Cousin of death...(just sum random shit)

[Sleep Sinatra]

just droppin sum bars idk kinda bored headz feedback would b mad appreciated...


lethal rap symphony vividly crack infantries(sp?) mystical rime schemes infa-red shine beam on yea head...my team roll for dolo n for bread thorough bred legion dukes fiendin for tha season 2....begin its wack mc merc time i squirt lines fluidly movin these jerks shine while i hurriedly cover my tracks got more niggas yellin at they "hoooss" than thunder cats bludgeon smack tha fuck outta a battler .....most "mcs" equal "square" im rare spittin algebra take on all comers still decomposin tha challenger people kno that im bout it tha Cousin of Death is sleep i creep now fer tha sake tha mic game ...specs on lil high n im keepin a tight aim beastin em fight games b my specialty wrestle me i "tombstone" slam niggas till they needn help medically.... my psycho kinetically energy is my worst enemy fry a god crispy n still spit heavenly .....feedback appreciated 1hunnid

[Sleep Sinatra]

come on 11 views n no feedback...bump son bump...

[bloodyhookz]

tight verse most def, keep blessin' up G!!

[Sleep Sinatra]

good lookin on tha feed hookz uppin for more feedback...

[Sleep Sinatra]

come on now headz just a COUPLE more thoughts would b nice...bumpin for more feedback still....

[Sleep Sinatra]

ok since yall aint feelin that i guess i'll drop some iller shit...


my unholy presence cause tha pope 2 wanna make pennance/ reconfigure a "pigs grill" like i was a "jake dentist"/set fire 2 buildings wit children theres no escape tenants!/ i break "sentences" down like a speech empedit(sp?)/john gotti ya body dun "fugettit" in war times i leave ya cavalry screamin MEDIC/ not a "horseman" but headless wack cats just pathetic/dependent on real rimes steel nines will end it/ "it" being ya life better believe in tha "christ"/ naw not jesus ME KID tha god easily strike/ blasphmetic rapz connected wit tha illest facts ive read it/ re-read n then wrote my own book old heads passed me tha torch i caught tha shit wit no look/leave ya soul shook cuz lyrical death = me/ so poisonous ya boys will just forget 2 even breathe/ my heathens squeeze wit no sorrow or afterthought/ ya morrow (bone marrow) still rottin from tha aftershock/blast tha glock im "intergalactical" like an astronaut/ u faggots rock on dick n roll on balls/ while my cock in ya bitch twat she kno im "tall"/ so hazardous 2 tha "earth" i make tha ozone fall....

[Classic]

kinda hard for me to flow with this since the structure is kinda off.
you improved it with the second verse, but you need to make it better.
just keep shit simple, like this.

my unholy presence cause tha pope 2 wanna make pennance
reconfigure a "pigs grill" like i was a "jake dentist"

no need for a backslash, or bunchin' shit together.
if you can structure your shit like this, it's easier to read.
if ya can do it like that, i'll try to leave ya some better constructive feedback.

[Scáth Bán]

"I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death" - Nas

That's what your title made me think of.

Nice verse bro.

[Sleep Sinatra]

cool cool appreciate tha feedback yall

[Sleep Sinatra]

aight here goes another one.....


tha god shiva spit seizurez 2 tha non believers/chronic cheefa inhaled deeper derail speakers//my brain diction cause mad train collisions/mental vision make tha most trained eye twitch-when // my hitmen manuevers-prove tha most effecient/ move-it-wit a snakes tongue sharp got me hissin//"sharks" on tha block nigga tha streets a "sea"/ in da dark wit a glock so da P's cant see/ big bad wolf 2 u fuckin bambi's// man-please understand me// if not get a back hand from half tha Crook family// jook more than RB's (runnin backs) -spark me?... bitch par hardly// mad clips who wanna party?// "streets is my home" like i lived in an "RV"//.......

side notes

God Shiva-hindu god of destruction...

also i was listenin 2 method man as i was typin this so if u cant tell i tried formatting my rimes like his...

prolly not one of my better verses but i think it had better structur feedback please!

[J.T.S.]

Your'e good just learn how to structure ya bars, i like ya style but reading how u write lines is aggravating.

[Sleep Sinatra]

lol yea im completly new 2 textin my rimes out so any help is mad appreciated..good looks on tha feedback bumpin 4 more...

[Sleep Sinatra]

just sum random chaos...



behold tha ghostly figure of sinatra/
my lines written in blood engraved in tha chakras/
i smash tablets n create fates 4 those who knock tha/
most perplexin vex'd nigga wit a blow i rock ya/
frozen cold wasteland roamin demons is my brotheren/
scar slash letterin in chests n buck shots deafinin/
"ill" like i refuse 2 seek physicians or medicine/
my mission is my evidence for niggas actin trife/
i smack em twice my "jackknife" named kevin nash/
im sendin fags 2 burn in hades tryna play me/
grindin on tha daily lost scriptures neva forgave me/
smoke tha sensimilla till my pupils unfocused n lazy/
dunns holdin they ladys winos crackin they forty's/
on tha block nigga named morty smackin up his shorty/
war reportin rival crews get 2 firin duke/
im more than a bystander shots fly im firin 2/
till sirens spew tha streets n lil homies flee/
im back in tha lab recordin vocals spittin my soul on tha beat/

[Johnny 6-feet]

K, looking at your first verse i was immediately thinking you need to put it into a coherant structure. Set it out a line at a time instead of a big block of text. The coherancy was hard to catch, there were some nice rhymes in here. But i think if you'd wrote up a more solid story it would've been more readable.

[Sleep Sinatra]

yea my structure was way off but imo i think ive gotten way better in that area......

this is from tha freestyle thread feedback plz...

ayo da god spit boulders hell froze over n still colder/
krill flippin qouta "higher" than tommy chong i calmy bomb/
"smash crates" like donkey kong poundin on my chest n shit/
beast breathin down ya neck tec grippin wreckless spit/
i lesson kids learn em how 2 drop "math"/
i "multiply" haters just so i can pop half/
"divide" ya torso leave u more than a corpse bro/
ressurect ya soul so i control ya mind also/
foes falsifying facts get jaws from tha lion raps/
pitboss who firin gats till ya brain fry in fat/
iron mask like "tony stark" u phony farts get "ghosted"/
clips loaded lyrics encoded in my thought patterns/
caught soulz lost in caverns n took em hostage/
spit goblins lil niggas do my dirtwork/
while ya bitch slurp till i quick squirt u gets hurt/
fuckin wit a verbal leviathan/
leave ya organs cycling while im poppin mg's of vicodins/
skulls pilin i think im close 2 a thousand/
puncturing lungs wit my sword tongue till ya blood drownin/

[SID]

that was pretty good ss i was feelin that flow

[Sleep Sinatra]

good lookin on tha feed sidious *daps uppin for more feedback

[Sleep Sinatra]

sum thought provoking written ish...feedback plz


a pecimist wit an attitude shitty /
sumtimez i feel like tha worlds tryna get me/
rimin gritty my mission is 2 rid tha city/
of pity punks who'd rather listen 2 diddy/
than a real nigga old skool like tha 50's/
i was born in tha golden age/
were battles were on stage instead overseas wit grenades/
it sickens me how that times forgotten/
now evrybody talkin ice,gear n body rockin/
bitches jockin niggas cuz they whips b flossin/
all im tryna do is get a lil name but often/
niggas squabbin over chains steadil mobbin/
I REALIZE WE CANT EVOLVE WIT OUT CONFLICT BUT 2 B HONEST WUT THA FUCK WE GON ACCOMPLISH?/
its nonsense but thas all that there's ever been/
cryin bout losses but how can we ever win?/


put alotta thought into this one feed back appreciated..

[TheWriter07]

Like the images and flow were crazy 8/10

[Sleep Sinatra]

ight good lookin out *daps uppin for more feed

[Sleep Sinatra]

aight just sum shit kinda pissed gotta let my emotions out sum how....



feel like i need 2 puff tha trees as my knuckles bleed/
scuffle mc's 2 skeletal ashes enemies plottin my demize/
as if they minds were telepathic it could get tragic/
fuckin wit a war torn soldier /my soul hell scorned wit hate but yet still colder/
than tha waters of tha artic /fatherin my foes man eatin on sum shark shit/
im in tha darkness and in need of a light/
followin paths of my elders endless struggles despite/
tha fact that trife niggas still yappin/
my brain patented(sp?) encoded wit mysterious magic/
life liquid drench tha tablet and savage/
attempts at punk ass bastards tryna act sick/
is all tha cause of this madness which i speak wit/
defeat all oppenents leave the arena wit a beast's grin/

feedback welcomed...suaze

[Sleep Sinatra]

nutha joint i did in tha freestyle thread...


i perpatrate wit tha professionalism of a jewel thief/
jerks-who-hate get wrecked-from-da-wisdom of tha tool speech/
i move-streets a behemoth walkin tha lands gritty/
sands of time shift as i handle-mines swiftly/
40's of mickies blunts of da diesel keep my head gone/
reflectin "shells" like "mario wearin teflon"/
respect-don or get ya whole fuckin crew-wet-son/
forget-non factual niggas wack shit gettin slept-on/
kept-bombs as if i was werkin 4 "bin laden"/
bashin niggas on tha domes untill they shins-poppin/

FEEDBACK PLLLZZZ...suaze

[Sleep Sinatra]

uppin for at least a LIL bit of feed.....

[noel411]

sum thought provoking written ish...feedback plz


a pecimist wit an attitude shitty /
sumtimez i feel like tha worlds tryna get me/
rimin gritty my mission is 2 rid tha city/
of pity punks who'd rather listen 2 diddy/
than a real nigga old skool like tha 50's/
i was born in tha golden age/
were battles were on stage instead overseas wit grenades/
it sickens me how that times forgotten/
now evrybody talkin ice,gear n body rockin/
bitches jockin niggas cuz they whips b flossin/
all im tryna do is get a lil name but often/
niggas squabbin over chains steadil mobbin/
I REALIZE WE CANT EVOLVE WIT OUT CONFLICT BUT 2 B HONEST WUT THA FUCK WE GON ACCOMPLISH?/
its nonsense but thas all that there's ever been/
cryin bout losses but how can we ever win?/


put alotta thought into this one feed back appreciated..
I read this verse. It was pretty cool. Very straight forward and to the point. Simple but effective. Sounds like you were using the pen to release some genuine thoughts and frustrations. Good stuff.

[Sleep Sinatra]

yea u couldnt b more on point yo *daps uppin for sum more feedback...

[Suga Duga]

sum thought provoking written ish...feedback plz


a pecimist wit an attitude shitty /
sumtimez i feel like tha worlds tryna get me/
rimin gritty my mission is 2 rid tha city/
of pity punks who'd rather listen 2 diddy/
than a real nigga old skool like tha 50's/
i was born in tha golden age/
were battles were on stage instead overseas wit grenades/
it sickens me how that times forgotten/
now evrybody talkin ice,gear n body rockin/
bitches jockin niggas cuz they whips b flossin/
all im tryna do is get a lil name but often/
niggas squabbin over chains steadil mobbin/
I REALIZE WE CANT EVOLVE WIT OUT CONFLICT BUT 2 B HONEST WUT THA FUCK WE GON ACCOMPLISH?/
its nonsense but thas all that there's ever been/
cryin bout losses but how can we ever win?/


put alotta thought into this one feed back appreciated..

not bad man, not bad

[Sleep Sinatra]

good lookin out yo *daps b droppin sum more shit in a min uppin 4 more feed...n yall should vote on that battle me n sidious got gainst big n mx1...suaze

[Sleep Sinatra]

my psycosis get-u-ghosted spit wit venomous potions/
grip-tha-pen-an-flip-oceans wit flows of tsunami's/
my-crew-nonchalantly makin moves on u soft bodies/
im shakin dukes til they bones-break-an spew/
tha-forsaken-few-who-chose 2 walk my path as allies/
shall penetrate any force wit grace as tha shells fly/
of-course-tha-hate is expected meditatin wit ghetto monks/
learnin valuable lessons pals-who-is stressin will test they-fate-wit-pumps/
40 cals-an tha wessuns- b my weapons of choice/
overstep ya boundries an im poundin-till-ya-head-is-moist/
ultrakinetic-voice poised in position so nigga listen/
if i gotta get urs 2 get mines then im gettin/
slick lines wit no lubricant added fools-will-get-blasted/
messin wit my troop if we smashin i boom-wit-a-passion/
of collectin tha franklins lost in an addiction dunny cant escape them/

feedback pllllzzzz....

[Sleep Sinatra]

from da freestyle thread 5-18-07


slashin throats on u savage-folks this nigga got tha anti-dote/
my camp'll-"blow holes" like moby dick u know-me-pricks/
tha kinda dunny thatll leave u in sum frozen-shit/
rollin-wit-tha-coldest-cliques-i-"bomb"-on-sum-explosive-tip/
throw ya body out tha ride just 2 see if u can "ghost tha whip"/
my flows-is-sick im tha closest 2 a human virus/
roamin-wit-goons-4-diamonds all my dukes is hungry god/
fuck-a-fraud my gats is "looney tunes" bugs an daffy b/
crunch-a-rapper-these-cats-im-snuffin-faster- see/
act-ually i snap-ya vert-a-brae-exactly/
semitrical wit ya testicals when im clappin heat/

feedback appreciated...suaze

[Sleep Sinatra]

bump 4 feed...

[Sleep Sinatra]

bumpin 4 sum feed yo...

[Sleep Sinatra]

aight nother joint just random chaotic bars again...HOPEFULLY ill get sum feedback sumtime(hint hint prime lol )...


illest methods makin u feel-decrepid real-respect-it/
fakers gettin -lessons from tha Crook-legendz/
my knife-took multiple lives who spittin grime/
vicious-signs of tha takeover send u 2 "kingdom come" but aint-hova/
fiends-wit-gunz ,a bad combo my-lines da most poisonous "black mombo"/
attack-pronto pullin "longnecks" like a bronto-/
saurus-kickin ass-rap-chuck-norris of-course-this-/
lyrical petafile-wreck-ya-"child"-steppin-wild-electric-vile-moves im bringin/
evil- croons- im- singin boom ya demons at hell's gate/
im sword-swingin first my nigga,so tha shells-wait/
melt-ya-fate saudered 2 ya soul get it hard-boiled/
fatherin-my-foes-spark-oil ,mass explosions/
"hidden in a symbol of war like a trojan"/
my gold-men rock silver an velour-god/
tha realest on tha mic these cats is pure-frauds/

sidenotes
"hidden in a symbol of war like a trojan"/-when tha trojans ambushed whoeva inside dat horse

black mambo-i was reffering 2 tha black mamba , one of tha deadliest snakes



FEEEEDDDBBAACCCKKK PLEEEAAAAZZZEEEE!.....thank u

[Ritter]

You got your shit sick Sinatra... your recorded stuff is real fire too.

Oh, I just had to bump this thread.

Fire.

[BornPower]

2keep it real, you gonna get a ton of lookz and hardly any feed. itz alwayz like that around here. I hear some of your audio and I'd buy ur album (if you eva get urz done! lol). u know how to shoot the wings from flows already, the challenge now is to curve a bullet around the globe...

[Sleep Sinatra]

WOW....this shit is mad old haha, glad yall feelin it tho, i might drop another jewel in here sometime, my structure was SHIITYYYY back then haha

peace yall

[OTB]

yeah Sleep-
drop somethin new yo-

heads be checkin for you even if they dont always post up-

peace king-

[SID]

Tight wordplay as usual sleep, keep killin em