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Racailla
07-21-2005, 09:47 AM
Here's some lines I dropped in the "dojo"-thread earlier this day.
Just hit me up with your view on these - much love

When I
meditate in the dojo, my mind's at the estate's
gate of my soul, not solo, they conjugate
as mind hovers over fine waters of my spring
it's tears of a father hearing his blind daughter sing
the fusion shows it like a zoom ----- clearly
picture's weaved severely in the loom 'n stirs me
I never believed I would ever be complete
endeavor me achieve masterhood cleverly
this is the art of mind journey, mighty learning
combined with finding designs, then u-turning
cause home's the place where your heart is
face it, you cannot apart these, truth is basic
knowledge drawn at the sky like rasters
where my mind flies reminds me of my master
"Going on means going far, going far means returning"
see with your heart 'n your sight be discerning

Racailla
07-22-2005, 12:02 PM
2nd verse:

Discover your heart to master, your thoughts are cars
driving on tha intercity-route "blood pressure" far faster
than on any alley to tha abdomen or your guts throwing
darts at your belly's core hard, man, get the omen:
nothing is just nuts if you have a chest
no cardiac failures if you only arrest
your impulsions, caprices ----- dull hypothesis
what you need is no Jesus but love expertises
in a world full of hatred and lies, beware that eyes
and ears won't be faked by supplies and tears
I wish they were glasses of truth and lie-detectors
sly man know alone your heart's a wise protector


Come on, show some love for that

GuardianOne
07-24-2005, 08:52 AM
I think the first verse had more meaning than the second. And it had its own reality (the first verse). Keep posting. Nice verse (the first). Gave a unpersidented approach to the way you put it accross

Peace

Killer Falcon
07-24-2005, 10:12 AM
i liked both of those verses a lot. you got a nice flow to it. post up some more, these are good. the first one especially had some good lines

peace

Racailla
07-24-2005, 03:41 PM
Both of you, thank you very much indeed, it's good to get some feedback.
Contact me if you did not understand everything, or let us discuss it here - cheers!

J.T.S.
10-22-2005, 12:13 AM
This was hot slept on!

aztekmonk
10-22-2005, 04:18 AM
yo this some deep shit ,i think i m gettin a bit of it ,yo mind at yo soul,s gate ,do you mean you are gettin deep into your mind to try n really know who you are or something like that,nway its deep activates the brain cell tryna catch the story peace son.

the funky drunk
10-22-2005, 04:28 AM
yo , both verses were on point , the flow was easily found and the rhymes were pretty good , keep it up!