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STYLE
04-17-2008, 04:45 AM
post ur anti-jokes here...


a man walks into a bar....

alcoholism is destroying his family.






What do a cat, plant, and sea monkeys have in common?

All three have suffered tragic deaths from neglect, due to my fickle interests.




Did you hear the one bout the crazy old man from Georgia?

He died alone in a mental institution.

INF
04-17-2008, 04:47 AM
We Will all Die one day.

Art Vandelay
04-17-2008, 04:48 AM
http://img54.imageshack.us/img54/7199/ericbrakimrm9.jpg

INF
04-17-2008, 04:49 AM
trees are dying.

STYLE
04-17-2008, 04:53 AM
whats the difference between your girlfriend and a pig?
i don't have a pig bound and gagged in the trunk of my car

Robert
04-17-2008, 05:28 AM
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it lacked the forward thinking capacity to come to the conclusion that crossing the road while automotive vehicles are travelling in both directions at speeds in excess of 80km/hour being driven by motorists with have little concern for flightless avians wasn't a good idea!

Tyler Durden
04-17-2008, 05:28 AM
A peadofile moved in my neighbourhood.

2 Children have been missing since Friday.

Tyler Durden
04-17-2008, 05:30 AM
whats the difference between your girlfriend and a pig?
i don't have a pig bound and gagged in the trunk of my car

BY the way, that one IS funny

TSA
04-17-2008, 09:39 AM
the black man is the true living god and his proper name is Derrick not Derek

it just turns out that his dad has the worst memory EVER and his mom was in nigeria when he learned to spell his name

so he told him it was Derek, and not Derrick cause that was gay (and i agree)

so he spelt his name wrong until 8th grade when an administrator came into class and told him in private,

but he blurted it out loud anyways and everyone had a good laugh


then he continued to spell his name wrong cause it was nature


so now he's having tax problems, application problems, and so forth, but it's all good at atleast he's a Derek as opposed to an unimportant less memorable Derrick

and sometimes he thinks it's Derick but doesn't remember

Prince Rai
04-17-2008, 09:55 AM
what does an indian and a chinese business man have in common?

both are contributing to global warming due to their lust for wealth.

Prince Rai
04-17-2008, 09:56 AM
what do pigeons and eagles share?

both have wing structures enabling them to fly. the structure of most eagles are slightly advanced, allowing them to fly at higher levels.

Masta Chilla
04-17-2008, 11:26 AM
why did the ninja wear a bath-robe?

because he had taken a bath.

begongo
04-17-2008, 12:16 PM
why are white people devils?

it wuz writtun

STYLE
04-17-2008, 12:19 PM
the black man is the true living god and his proper name is Derrick not Derek

it just turns out that his dad has the worst memory EVER and his mom was in nigeria when he learned to spell his name

so he told him it was Derek, and not Derrick cause that was gay (and i agree)

so he spelt his name wrong until 8th grade when an administrator came into class and told him in private,

but he blurted it out loud anyways and everyone had a good laugh


then he continued to spell his name wrong cause it was nature


so now he's having tax problems, application problems, and so forth, but it's all good at atleast he's a Derek as opposed to an unimportant less memorable Derrick

and sometimes he thinks it's Derick but doesn't remember


this is the anti-joke thread
not the hilarious life is a joke thread


ziiiiing!

why are white people devils?

it wuz writtun


why are white people devils?

due to their savage nature, whites though far from it, claim superiority to justify their inhumane treatment of the rest of humanity and their blatant disregard for mother earth.

Prince Rai
04-17-2008, 12:21 PM
why are white people devils?

it wuz writtun


unfortunately i laughed slightly.

DR. NICK RIVIERA
04-17-2008, 12:23 PM
Why did the chicken crossed the road?









































































Nobody cares but you, loser.

begongo
04-17-2008, 12:26 PM
I appologize for failing the white people are devils anti-joke

*leaves thread embarrassed*

Prince Rai
04-17-2008, 12:29 PM
I appologize for failing the white people are devils anti-joke

*leaves thread embarrassed*


now u killed the joke.

*begongo re-enters*

begongo
04-17-2008, 12:43 PM
now u killed the joke.

*begongo re-enters*
:hooray::cheerlie::hooray:



which one was first? the chicken or the egg?


the egg

Sicka than aidZ
04-17-2008, 12:54 PM
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it lacked the forward thinking capacity to come to the conclusion that crossing the road while automotive vehicles are travelling in both directions at speeds in excess of 80km/hour being driven by motorists with have little concern for flightless avians wasn't a good idea!
hahaa!


So Why'd TSA cross the road?










































cuz His dick was stuck in the chicken

DR. NICK RIVIERA
04-17-2008, 12:55 PM
no, both. ^^^@ Begongo

begongo
04-17-2008, 12:58 PM
no both what

Sicka than aidZ
04-17-2008, 01:04 PM
i aint got beef with begongo..... Shit i dont got beef with TSA either i just like stirring the brotha up. see im the king of starting shit str8 up. Not a hard job, ill get at anyone who leaves themselves wide open man thats why were here isnt it?

Wu-Disciple
04-17-2008, 01:04 PM
Trick Daddy is the Greatest MC of All Time.

crass
04-17-2008, 01:05 PM
How does Bill Gates get into his house?


















































He uses windows!

Sicka than aidZ
04-17-2008, 01:06 PM
yeah trick dad he aight, more gangsta than most cats on MTV

Longbongcilvaringz
04-17-2008, 01:10 PM
http://www.thecorpse.com/forums/uploads/post-69-1093046225.gif

TSA
04-17-2008, 01:12 PM
a black guy in a cadillac pulls up, what do you call if
































































you quit frankly wouldn't feel comfortable calling him, or making eye contact, so you hold you wheel and continue to look forwards fighting urges to stare.

i suppose if you know him you gesture, or say something, but you hate accidental run ins with people that go on for too long. Like if they walk by and say hi and you say hi that's not so bad, but stuck at a traffic light being forced to talk to eachother unplanned, you hate that cause it's akward and you feel obligated to since you know him.

The worst part is you know he feels the same way, so even if you had a conversation it's awkward and your hoping for the light to turn to that you can drive off at a speed purposely faster or slower then his to preserve your valued solitude.

Sicka than aidZ
04-17-2008, 01:17 PM
1 on 1 with a brotha? , naw aint gonna fade me. i'd be like "stare hard retard" and laugh my ass off

dezmond
04-17-2008, 01:47 PM
Guess what y'alll...



Pork gives you cancer...
:cheerlie:

Sicka than aidZ
04-17-2008, 01:55 PM
1 on 1 with a brotha? , naw aint gonna fade me. i'd be like "stare hard retard" and laugh my ass off

Speaking of white vs black... Here's a joke u wont think is funny


Wanna know why black folks call white boys honkey's??

















































Cuz it's the last thing they hear before we run em over:vroar::vroar::vroar:Hahaaa!

STYLE
04-17-2008, 03:09 PM
hear bout the old lady that loved pussy to death?






























http://nsfw.sidewayspony.com/images/trough/production/2008/apr/17/82562_formatted_039_podborka.jpg

SickSide
04-17-2008, 05:11 PM
How do you know it's bed time at Michael Jaskson's house?

When Michael Jackson is tired.

SickSide
04-17-2008, 05:17 PM
Once there was a man who lived with his family in Africa. They were very poor, and never had enough to eat. One day the man said "I'll run in the Olympics and when I win the gold medal, I'll be able to feed my family!"
He practiced and practiced, but then one day he lost both his legs in a lawnmower accident and never walked again.



Your momma's so fat, she bought an issue of Cosmo for an article on breast self-exams but became deeply depressed when bombarded by page after page of images perpetuating an impossible standard of beauty. That night she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep.



Your momma's so fat, she tried to go on the Atkins diet but couldn't make it through the induction phase because her cravings for sweets and complex carbohydrates proved too powerful to overcome.


A man is in a car accident, and his genitals are horribly mutilated. When he awakes, the doctor tells him that they can create a new one for him, but it is an expensive operation. The operation costs ?1000 an inch. He is urged to go home and discuss the matter with his wife. The next day, the man comes back looking miserable. The doctor looks at him and asks him what the problem is. "I discussed the matter with my wife and she said she'd prefer a fitted kitchen. So I killed her."

SickSide
04-17-2008, 05:21 PM
A Jew, a Black guy, and an Asian walk into a bar.......














what a fine example of multiculturism

SickSide
04-17-2008, 05:26 PM
Watch this STYLEMASTERR

svLyyzBC_qI

Good "Anti-Jokes"

SickSide
04-17-2008, 05:38 PM
How many Pakistanis can you fit in a Mini???

4 and possibly a small child

Olive Oil Goombah
04-17-2008, 05:47 PM
How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One...just one.


Horse walks into a bar, bartender goes nuts and calls the police.


A priest, a rabbi and a minister are sitting at the bar.

They are using embezzled donations to get drunk.

SickSide
04-17-2008, 05:49 PM
A priest, a rabbi and a minister are sitting at the bar.

They are using embezzled donations to get drunk.


haha i like this one

heres 1 more...

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in water?

a very unfortunate person with severe physical impairments who clearly needs assistance

SickSide
04-17-2008, 06:09 PM
My dog's got no nose.

How does he smell?

Well we can never be 100% certain of what another living creature is experiencing. Even you, with the greatest of respect, could be a figment of my imagination.

Prince Rai
04-17-2008, 07:08 PM
what did the horse do after it accidently drank poison?



it survived.

Prince Rai
04-17-2008, 07:10 PM
who won the last paralympics with most medals?

the white one.

SickSide
04-17-2008, 07:16 PM
What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
An ambulance, he may be severely injured and in need of medical attention.

crust
04-17-2008, 07:17 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v24/xitsthelawx/Koala.jpg

King Tron 1
04-17-2008, 07:18 PM
Nice one, SCHMERK. Can't say that I didn't chuckle at a few of yours.