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u-turn
08-11-2005, 03:32 PM
being schizophrenic people look at you like you a bimbo on rit
when you talk they act concerned like death holding the diamonds
every things a paradox like skeletons in the attic
don't need no hustle, thats why i don't bother to slur my profit
heads being chopped off, while my wheels being popped off
see the depth, its all about death while fleeing ya coffin
trying to drop me, i just pop thee
like bottle caps, bag em up, shraps of metal fall like apples from trees
i'm just a hungry kid looking for ugly bitches
target em, locked n loaded, cocked n bloated, gotta hurry this
moms knockin on the door, with the dad holding the shutgun
trying to 'scape, scolding the hotty dun
can't even remember names properly
i slay name n brains who got claimed property
call me richy rich wit an average sized dick
wit potential, and i ain't catching hiv shit
steady my hand, i'm ready for famined land
accident happened, an animal got my hand
sorta like the terminator, who elected Hussein
i juss wish they selected a man who's sane
then we wouldn't have innocents losses
but i guess thats what americas pinnacle costs
and bush is a flake like a pringle bag
so i leave him like fall leaves, danglin bad
caress my star, one in million chance
but when i look up, realize i got a 1 in a billion chance

GuardianOne
08-12-2005, 01:07 AM
I don't know you're style seems to evoke a kind of boredom, or it seems you're not serious. I have only realized it when i read this verse. Maybe its the way you use you word play. Try and be creative. Might be you use a word to rhyme from another word you had just written. You have to correct me or maybe iam not sure of your style yet. But keep posting

Peace
PS: you'll get better

u-turn
08-12-2005, 11:51 AM
i understand completely what your saying, but this is more of a "hobby" to me. i am trying to improve though