View Full Version : Methodical Musings Of A Drunken Australian (Niggas Know)

04-04-2008, 12:11 AM
I was asked to spread wisdom like the legs of a working girl, here I am, heart on sleeve tobacco in the pipe and my best night gown on.

This has been annoying for a while, you'll see with threads such as "Fuck facebook" I'm not a big fan of the technology era. Many moons ago if you wanted to be a stalker you had to do it the good old fashioned way - Peeping tom. Nowdays all the kids have a fake myspace so they can search through random hoes pictures, where is the skill in that?

It was about 1963, I was alone beating off to some porn (Back in those days women didn't shave, it's like watching a tree fall in the forrest..... yes it does make noise) when I decided it just didn't do it for me anymore. I was hard but I was beating so hard my head was begging me to stop the torture letting out this muffled farting sound reminiscent of my stay in Auschwitz. The day every red blooded pervert dreads... porn bitches no longer do it for them.

I put on my Ninja Mask and proceeded out in nothing but a night gown, as I thought access would need to be easy.

With the chill of the cool air making the hairs on my then baby-smooth balls stand on end, I walked down the street. When you're walking to find a prey as a sexual predator, you have a lot of time to think. "Am I doing anything wrong?" "Does this robe really match my headgear?", and I continued looking for a house of whores, my first victims.

I didn't want to go too far away and didn't want to go too close, there needed to be a happy medium so if anything bad happened and da popo was called on a nigga I could run free into the night like the lion after his prey had been captured.

Then I saw it. Right after thinking about my taxes, I saw it, the silouhette of a lovely lady about 23 years old, D sized breasts that stayed in the same position once she removed her bra and bush ao big it looked like she swallowed a cat. Right away my cock got hard at the site of her bush, the hairs down there were like the Medusa of pubes to my 4 inch cock.

I approached the window, cock already out and in hand, stepping over a tricycle and ironically making my way through the bush which kept me from glory only Gladiators of old could know. As I got closer my penis became more sensitive, I was about to blow without the farting noises, without the dry mouth from spitting, I had found my place in this cruel sexual world.

I stood at the window staring through a little gap in the curtains, penis in my cold hand like it was punishing me for what I knew was wrong. She was bent over on the bed when I started to blow, I let out a little war cry as my seeds began to charge out of the cannon that was firing them - But she heard! It was too late to stop, what would a chick be able to do to me anyway? So I stayed beating, breath getting deeper, courage dripping of my forehead when she opened it.... And a man stood there.

I was confused for a second, I remembered his supple skin so I knew thats who made me this hard. I couldn't contemplate now, my seeds like the protectors of my soul sprayed on the window sill, he tried jumping out and slipped on them giving me enough time to escape from the grips of sexual demons trying to bring an angel down.

I got home and contemplated... Am I gay? Still to this day I don't know, but I do know searching facebook and myspace for ho's is the cheap way out, like coathanger abortions.

04-04-2008, 01:03 AM
Next installment is currently in the works as well, will be posted sometime tomorrow.

04-04-2008, 02:03 AM

"Come ona journey through the twisted mind of Djmethods".

04-04-2008, 02:46 PM
I appreciate your support, we will get this stickied in time cause niggas know.

04-04-2008, 03:33 PM
not boring at all.
I support this.