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Ebo
08-01-2005, 02:07 PM
Step forward into the realm of divine power.
Wield your sword to slice clouds and cause showers.
Celestin appetite had hate's fires devoured
Coward at first, but no longer, a growing spiritual hunger.
A miracle in sight, you wonder.
Doubt the reality of sensory-surpassing knowledge.
(Stick to the believes you got from college.)
You can't see trough your worldly foliage.
School system sabotage is my plan,
my education's deadly to the common man.
Misused, abused and forgotten.
Tempers, moods, emotions are rotten.
Rotten apples from the divine tree of life.
Misunderstood, so we engage in fights.
And miss the lights, in all directions.
Simple a image of your self's reflection.
It's all forgotten when we lost connection.
To the A, the 1, the God, the Self, the Christ.
You look surprised, yourself despised?
And victimized? Are you a slave to the flesh, your eyes?
You give in to sentimental lies.

tekunique
08-01-2005, 02:11 PM
yo, it was good. the content i was feelin but cant avoid that it sounds a bit rushed. and "stick to the believes you got from college.'' i wasnt feelin that line..

Ebo
08-01-2005, 02:18 PM
True, i wrote this one down in one breath, so i was a bit quick in my conclusions.
I put in an alternative line. Appreciate the feedback.
peace.

tekunique
08-01-2005, 02:19 PM
True, i wrote this one down in one breath, so i was a bit quick in my conclusions.
I put in an alternative line. Appreciate the feedback.
peace. no doubt, keep on.

GuardianOne
08-02-2005, 09:43 AM
You seemed to flow on top of your thoughts here in this verse. If that can be the correct expression. But it had its own motives, it revolved mainly on how others perceive there situation and other things ( i don't know how to explain it). But it was okay (you were searching through ideas and using those ideas aswell in the verse.

Peace
PS: Keep posting

Ebo
08-06-2005, 03:06 PM
Thanks, Guardian, TekUnique, appreciate the comments

BRASSKNUCKLED PAI MEI
08-06-2005, 03:14 PM
Step forward into the realm of divine power.
Wield your sword to slice clouds and cause showers.
Celestin appetite had hate's fires devoured
Coward at first, but no longer, a growing spiritual hunger.
A miracle in sight, you wonder.
Doubt the reality of sensory-surpassing knowledge.
(Stick to the believes you got from college.)
You can't see trough your worldly foliage.
School system sabotage is my plan,
my education's deadly to the common man.
Misused, abused and forgotten.Tempers, moods, emotions are rotten.
Rotten apples from the divine tree of life.
Misunderstood, so we engage in fights.
And miss the lights, in all directions.
Simple a image of your self's reflection.
It's all forgotten when we lost connection.
To the A, the 1, the God, the Self, the Christ.
You look surprised, yourself despised?
And victimized? Are you a slave to the flesh, your eyes?
You give in to sentimental lies.

Damn as you went on you just seared them words nice delivery

Dae Ja Nae
08-06-2005, 03:20 PM
It didn't sound rushed at all to me. Strongly delivered realism in relation to today's struggle. I loved it.

Peace

Ebo
08-07-2005, 01:15 PM
Thanks for the feedback Ben, Dae Ja Nae. Appreciate that

Peace