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Dr Sleepwalker
01-15-2008, 02:24 PM
Ayyo,

I swear I could stop problems as fast as they settle in../
As the mass they asembled in, scarred on the passed they peddal on../
Fed up like you can't feed me, but won't let up and let you beat me../
Your bleeding... it's relieving, believe me,.. but I wont show you these feelings../
..It's like, I could pluck your heart strings, like I swear this harp sings../
Just wind for pale faces, like I swear this part stings,../
Every movement she made, was like a line I wrote../
Like every book I closed, explained the time it took../
My pen moves like my heart moved it., who was I when the hurt soothed it?../
Somebody searchin', scratchin' surfaces til' the dirt used it...,,/
To hide it, just to lose it, now I can't find it../
Always reminded when the room goes quiet../
It erupted in silence, interrupted by sirens../
Back to reality.. tryin' to accept the violence../
Live for recovery, just to die with those habbits../
Her eyes were lovely, just to cry from her lashes../

I poured a lot inta this,

feedback much appreciated,

pea2e

J.T.S.
01-15-2008, 04:10 PM
[quote=Dr_Sleepwalker;1026614]Ayyo,

I swear I could stop problems as fast as they settle in../
As the mass they asembled in, scarred on the passed they peddal on../
Fed up like you can't feed me, but won't let up and let you beat me../
Your bleeding... it's relieving, believe me,.. but I wont show you these Somebody searchin', scratchin' surfaces til' the dirt used it...,,/
To hide it, just to lose it, now I can't find it../
Always reminded when the room goes quiet../
It erupted in silence, interrupted by sirens../
Back to reality.. tryin' to accept the violence../
Live for recovery, just to die with those habbits../
Her eyes were lovely, just to cry from her lashes../

Favorite lines here, only question why 2 posts??

Dr Sleepwalker
01-15-2008, 04:39 PM
made a mistake.. didnt think it posted n' made another...

my bad peepz, thanks for the feed J.T.S, alway's respected,

pea2e

J.T.S.
01-16-2008, 11:09 AM
As the mass they asembled in, scarred on the passed they peddal on../
Fed up like you can't feed me, but won't let up and let you beat me../
Your bleeding... it's relieving, believe me,.. but I wont show you these Somebody searchin', scratchin' surfaces til' the dirt used it...,,/

Sleep walker break these lines down for me fam theyr'e deep, but i wonder what your'e meaning is for them.

Dr Sleepwalker
01-16-2008, 06:36 PM
the mass of problems... that they assembled in.. like they group up n' hit me at once sometimes, feel me?..

I'm fed up, like you can feed me.. play on words, and she's always provokin' me (my girl, ex-girl, partner in crime, w/e the fuck she is).. feedin' me hurt that provides me to write this for ya'll.. wont let up and let her beat me, always in charge... she's bleedin', (she used to be a cutter... she stopped that ish tho, only threatens herself now,.. she knows to pretty to destroy).. it's relieving, cuz at least I know I matter enough to put her in so much pain, but I wont show her those feelingz.. cuz it used ta hurt like fuck ta see her hurt herself... ... foreally real..

I'm someone searchin', threw these fucked up things I see and go threw in life, til' the dirt and bullshit gets at me...

hope that explains sumthin,

pea2e

BornPower
01-17-2008, 09:52 AM
i'm feelin it. from da heart, dartz...

noel411
01-27-2008, 01:35 AM
I read this like right after you posted it and never got around to commenting.

Anyway, this shit is deep. Tight shit. Probably the best I've read from you. Very emotional, serious and personal subject matter. You have a creative way of wording things, even if sometimes it can be hard for the reader to break down the meaning. I'm guessing you probably write like that intentionally though, especially considering how personal the content is.

I liked that shit a lot. Read it back a few times. Keep up the good work.