View Full Version : Riddlez Is Back - Quick Freestyle - Feedback PLZ !

08-10-2005, 07:48 AM
yo ... just a little freestyle ! so plz let me know what u think !

1 2 check it ...

yo blessed with the light of the divine essence,
i transcend elevated as a young ad-a-lesson
for the presence is dominated through the energy to be harnessed
shine light upon light to free the aching soul from the entrapment of darkness
the shackle of the beast wicked entwined in the worldly sixes
three in total they form the breath of the lesser senses
for the animal is mutated by the whisper of the satins
relaten to desire they find them selves victims of divine hatin
dwelling in fire, they melt as their hearts become engulfed in soot
no abbot, they rot in the molten cot as brain boil with blood clot
as they swipe their freedom with a card of the masters
identity trapped on a photo by their jin partners
keepin up with jones, vision cloned dictated by mega-phones
cancer through mobile phones, satellite tracked from above the globes
kids imitating stars, loosing there presence as they fade into the dark
become fake as their hate explode and let the ego strike as a spark
for their sense has been replaced by vertically striken esses
knowledge been replaced by degrees and secular endorsed lessons
freedom been replaced by versace modesty covered by armanis
poor hit with tsunamis and occupation enforced by US armies
for the price of freedom is death, i wish God sends through his angels
break us free from democratic bangles and slip out of societies sandals
for the vandal is the one waving the sword by the handle
and slicing the walk of the innocent from the hip to the ankle
the truth is dimming as the sands are tricklin down the angled glass
for the hour is ticking as the minutes are slipping as the seconds pass
for the colours of the flags are merging globalising the world the margin
justified by the wealth of the diseased i bring back the healin like marvin
if X was to mark the spot then I beg that God brings back Malcom
for the evil has swept the land and clipped the wings of this Flacon !

Peace Out

Killer Falcon
08-10-2005, 09:32 AM
welcome back man. that verse was excellent. you had a great flow and choice of words and images, very impressive stuff. rhythm was on point too, i can imagine this flowing well over a beat. keep posting up more of your work.


08-10-2005, 10:25 AM
thanx man, its good 2 b back :)

this place has changed heaps since last time i was on, but never the less, ppl r still rhyming which is what its all about it.

Once again, thanx for the feedback :)

Peace Out

08-11-2005, 01:38 AM
Since you said its a freestyle we'll give you this chance, and that you have come back. Though you captured a lot of thoughts in this verse, the start seemed a bit repeatitive (you wrote a sentence then capped it with a particular word which lost the meaning of the previous thought).Keep posting.


08-11-2005, 01:44 AM
One comment - There can be no such thing as "divine hatin". Divinity in it's essence is love. Tighten up your bars(meaning the flow). You must be like water my friend.

08-11-2005, 08:18 AM
SUp guyz

thanx for the feedback ... yeah i know, bit rusty with the rhymes ... been ages since i freestyled !

and Vex, i know the essence of divinity is love, but the victims of desire are those who are tempted by the desires of the world and find them selves occupied with other things then God which in turn mutates them to self admiration which in it self becomes an indirect source of hate to the devine cause they choose to deny his existence !

it is only when ones heart is clear from other desires that it will be able 2 receive light from the devine for the purity of the devine does not reside in a heart full of wordly diseases !

well thats my understanding ... let me know on ur thoughts :)

once again, thanx for the feeback guys, and keep em comming :)

Peace Out