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J.T.S.
06-11-2007, 01:57 PM
Chrous

To all the soldiers falling like the rain-drops in storms
Were living amognst the un-cililized that need to be born
Shots on the corner hit babies die sent to allah in spritual form
Hearts torn to pieces, mother's cry to Jesus
How many more deceased kids? The seeds need us!

Verse one

Late night back home from a family visit flight..
Yellow tape across the street from my pad..
Lady friend Elaine screaming mad...
Some cats murdered her li'l brother Brad..
Shit's sad, son was only 16, his pops was a fiend..
His dream was to go to college, li'l man had knowlege..
Life abolished over envy, angering the anger in me..
He didn't smoke trees, getting good grades were his steez..
Said he looked up to me and we had plans when he got older..
Know i'm drowning in pain, struggling to say sober..
These kids are cobra's with poisoned minds..
Gotta keep mine in line, worried i might find, one of em shot..
Iv'e moved from spot to spot same shit on every block..
Nobody snitches so the muderer dosen't get locked..
Just street justice with a glock on cock..
Got the info from Todd, Brad got into a fist-fight..
Over a ball-game he won, he faced off with some cat that got sonned..
So embarrased over taking a beating, the idiot got a gun..
Saw Brad on his way home, and popped 3 in his dome..

Chrous
To all the soldiers falling like the rain-drops in storms
Were living amognst the un-cililized that need to be born
Shots on the corner hit babies die sent to allah in spritual form
Hearts torn to pieces, mother's cry to Jesus
How many more deceased kids? The seeds need us!



Verse 2

I had a good friend named Joanne..
Dreamed of putting that ring on her hand..
But i was unlucky, i always had a girl, and she always had a man..
We was like fam, always planned to make her mine..
But she wasn't with the weed smoke, and explicit quotes..
Still we joked, and hung together, even went riding on a boat..
In class she'd pass me notes, one i read a-loud to the teacher..
That was before the celly's were in, and we used beepers..
4 years as friends our bond became stronger, feelings got deeper..
Next morning in class annoucement over the loudspeaker..
Attention all students and teachers!
I'm the principal and i'm sorry to say that a student was murdered her name Joanne Grey..
Everyone was quiet that day, ever since i lost her i ain't never been the same..

Chrous
To all the soldiers falling like the rain-drops in storms
Were living amognst the un-cililized that need to be born
Shots on the corner hit babies die sent to allah in spritual form
Hearts torn to pieces, mother's cry to Jesus
How many more deceased kids? The seeds need us!

Last verse

Rick always drinking, then beating, and abusing Susan
Scars on her face, battered from bruising
Depressed she started using drugs as an escape
Seen her in the alleys on her knees just for a taste
Rick pimped her downtown every night at eight til' mad late
One day he didn't watch her she got gang-raped
Not by force but to be initiated in a gang
She screamed Jesus name as her vagina tore from the pain
she thought it was all over when the sixth gangster came
But these hoods were insane they called up they homies and ran a train
Bleeding profusely as her hands were chained to the side of the bedstand
She started fighting til' one man slammed her into the lamp
Threw up her hands then he rammed her head in the wall (damn)
His homies panicked as she went into a seisure, call police man!

DJMethods
06-11-2007, 02:52 PM
Dope concept, kinda shit the game needs instead of glorifying killing. its hard to tell what your delivery and flow's like, but i imagine you on some master ace type shit with this.

Did you write it to a beat? If not, get a beat, and write to that, use the same lines and what not but construct it better. but yeah its hard to tell i might be reading it wrong and it flows perfectly.

Second verse touches, everyones got or had a girl like that.

keep the shit up man, real hip-hop here

Bigot Hitman
06-11-2007, 02:54 PM
This whole piece was dark and had a hardcore appeal but the overall story concept, like the plot, wasn't too original, the second verse was ok if it was a true story cuz u don't wanna change what happened, but the first verse seemed too played, anyways, the way u wrote this piece was great, flow wise and rhyme scheme wise, the similies u used were basic and blatan nothin special, i've seen better from u than this.

7/10

J.T.S.
06-11-2007, 03:13 PM
Thanx Methods, and Hitman .

SHEEPISH LORD OF CHAOS
06-11-2007, 05:49 PM
yo JTS this was dope homie the imagery was straight outta a movie son you captured the story and the plotline perfectly the narration was classic i gotta give you a 5/5 for the way the spit was just layed out and made very readable

J.T.S.
06-13-2007, 12:47 PM
Thanx Sheepish

J.T.S.
06-13-2007, 12:49 PM
Dope concept, kinda shit the game needs instead of glorifying killing. its hard to tell what your delivery and flow's like, but i imagine you on some master ace type shit with this.

Did you write it to a beat? If not, get a beat, and write to that, use the same lines and what not but construct it better. but yeah its hard to tell i might be reading it wrong and it flows perfectly.

Second verse touches, everyones got or had a girl like that.

keep the shit up man, real hip-hop here

I wrote this to Nas revolutionary warfare instrumental.