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View Full Version : Crude joke thread!!!


RustyFangz
04-14-2008, 10:00 PM
I'll start...


Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew?

The pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven.

FatherSl!me
04-14-2008, 10:54 PM
how many jews can u fit in a volkswagon


































4 in the seats and 30 in the ashtray

RustyFangz
04-14-2008, 11:15 PM
Guy goes into a gynocologsts office, says "doc,I need birth control pills. They're for my 10 year old daughter." The Dr. looks at him shocked and says "Why is your 10 year old daughter sexually active?" Guy says "Hell no, she just lays there like her mother does."

Blackula Spectacula
04-14-2008, 11:23 PM
A lesbian goes to a nutritionist because she has indigestion.

The nutritionist says "It's simple - you are what you eat".

so the lesbian turns to her and says...

"Are you calling me a cunt?"



:D

Blackula Spectacula
04-14-2008, 11:27 PM
An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini,
"I want to feel your breasts," he said.
"Get away from me, you dirty old man," she replied.
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you $5" he says.
"$5 ?!! Get away from me!"
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you $10" he says.
"NO! Get away from me!"
"$50" he says.
She pauses to think about it, but then comes to her senses & says, "I said NO!"
"$100 if you let me feel your breasts," he says.
She thinks, well he is old ... and $100 would be very handy...."Well, OK...but only for a minute," she says.

She loosens her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slides his hands underneath and begins to feel...and then he starts saying OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...while he is caressing them. So out of curiosity, she asks him "Why do you keep saying 'Oh my god'?"
While continuing to fondle her tits he answers "OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD... Where am I ever going to get $100 ?"

:D

SKAMPOE
04-14-2008, 11:32 PM
whut do u say to a puerto rican with a suit n tie?

TSA
04-14-2008, 11:33 PM
Wzo9shnyX8c

SKAMPOE
04-14-2008, 11:34 PM
will defendant please rise!

SKAMPOE
04-14-2008, 11:36 PM
how do u get 100 black chix in a small closet?






































throw a welfare chek in there!

Blackula Spectacula
04-14-2008, 11:37 PM
Hahaha I know Shaolin gonna wanna kill me for this one buuuut.

What does NAACP stand for?

























Now Apes Are Called People


XD

SKAMPOE
04-14-2008, 11:37 PM
y do whites put their trash in clear plastic bags?









































so black people can window shop!

Blackula Spectacula
04-14-2008, 11:38 PM
how do u get 100 black chix in a small closet?






































throw a welfare chek in there!

Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?




Because they have pubes on their heads!
XD

SKAMPOE
04-14-2008, 11:38 PM
whut does black people and apples have in common?














































































































they both look good hangin from trees!

TSA
04-14-2008, 11:42 PM
http://i258.photobucket.com/albums/hh254/bumpyjones3/cubanlinxpt2.jpg

Blackula Spectacula
04-14-2008, 11:42 PM
y do whites put their trash in clear plastic bags?









































so black people can window shop!

What do you call a Puerto Rical midget?

A spec.

GET IT ?! A SPEC .. HO HO HO that made me chuckle

TSA
04-14-2008, 11:43 PM
http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e53/8926559/Latin%20America%20to%20me/latin.gif

SKAMPOE
04-14-2008, 11:44 PM
whut do u call da green nigger on the porch?








































































dats my fuckin nigger,
n i paint him however the fuck color i want!

TSA
04-14-2008, 11:45 PM
http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l28/Princekon/Clarence13X.jpg

SKAMPOE
04-14-2008, 11:46 PM
peace to da father

TSA
04-14-2008, 11:46 PM
http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x33/Lovely_2007_02/fat_joe.jpg

TSA
04-14-2008, 11:48 PM
peace to da father
+1

SKAMPOE
04-14-2008, 11:49 PM
whut do u call tsa wit a peg leg?








































shit on a stick!!

TSA
04-14-2008, 11:50 PM
http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff29/Pimplegionrecords/Skampaldo.jpg






























http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff29/Pimplegionrecords/skamPosed.jpg
http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff29/Pimplegionrecords/skampoesed1.jpg










































http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff29/Pimplegionrecords/Skampoe3-1.jpg

SKAMPOE
04-14-2008, 11:51 PM
y does tsa have white hands and feet?






































he was on all fours when god spray painted him!!!

Blackula Spectacula
04-14-2008, 11:52 PM
Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature?

Because spray paint wasn't invented until 1949.



What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire?

Drowns


What does a redneck say after sex?

Thanks Mom.


What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

How do you swat 200 flies at one time?

Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

How do you circumcise a redneck?

Kick his sister in the chin.

x7fifteen4
04-14-2008, 11:53 PM
I went to the doctor's office for an examination. The doc came in and told me I needed to stop masturbating. I said " Why, what's the problem?" He said, " Well, I have a lot of patients waiting and we need to start this examination".

SKAMPOE
04-14-2008, 11:55 PM
hahahahahahaa ahahaha aaaahahahahahahaha ahahaha ha



whut do u call a chineese nigger wit aids?


































coon gon dy soon!!

SKAMPOE
04-14-2008, 11:57 PM
whut does fubu stand for?





















farmers useto buy us

Blackula Spectacula
04-15-2008, 12:02 AM
What do you do when you see someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of dirty laundry.

SKAMPOE
04-15-2008, 12:05 AM
hahahahahahahahahahahaha haa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaa

RustyFangz
04-15-2008, 12:05 AM
Why couldn't ray charles read?

Because he was black.

SKAMPOE
04-15-2008, 12:06 AM
whut does one fag say to da other fag?



can i help u pack ur shit?

SKAMPOE
04-15-2008, 12:08 AM
How do you know when you're in a gay church?
Only half the congregation kneels to pray! -Robyn

What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar?
May I push your stool in? -Pete

What does AIDS stand for?
Anally Injected Death Sentence. -Pete

A lesbian goes into a brothel and asks for the prettiest, youngest girl availible. The owner replies, "Sorry, we don't sell minors to lickers"

How do you know if you're at a gay picnic?
The hotdogs taste like shit!

Four fags are sitting in a hot tub. They notice some sperm rising to the surface. One fag says, "Ok, who farted?"

How do you fit three gays on one barstool?
Turn it upside-down! -syanide-mike

What do you call a ship full of fags?
The navy! -Jake

What do you call a gay guy in a wheelchair?
Rolaids -Chris

What's the difference between a refridgerator and a fag?
The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out! -zeiglar

What did one gay sperm say to the other?
How are we ever gonna find an egg in all this shit?

What do you call a mix between a Homo and a Dinosaur?
A Mega-sore-ass! -Tom

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A "Lickalotapus" - Otto

What kind of dog would a lesbian never have?
A weiner dog! - Liz

Why'd the fag get fired from the sperm bank?
They caught him drinking on the job - Otto

What do you call a lesbian eskimo?
A Klondike - otto

What's the first symptom of AIDS?
A sharp, stabbing pain in your rectum. - fat ginger

What did the gay fireman say on 9/11?
It's raining men! Hallelujah! It's raining men! AMEN!!!! - jahjah

Blackula Spectacula
04-15-2008, 12:08 AM
What do the KKK and Steroids have in common?




They both make black men run faster!

XD

SKAMPOE
04-15-2008, 12:09 AM
spics












What do you call kids whose parent's are white and mexican?
Crackers and beans! - Blade

What do you call a little mexican?
A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay. -Mike

Why aren't there any spics on Star Trek?
They won't work in the future either!

What do you call a gang of spics running down a hill?
Jailbreak!

Why do blacks put their garbage in clear bags?
So puerto ricans can window shop! -jesse

Why do spics drive lowriders?
So they can drive while they pick strawberries.

What do you call a mexican getting baptised?
Bean dip! -

2L8Lit da croatianMC
04-15-2008, 12:10 AM
hahahahahahha at the thread...

RustyFangz
04-15-2008, 12:12 AM
A black and a baboon walk into a bar...barkeep says,"Hey buddy, you cant bring that disease ridden animal in here!" Baboon says"yea, but where am I gonna find a cage for him at this time of night?"

Blackula Spectacula
04-15-2008, 12:13 AM
What do you do when your womans watch breaks?








Nothing there's a clock on the stove.

lmao ... smh .

SKAMPOE
04-15-2008, 12:13 AM
damn right

Blackula Spectacula
04-15-2008, 12:14 AM
How do you blindfold a chinese person?

Dental floss.

SKAMPOE
04-15-2008, 12:16 AM
How do you know if a chink robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway

RustyFangz
04-15-2008, 12:16 AM
Why can't stevie wonder count money?

Because he's black.

RustyFangz
04-15-2008, 12:17 AM
How do you know if a chink robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway

lol!

SKAMPOE
04-15-2008, 12:18 AM
whut does blacula have in common with noodles?
































they both wiggle when u eat em!!!

RustyFangz
04-15-2008, 12:19 AM
What's the difference between a hard working spic and a UFO?

There have actually been UFO sightings.

Blackula Spectacula
04-15-2008, 12:19 AM
What did the little black boy say when he got diarrhea?












I'm meeeeellllltiiiiing!
XD

Blackula Spectacula
04-15-2008, 12:20 AM
whut does blacula have in common with noodles?
































they both wiggle when u eat em!!!

Cute .. Real cute Fatso

SKAMPOE
04-15-2008, 12:34 AM
dont laugh at the weight, ur not so thin ur self fatty

Blackula Spectacula
04-15-2008, 12:37 AM
dont laugh at the weight, ur not so thin ur self fatty

I maybe thick .. but i'm not huge like you papi so dont compare yourself to me.

SKAMPOE
04-15-2008, 12:38 AM
give it a couple years, ur colombian u got it in ur genes

EAGLE EYE
04-15-2008, 12:40 AM
yea after seeing what 'wheres waldo' rendition of skampoes photos that TSA made, I kinda did a double take cuz I knew skamp was fat, but 4 real hes reallllllllllllllly fat.


Like so fat that if I load up google Earth and aim my coordinates at bridgeport, ct I can probably see him walking around trying to sell cigarettes on the street.

Blackula Spectacula
04-15-2008, 12:42 AM
yea after seeing what 'wheres waldo' rendition of skampoes photos that TSA made, I kinda did a double take cuz I knew skamp was fat, but 4 real hes reallllllllllllllly fat.


Like so fat that if I load up google Earth and aim my coordinates at bridgeport, ct I can probably see him walking around trying to sell cigarettes on the street.

Hahahahahaha!

SKAMPOE
04-15-2008, 12:44 AM
http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb165/skampoe/rob.jpg

EAGLE EYE
04-15-2008, 12:54 AM
i dont even need photos to destroy you. They are just a luxury.

SKAMPOE
04-15-2008, 12:59 AM
http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb165/skampoe/rob-1.jpg

EAGLE EYE
04-15-2008, 01:03 AM
LMAO at you googling random kids that are like 13.


Your a creep. I wonder what wifey would say if she walked in on u

SKAMPOE
04-15-2008, 01:10 AM
http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb165/skampoe/anger.jpg

crust
04-15-2008, 01:49 AM
what do you get when you mix a samoan and a nigger?

sa-more niggers.

fortyglock
04-15-2008, 07:29 AM
How do u make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off it's head

What's better than 20 babies in 1 dustbin?
1 baby in 20 dustbins

What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

Why did the toddler drop its lollipop?
It got hit by a truck

What's red, bubbly and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave

What do you call a baby on a stick?
A kebabie

BTTR KNG KOOL
04-15-2008, 08:24 AM
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA

VZA
04-15-2008, 08:34 AM
What's the difference between madeline mccann and the pope?


The pope died a virgin.

BTTR KNG KOOL
04-15-2008, 08:41 AM
What do u call an ethiopian that poops?

A. A show off

6 Chambaz
04-15-2008, 10:04 AM
yea after seeing what 'wheres waldo' rendition of skampoes photos that TSA made, I kinda did a double take cuz I knew skamp was fat, but 4 real hes reallllllllllllllly fat.


Like so fat that if I load up google Earth and aim my coordinates at bridgeport, ct I can probably see him walking around trying to sell cigarettes on the street.
sonned

THE W
04-15-2008, 10:22 AM
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA
HAHAHAHAHA

Art Vandelay
04-15-2008, 11:53 AM
Why is it difficult for a girl to pee in the morning?


Did you ever try peeling a grilled cheese sandwhich apart?

Prince Rai
04-15-2008, 12:21 PM
im picturing it. quite a sight

Blackula Spectacula
04-15-2008, 12:38 PM
Why is it difficult for a girl to pee in the morning?


Did you ever try peeling a grilled cheese sandwhich apart?

I Have no problem peeing the morning .. feels great peein the morning actually.

Prince Rai
04-15-2008, 12:53 PM
interesting conversation developing here.
soon there will be investments in making documentaries about early morning urinations and their consequences on psychological welfare.

Prince Rai
04-15-2008, 12:56 PM
sarcasm stinks.

Art Vandelay
04-15-2008, 12:56 PM
What's the difference between period blood and sand?






You can't gargle sand!

Art Vandelay
04-15-2008, 10:42 PM
What doe a Peurto Rican and a cue ball have in common??





The harder you hit them, the more English they pick up.

MAYOR QUIMBY
04-15-2008, 11:19 PM
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f283/LostBoy8282/weird/NastyFeet.gif

SKAMPOE
04-16-2008, 12:17 AM
Why is it difficult for a girl to pee in the morning?


Did you ever try peeling a grilled cheese sandwhich apart?
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD DATS DISGUSTING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH AHAHAHAHAHA ALL YELLOW MUSH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SICK SICK

SKAMPOE
04-16-2008, 12:18 AM
What doe a Peurto Rican and a cue ball have in common??




The harder you hit them, the more English they pick up.

EY! FUCK U U FUCKIN MARICON!!

Art Vandelay
04-16-2008, 11:33 AM
EY! FUCK U U FUCKIN MARICON!!


come on, kid. now that was a funny joke.

Art Vandelay
04-17-2008, 03:14 AM
What's the worst part about fucking a 5 year old??



Getting the blood stains out of the clown costume.

Art Vandelay
04-22-2008, 12:28 AM
A priest is teaching an altar boy to swim. the altar boy says, "Father, will i really sink if you pull your finger out?"

Sicka than aidZ
04-22-2008, 12:34 AM
daughter asks her dad if she can borrow the car. dad says u gotta suck my dick. she starts suckin and says "dad your dick tastes like shit" and he replies "thats cuz your brother already asked to use the car an hour ago

Sgt Holly Wood
04-22-2008, 12:36 AM
i got 3

some lady goes to a doctor and asks him "doctor how can i loose 12 pounds of ugly fat" and the doctor responds "cut ur head off"


second one...

some guy rushed through the emergency room and tells a doctor "i only have 59 seconds to live" and the doctor responds "im busy, wait a minute"

third

some guy's mother in law is getting beaten up by 6 diesel ass niggas, and the guy passes by and hears his neighbor ask "arent u gonna help out ?" and the guy responds "nah 6 should take care of it"


HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!

Mumm Ra
04-22-2008, 01:31 AM
what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
nothing, you already told her twice


whats the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds?
there's twenty of them

Art Vandelay
04-22-2008, 11:26 AM
A jewish asks, "Dad, can i borrow 40 dollars?" he says "30 dollars?, what do you need 20 dollars for?"

TheWolf
04-22-2008, 04:25 PM
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawkings, after a house fire.

DUMBO
04-22-2008, 06:10 PM
what do you call a group of dead wops?



the 11th division of the Italian army.

oldie
04-22-2008, 08:17 PM
whats the best thing about 23 year olds?
theres 20 of em

oldie
04-22-2008, 08:19 PM
whats black and screams? Stevie wonder answering the iron

MAYOR QUIMBY
04-22-2008, 10:11 PM
What's the worst part about fucking a 5 year old??



Getting the blood stains out of the clown costume.
?? I don't get it.

Art Vandelay
04-22-2008, 11:25 PM
?? I don't get it.

i guess that you've either...

A) never had a virgin
B) never lured a minor while wearing a clown costume
or
C) never done a combination of the two

NY_Mami
04-23-2008, 05:41 AM
hahahahahahaa ahahaha aaaahahahahahahaha ahahaha ha



whut do u call a chineese nigger wit aids?


































coon gon dy soon!!

LMFAO!!!!!!!!.......

MAYOR QUIMBY
04-30-2008, 12:23 AM
Whats the difference between a nigger and a pizza?





A pizza can feed a family of four.

MAYOR QUIMBY
04-30-2008, 12:25 AM
Whats do u do when you see a nigger with one leg?







Stop laughing and reload!

Art Vandelay
04-30-2008, 11:17 AM
what's the difference between a band leader and a gynecologist?






a band leader fucks his singers (say it out loud a few times, you'll eventually get it)

DJMethods
04-30-2008, 11:20 AM
What do you call 10 black people at the bottom of the ocean?








A good start

Prince Rai
04-30-2008, 11:28 AM
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y18/princerai/JesusOnToilet.jpg

Art Vandelay
10-10-2008, 01:48 AM
what's the difference between jelly and jam???















you can't jelly your cock down a girl's throat.

The Hound
10-10-2008, 01:50 AM
what's long, black and stinks?

welfare line

J-Cee
10-10-2008, 02:15 AM
lmao..some good ones in here.LOL

The Hound
10-10-2008, 06:54 AM
what's the most confusing day in harlem?

father's day

BAH HA HA HA HA HAH HOR HOR HOR LMFAOROFLCOPAKESIFHWEIOGFDS

what's the worst thing about 4 asians driving off a cliff in a cadillac?

CADILLAC SEATS 5 HAHAHAHAHRUEGFUWEFGWIWSIBS -dead

LORD NOSE
10-12-2008, 12:22 PM
Originally Posted by DEF
if it wasn't no niggas, there wouldn't be any white people

white people are the offspring of black people and hairless rats from france

someone poured a bottle of Black man sperm up the pussy of a diseased hairless albino rat and the rat gave birth to the first litter of white people who enjoyed the hamster wheel and who neatly kept their shit pellets in the corner of their cage



true story



__________________________________________________ _______

Art Vandelay
11-21-2008, 02:15 AM
whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus?












it only takes one nail to hang a picture of jesus

Shogah
11-21-2008, 08:07 AM
whats the difference between a Jew and a Santa Clause?







Santa comes through the chimney and leaves through the door.
Jews go other way around.

Olive Oil Goombah
11-21-2008, 08:16 AM
What do JFK and Obama have in common??



NOthing......YET.





How do you starve a black man?





Hide his foodstamps under his workboots.



Whats the difference between a large pizza and a black man?



A large pizza can feed a family of four.

KLIION JENSEN
11-21-2008, 08:22 AM
whats green & eats nuts ??

syphilis

-------

why do gay men have moustaches ??

to hide the stretchmarks

-------

JamSix
11-21-2008, 11:16 AM
Dunno if this has been posted yet i didnt look through the whole thread

What do you call a broad with 2 black eyes?

Nothin' that you havent already told her twice


How do you kill 100 flies at once?

Slap a somalian.


Whats the difference between a Sumo wrestler and a feminist?

Sumo wrestlers shave their legs.

MAYOR QUIMBY
11-21-2008, 02:06 PM
what's the difference between a band leader and a gynecologist?






a band leader fucks his singers (say it out loud a few times, you'll eventually get it)
I've been at it for a couple of minutes. Still don't get it... :?

Art Vandelay
11-21-2008, 02:12 PM
I've been at it for a couple of minutes. Still don't get it... :?


band leader fucks his singers

gynecologist sucks his fingers

check two
11-21-2008, 02:32 PM
What happens when an ugly black guy and an ulgy black woman sleep together?

http://www.baseball-almanac.com/players/pics/otis_nixon_autograph.jpg

Art Vandelay
11-21-2008, 04:39 PM
What happens when an ugly black guy and an ulgy black woman sleep together?




http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/image.php?u=34332&type=sigpic&dateline=1227224873