snapple
03-02-2007, 01:47 PM
me and my peoples talk about this ALL the time. if your child flinches when you go near them then it's straight up abuse. your child should never ever be scared of you. but they need to know when youre not playing. they need to get wooped sometime....shit not by pieces of wood or nothing you got hands...wooden spoon....and if necessary when they get a little older the belt. i have many personal stories about this but i dont feel like sharing them. but your children need to be disiplined. here is what a lot of people seem to forget. when your child does good you really gotta let him know hes doing good. you cant just ride on them when they fuck up and never give them props and nurture them and be affectionate. you gotta have a balance feel me?

Gawd
03-02-2007, 02:08 PM
parents not disciplining their kids = downfall of society

wisest thing you have evar said.

courts ont allow parents to spank because now the children can sue or if a nosey parent sees you could get visted by Child Services etc.

MsRzaRecTaH
03-02-2007, 02:30 PM
wisest thing you have evar said.

courts ont allow parents to spank because now the children can sue or if a nosey parent sees you could get visted by Child Services etc.

Really?? I remember my girl growing up.. she used to call Family Services on her own mother... but she wasnt getting beat up or anything though.. I think she did it cause she hated her mom.. of course we were always in disagreement when it came down to that topic...

Prolifical ENG
03-02-2007, 02:55 PM
I guess that is one thing about when discipline becomes child abuse.

Moreover I'm not a parent but it might be just as bad if you are accused of child abuse and in fact you haven't abused your kids.

Happened to my brother....the officer suspected my sister-in-law was in an abusive marriage too and the officer tried aggressively to convince her to leave my brother when she repeatedly said there was nothing wrong.

Tito
03-02-2007, 03:09 PM
If I Had A Choice.. To Have A Baby's Momma .. Like Who? It Would Be U.. > With Respect And Seriousness To This Matter..

I Dont Know.. I Think It Was Wrong.. About Ur Whooping. , I Think People.. Have To Discipline Children At Appropriate Times.. I Dont Know.. Im Not A Father Yet.. So Let My Experience Speak .

AcidPhosphate69
03-02-2007, 06:56 PM
It sounds a little stupid but kids are like really fucking smart dogs. They have to know you're in charge or they can get wild. They have to know that they're loved and that they can do anything. On the other hand, they have to know when they do something wrong and what was wrong about what they did.

the silencer
03-02-2007, 07:21 PM
there is too much abuse going on in general right now

kids are the most vulnerable humans because they are physically small, weak, and impressionable


at this point tho - anything on this planet that can be abused is being abused

whether it is obvious or not



the opposite of abusing something is nurturing something
so - if you arent seeking to nurture things (including relationships), you are probably abusing them
u put it beautifully...

a friend of mine and his wife recently had a baby (not even 3 weeks ago) and ive been around there house a couple times since they had him and i realize how truly weak, and defenseless a young human being is..

i started thinkin about how a young child growin up should be properly nurtured and cared for not just physically (feeding him, letting him sleep, whatever) but also mentally....like i'm willing to bet that the amount of parents who READ to there kids has dropped alot the last 50 years or so because of television...

dont get me wrong, i think young babies learn alot from watching things on television but to be read to, even when they baby has no idea what is being said, is an exercise in listening skills and eventually it promotes the use of imagination...

LHX
03-02-2007, 07:34 PM
when you neglect things or treat them bad, they go rotten

mismanagement of children
treat a garden bad and it doesnt produce - dies
mismanagement of a company - bankrupt - it folds
mismanagement of a country - poverty, recession, disease
mismanagement of a internet forum - empty
abuse your computer - it slows down or worse

all these things are connected

Godbrother
03-02-2007, 08:34 PM
Here is the real question:

What is the difference between disciplining a child versus abusing a child?

Discipline is CONTROL.........Abuse is WRECKLESS

Keeping in the content of your kids, Discipline can be good or bad based on how you install or imply it to your kids
Example of bad discipline is PRISION

Example of good discipline is morals, so the child can determine right from wrong.

LHX
03-02-2007, 08:43 PM
an example of the worst discipline is faulty morals

it is a fine line to encourage a child to be open-minded without being a idiot


morals need to be questioned, but not in a self-destructive way



experience is still the best teacher



most people i know who have any substance to their character have been victims of abuse at some point

what does that mean?

thats a tough scenario to make sense out of

Sexy Jasper
03-02-2007, 08:54 PM
Here we go.. another HOT topic....
another debate...


Let me break it down real quick.......

As a child.. I was abused; mentally and physically.
Well many of my friends say I was tortured, some of the things that
I went through are very graphic..

Heres a true life even story from yours truly:
I am the oldest of 7, when I was 9/10 years old I had my left arm broken.
This is how it went down. I woke in the morning to get ready for school.
My little brother at that time was barely 1, so he was learning how to walk.
Well somehow he managed to push the tv stand and the tv fell, the noise
woke up my stepmom and she grabbed my brother put him in his crib and
started whopping on me.. Now lets see.... she got real pissed off because
the "noise" woke her up and she started yelling at me saying that I should
of been paying more attention to what he was doing, rather than me getting ready to go to school. She grabbed hangers, belts and the broom
and started beating on my left arm......
I guess that wasnt enough, so she went downstairs to the basement
and grabbed a stick of wood.. ( my dad was building stairs to go to the basement of our house) and starting whooping my ass with it...
that stick of wood had nails , and well I got hit in the face with it real hard, thus why the reason I have a scar on the bottom of my chin.
After she was done beating my ass, I went to school.... crying..
and not realizing that I was bleeding as well.


I got to the cafeteria and laid my head down, crying in pain....
my friend Debbie at that time noticed that, and asked me what was wrong
when I lifted my face.. she saw my face bruised up.. and I could not move
my arm.... well I never had anything broken before so I was not aware
of what signs I was suppose to look for..


Question?

Did I deserve that? No! Was that a way of disciplining me? NO?
Was that an act of pure hate towards me? YES! Was I abused? YES!



Now I am about to be 31, I have two beautiful boys...
and I have been on my own for almost 4 years now.. their father is not
really involved with their life, so it is hard for me at times...



If I smack them on their hand is that discipline?
If when they learn to say a curse word and I put soap in their mouth
is that abuse?

yes I put soap in their little mouths before... and believe me
that have not cursed again.......
(my mom be cursing too much, she be pissing me off not realizing that the kids pick up real fast)



Here is the real question:

What is the difference between disciplining a child versus abusing a child?


Thoughts please!!!Sorry to hear that.

Physical abuse should be your last resort. That's all I have to say.

Godbrother
03-02-2007, 09:12 PM
an example of the worst discipline is faulty morals

Faulty morals in a her kids perspective can come from FAULTY PARENTS, teachings, etc

experience is still the best teacher

Yes I agree, only when children are able to stand on there own

until then like they say monkey see, monkey DO

Godbrother
03-02-2007, 09:23 PM
LHX

Lets hope that MsRzaRecTaH is doing a wonderful job and I'm not trying to discredit you MsRzaRecTaH

LHX
03-02-2007, 09:57 PM
LHX

Lets hope that MsRzaRecTaH is doing a wonderful job and I'm not trying to discredit you MsRzaRecTaH
true indeed

from my experience - people who seek to discuss these matters are generally heading in the right direction

respect to LadyRectah
- it always takes courage to put oneself up to scrutiny


Peace Godbrother

Lil' Ruger
03-02-2007, 11:11 PM
Abuse is taking it overboard. I got beat on a couple times but I usually deserved it. I went through a lot of verbal avuse from my stepdad at a very youngg age like telling me I'm worthless and shit so that sorta fucked up my head for a long time. That shit changed when I got to be older and I let him know I wouldn't take him putting me and my mother down anymore. Long story short, I kicked the shit out of him and I guess he realized he can't do that shit. Now he's a chill dude and he doesn't fuck with my mother anymore.

I think discipline is necessary but on the same hand, you have to nuture your child and let that child know that he/she is loved as well. Like, slapping on the wrists isn't abuse cuz they gotta learn but I think that kind of stuff should NEVER be a vent for your own anger.

c/s my step dad took it over board he was VERY big and picked me up by my leg now realize i am very big for my age and whipped me with a belt for about 10 minutes yea i got horrible bruises but he's not living wit my fam anymore. cuz i-i-i tell him how it is.

and my sister got beat by her aunt at a young age for lil shit like not knowing her ABC's and she was VERY VERY young. but her aunt was also abused and raped as a child tho.

adedwutang
03-03-2007, 01:26 AM
wen i was yunger my dad hit me wit a 2x4 cuz i was kiddin around 2 much wit my cuzins, i learned my lesson. he smacks me around wen i do things wrong and thinks i need improvement. theres nothing wrong with that, it made me a better person. not spoiled like most kids today. but there is a line that u cross wen u start beatin up kids for no reason. as long as they understand the reason then they shuldnt be complaining. dont fuck up next time and u wont get ur ass beat. simple as that.

Frontal Lobotomy
03-03-2007, 04:54 AM
There's a problem in defining whats reasonable when it comes to disciplining a child. The examples thrown forward of times when things have gone overboard are clearly on the lines of abuse, but there's still an issue on what we can call reasonable force. A clout round the head for one, is getting the belt out for another.

RAMESH
03-03-2007, 06:03 PM
Here we go.. another HOT topic....
another debate...


Let me break it down real quick.......

As a child.. I was abused; mentally and physically.
Well many of my friends say I was tortured, some of the things that
I went through are very graphic..

Heres a true life even story from yours truly:
I am the oldest of 7, when I was 9/10 years old I had my left arm broken.
This is how it went down. I woke in the morning to get ready for school.
My little brother at that time was barely 1, so he was learning how to walk.
Well somehow he managed to push the tv stand and the tv fell, the noise
woke up my stepmom and she grabbed my brother put him in his crib and
started whopping on me.. Now lets see.... she got real pissed off because
the "noise" woke her up and she started yelling at me saying that I should
of been paying more attention to what he was doing, rather than me getting ready to go to school. She grabbed hangers, belts and the broom
and started beating on my left arm......
I guess that wasnt enough, so she went downstairs to the basement
and grabbed a stick of wood.. ( my dad was building stairs to go to the basement of our house) and starting whooping my ass with it...
that stick of wood had nails , and well I got hit in the face with it real hard, thus why the reason I have a scar on the bottom of my chin.
After she was done beating my ass, I went to school.... crying..
and not realizing that I was bleeding as well.


I got to the cafeteria and laid my head down, crying in pain....
my friend Debbie at that time noticed that, and asked me what was wrong
when I lifted my face.. she saw my face bruised up.. and I could not move
my arm.... well I never had anything broken before so I was not aware
of what signs I was suppose to look for..


Question?

Did I deserve that? No! Was that a way of disciplining me? NO?
Was that an act of pure hate towards me? YES! Was I abused? YES!



Now I am about to be 31, I have two beautiful boys...
and I have been on my own for almost 4 years now.. their father is not
really involved with their life, so it is hard for me at times...



If I smack them on their hand is that discipline?
If when they learn to say a curse word and I put soap in their mouth
is that abuse?

yes I put soap in their little mouths before... and believe me
that have not cursed again.......
(my mom be cursing too much, she be pissing me off not realizing that the kids pick up real fast)



Here is the real question:

What is the difference between disciplining a child versus abusing a child?


Thoughts please!!!
it's not good to hit a child on the top part of his hands because the vains is sensative & if you hit hard there is a possability u can burst those vains
somtimes children beg for a hiding somtime just for attention but it must be the last resort
what i do is i try & speak if it doesn't work then i punish by saying go stand in the corner
i don't send my son to his room because i don't want him to look at his room in a bad way if that doesn't work i hit him on his bum with my hand but he is small so i only hit him hard enough so he will understand & only as a last resort
my son is almost 3 & already he got respect & disipline he is with me or with my wife all the time & when he is not he is with my wifes sister or her mother it's a good way to start his foundation
my son has picked up swear words from me but i got that out of him without hitting him it did take a whille to let him understand that it is wrong & watch my mouth
it is hard for a women to raise a man when i lost my dad my mother couldn't control me even when i lost her only years afterwards i started taking her advise
the big problem with kids these days is that parents work & it's the outside influence that causes problems the only way to solve that is through good comuniction with your child & be very very carefull who is around your child

Esquire
03-03-2007, 06:17 PM
Yo my thought's go out to you man, if it were me i would have waited till i was older and then broken both her arm's. Sound's abit harsh but some ppl deserve to suffer, bitch i say.

Gawd
03-03-2007, 06:39 PM
children need to have their butts swatted now and again. keeps them in line. words are not always enough.

Frontal Lobotomy
03-03-2007, 06:40 PM
The shame of it all is that there are no doubt a majority of people who hate their step-parents. Like 70% of child abuse is caused by a stepmum/dad

Gawd
03-03-2007, 07:00 PM
step dads and moms should only use verbal dicsipline. only blood parents should touch the child.

Frontal Lobotomy
03-03-2007, 07:21 PM
Yeah man, definately. I read a study on this sort a thing, and like step parents will only abuse the step child, not any children produced in the new marriage.

AcidPhosphate69
03-03-2007, 07:56 PM
My stepdad wasn't really physical that often but the shit he would say was the worst. He used to yell at my mother real bad over nothing all the time. I mean, as a little kid...you're getting yelled and made to feel like a big piece of shit and you watch this guy make your mother cry all the time...shit was hard and I still have problems from that shit. That's why to this day, I've flipped out and fought dudes for yelling at females. It just sparks something in my head.

But that leads me to the words thing. Even with verbal discipline...there is a line that can be crossed. I think putting the kid down and calling him stupid and shit is real bad for youngins. I dunno, verbal or physical discipline and be abuse if taken too far.

Frontal Lobotomy
03-03-2007, 08:12 PM
Mental abuse leaves scars that don't show, and they can take longer to heal.

MsRzaRecTaH
03-03-2007, 09:56 PM
Yo thanks all for the feedback I really appreciate it.... in my eyes I know that I am trying to be the best parent to my kids, and its hard.. its really hard...

Marc051
03-04-2007, 07:35 AM
There's a fine line between discipline and abuse. I think physical punishment is only necessary when all other alternatives have not worked like verbal warnings, time-outs, etc. Granted we all lose our patience and may immediately resort to physical punishment. However, I believe that if it's constant as in your case, Teresa, then I would say it is definitely abuse oppossed to discipline. When I was a child I was hit and although i may have deserved it at times, i think my parents were out of line. It is easy to tell the difference between a spanking and a beating.

Urban_Journalz
03-04-2007, 11:36 PM
Theres a big difference between getting the shit beaten out of you with a wooden stick with nails, and just getting a lil whoopin to keep you on your toes, when your a kid, a small slap that doesnt REALLY hurt, seems like a big deal and something you dont want to happen

parents not disciplining their kids = downfall of society

Truer words, never spoken.

A child has to know right from wrong. If the child goes undisciplned, then they'll grow up not knowing right from wrong and that's dangerous.

Every time I got an ass whippin' comin' along, I deserved it and I knew I did. It is also up to the parent to comfort the child once the pain has settled. Tell them why it was done to them and let them know that you love them and if you didn't love them, you wouldn't have done it. This let's them also know what tough love is. If a child of mine curses, their gettin' popped. Where I pop 'em depends on how old they are. If they do something really bad, like stealing or attacking a teacher, oh yes, I'm breakin' out the leather strap. Everyone I know has said the same thing I have. We're glad our mothers weren't to be f**ked with, because we respect them for the way they raised us when we look at the foul and unruly kids of today.

Abuse is something completely different and anyone that abuses a child is wrong. Ms. Rectah, I sympathize with you and I'm glad you're not as emotionally scarred as some others.

Peace

MsRzaRecTaH
03-04-2007, 11:51 PM
Yo thanks much.. I dont usually share things like these to strangers. . but its reality.. I mean and thats just one of the many stories that I have.. I can write books about how it felt not being loved and being abused both mentally and physically. It was harsh but I overcame it.
Growing up I remembered a promise that I made to self.. not to ever treat my kids that way... they do get out of line at times.. and I know they are in daycare and learn things from other kids.. and I tell make them understand they cant be doing what every kid is doing...


I had a friend who was being abused by his stepfather and he killed himself...
thats one of the many worst sad experiences that I seen, felt.. in my life....
I tried killing myself too, when I was younger.. only because I couldnt take it no more.. but I decided to fight back..

RAMESH
03-05-2007, 04:40 PM
some of us are evil it rushes through you all the pain that turns to anger the hate it's tormenting you all the time anything can make you explode in this state you are capable of anything the evil in you is so bad that the only way you can release it is to hurt or even kill to get that out of your system but it's only a tempory fix it's very difficult to control

BRASSKNUCKLED PAI MEI
03-05-2007, 05:53 PM
Now I am about to be 31, I have two beautiful boys...
and I have been on my own for almost 4 years now.. their father is not
really involved with their life, so it is hard for me at times...



If I smack them on their hand is that discipline?
I would not condone even smacking your child...Children are so smart just talking to them and having them ask youthe right question and you asking them questions about why the should or should not do things works best.
Example: Yesterday, we were all sitting down at the dinner table and Amani began to poke her brother with her fork. Karla warned her then took the fork from Amani after she poked Jeremiah. Amani was upset and did not want to eat her food. Karla started to yell and I gave her a look then she stopped. Amani was under a chair whining. I waited and then asked her in a calm voice what was she doing? she replied I'm under the chair. I asked her why she wasn't eating? Amani replied because Momma took my fork. I asked her why? she said because and she started to cry. I asked her again why was her fork taken? Amani replied becasue I poked Jeremiah. I then said to her you can not poke Jeremiah he is not your food. Amani said I can use a spoon. So she returned to the table and ate her food no crying no yelling no hitting and no hurt feelings its all about communicating.
If when they learn to say a curse word and I put soap in their mouth
is that abuse? No, its not abuse but I would refrain from cursing in front of them the best way to discipline your child is by having self discipline. If you need to do it be sure to use nasty tasting soap.

yes I put soap in their little mouths before... and believe me
that have not cursed again.......
(my mom be cursing too much, she be pissing me off not realizing that the kids pick up real fast)



Here is the real question:

What is the difference between disciplining a child versus abusing a child?
Disciplining a child is communicating to them what you expect from them, setting standards and ofcoiurse telling them you love them after the talk.

Abusing a child is yelling, screaming, losing your cool, and patience. Just punishing a child and not explaining to them why and how to correct the issue is setting the child up for failure,


Thoughts please!!!

Sniki
03-13-2007, 11:49 AM
Evil MsRZA soap.