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View Full Version : Dr. Sleepwalker - The Creek


Dr Sleepwalker
04-15-2007, 10:04 AM
.. The creek with floatin' tombstones..
A peek at the sleep in loathin' group homes/
It's deep.. black sheep in snow storms/
Bad dreams with no horns../
No more sad freaks with cold sores/
Had peeps, trapped deep in closed doors/
Enclosed force.. so I chose these words/
Held my head and rose these swords/
Spoke from the source, where I was inspired from/
Spit at snares to the bass from the retarded drum/
Here's were I started from..,/
Stressed, walked alone in the dirtiest kicks/
Murderous trips, got sex from all the curious chicks/
But I was too Fast for a Furious bitch/
I woke up tired today, but couldn't sleep at night type shyt

OTB
04-15-2007, 01:51 PM
nice dart sleepwalker-
i waz a little bent last night when i waz
barkin on you in one of thoze other threadz-
me and my homeboy had about a 18 pack-
no hard feelinz-

this dart iz on some Holocaust meets MF DOOM tip-
keep pushin that ill wordplay sunn-

-peace - OTB

noel411
04-19-2007, 02:39 AM
The opening line was great. It definitely captured my attention and suggested an intriguing read. But I'd have to say it was a little disappointing. It was still pretty decent. I liked some lines. Others seemed kinda random. Don't be afraid to sacrifice the chance to rhyme for a more suitably worded line. Keep at it.

Dr Sleepwalker
04-19-2007, 04:09 PM
seenn... thanks fer the honest critique noel411... ya i was kinda outta my zone on that one,.. my next one will make up for it