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Ebo
07-25-2005, 12:26 PM
What are the right words to say, the right acts to do, the right thoughts to think?
Like fitting pieces in a puzzle, we don't see which piece goes where.
What is the "right moment"?
It can't be found, it can't be prepared for.
It's like standing in a river.
Time just flows by you.
There no use trying to grab the flow of water attemping to hold on to it.
Thinking back about the past is like thinking about the water that just went by.
How are you going to cross or even swim in the water carrying a big bag of belongings on your back?
You're bound to drown and get caught by the stream.
Lose that bag of belongings.
You don't own anything.
All your possessions are like smoke.
They fade away.
Your thoughts are only tools, no possessions.
Your feelings are directions.
Would you stay with the person that just gave you directions or would you follow them?

Killer Falcon
07-25-2005, 04:23 PM
interesting verse, i like the metaphors. you've conveyed quite a lot of messages in there as well. good read, it makes you think about your values

peace

u-turn
07-25-2005, 05:04 PM
interesting, but cool verse

BRASSKNUCKLED PAI MEI
07-25-2005, 05:08 PM
Yes very deep is the streams we creep words are reaped from the poems we read tones of emotions blown to the exact proportions clean that wax your hording deaf ears are rewarding like ignorance is bliss Ebo has the scripts Jack the Ripper mysteriousness Glowing gifts Ebo flows with this!!!

martyr
07-25-2005, 06:10 PM
...yea this style wont go over the best on the site... cats'll see that this won't rhyme and banish it... i like it though... it was deep... the descriptions and imagery was nice and i feel the feeling you're either trying to create or not cause either way i got a feeling out of it... yea, keep writing, peace...

GuardianOne
07-26-2005, 01:01 AM
It was quite a searching topic ( i just had to read the title again) well you placed that one quite well. It wasn't creative but rather was practical (realistic). Its a nice verse.

Peace
PS: I seem to have an idea of your style, it nice. Keep Posting!!!!!

Ebo
08-01-2005, 12:51 PM
thanks for these comments, that's basically the reason i post, i'd like to improve my skills as a poet, having another view on my shit lets me improve so much faster.

peace