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SKAMPOE
03-12-2008, 10:29 PM
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

How much do pirates pay for their earrings?
A buccaneer.

What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
Dam.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.

What did the bee to say to the flower?
"Hey, Bud, when do you open?"

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?
Halfway.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.

What goes ha, ha, ha, plop?
Someone laughing his head off.

What do you get when you cross a fly with an elephant?
A zipper that never forgets.

How do you make an elephant fly?
First, you start with a 48-inch zipper...

Can an elephant jump higher than a lamppost?
Yes. Lampposts can't jump.

What do you do with an elephant with three balls?
Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

What's the worst part about hunting elephants?
Carrying the decoys.

Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they would look silly with glove compartments.

What is large, gray, and wears glass slippers?
Cinderelephant.

Why was Cinderella so lousy at baseball?
She ran away from the ball, and she had a pumpkin for a coach.

What is the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?
Its butt.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
The food is terrific, but there's no atmosphere.

What did the hot dog say when he crossed the finish line?
I am the wiener!

What did one hot dog say to another?
Hi, Frank.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on it.

Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they can't remember the words.

What is bright orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it's too far to walk.

Did you hear about the skunk that went to church?
He had his own pew.

Why do fire departments have Dalmatians?
To help them find the hydrants.

What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler.

What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A dog that rips your leg off, then goes for help.

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe with a border collie?
Melancholy puppies.

Where do you find a no-legged dog?
Right where you left him.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, he ain't going to come anyway.

So the male flea said to the female flea, "How about we go to the movies?"
And the female flea said, "Sure. Shall we walk or take the dog?"

Who yelled, "Coming are the British."?
Paul Reverse.

What did the mother buffalo say to her little boy when he went off to school?
Bison.

What do you get when you eat onions and beans?
Tear gas.

How do you what you use to fix a broken tomato?
Tomato paste.

Did you hear about the two silkworms in a race?
They wound up in a tie.

What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.

What do you say to a hitchhiker with one leg?
Hop in.

Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi.

Why did the fungi leave the party?
Because there wasn't mushroom.

Why do they put bells on cows?
Because their horns don't work.

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
To win the no-bell prize.

What's brown and lives in the bell tower?
The lunch bag of Notre Dame.

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book?
Because they all have phones.

What did Mrs. Bullet say to Mr. Bullet?
We're going to have a beebee.

Why was the tomato red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

Why should you never fly with Peter Pan?
Because you'll never, never land.

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting into the hotel?
He didn't have a reservation.

Why do gorillas have large nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

How does the Man in the Moon get his haircut?
Eclipse it.

Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.

Why did the Pilgrims pants fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckles on their hats.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
They both have the same middle name.

SKAMPOE
03-12-2008, 10:35 PM
Thanx Skampoe! Those Jokes Were Funny!

JerseyIronman
03-12-2008, 10:37 PM
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

hahaha this one had me rofl'ing every where

i can go to bed now finally

STYLE
03-12-2008, 11:35 PM
Why do gorillas have large nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.


hahahaha


i got some for u

what does a pig put on a burn?
oinkment



why did the chicken cross the playground?
to get to the other slide


what has 4 wheels and flies?
a garbage truck

Longbongcilvaringz
03-12-2008, 11:44 PM
^&^^^^^ hahaha

dat kast ones waz mad futy

11th Chamber
03-13-2008, 12:07 AM
what has 4 wheels and flies?
a garbage truck

haha some bitch I kno kept giving me that joke and my stupid ass kept saying a plane. I forgot they only got 3

SKAMPOE
03-13-2008, 07:59 AM
Whut Do Winnie The Pooh And Alexander The Great Have In Common?


They Both Have The Same Middle Name Hhahahahahahahahahaa

Tyler Durden
03-13-2008, 08:40 AM
There were two fish in a tank.
One said to the other, "Have you ever driven one of these before?"

THE BEST JOKE IN HISTORY.

herzog
03-13-2008, 11:00 AM
what do you get when you cut off a baby's head?











an erection.

i told that one all the time in 3rd grade.

SKAMPOE
03-13-2008, 11:03 AM
i dont get it!

Durag
03-13-2008, 11:03 AM
Thanx Skampoe! Those Jokes Were Funny!

Bahahahahahahahahahah

Thats the funniest joke on the page!

dezmond
03-13-2008, 11:26 AM
:hooray:

Funny shit..

:hooray:

JerseyIronman
03-13-2008, 06:25 PM
How do you move a pile of dead babies?

......WITH A PITCHFORK




im afraid i might create a monster with this

SickSide
03-13-2008, 06:27 PM
Whats the one thing shorter than skampoes dick??

A n*ggers "To Do" list

just kiddin skampoe

MAYOR QUIMBY
03-13-2008, 08:49 PM
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.


How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!



^^The GOATS.

SKAMPOE
03-13-2008, 08:58 PM
scandalous monks

SKAMPOE
03-29-2008, 03:09 PM
Hahahahaha

shinobi4227
03-29-2008, 04:37 PM
why did Wu- Tang have only five official albums?
because they had to many official members.

Sgt Holly Wood
03-29-2008, 04:54 PM
What is bright orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, he ain't going to come anyway.

What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.

Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi.

Why was the tomato red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
They both have the same middle name.
funniest ones ^^

shinobi4227
03-29-2008, 05:08 PM
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
.

ahahahah no wonder a lotta people don't like it.

SKAMPOE
01-23-2012, 07:09 PM
lmao

tekunique
01-23-2012, 07:14 PM
if 2 vegetarian rappers dont like eachother, do they still have beef ? or do they just squash it ?

TeknicelStylez
01-23-2012, 07:35 PM
lol dope thread, definitely using it for PU techs

SKAMPOE
01-23-2012, 08:24 PM
if 2 vegetarian rappers dont like eachother, do they still have beef ? or do they just squash it ?
lmao good one
but NO, they fight untill one is left in a vegetative state:clap: