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Born Ruler I
08-17-2005, 10:06 AM
As the well fills up to its rim it seems grim
when you're hanging on to life by a limb holding a limb
ducts burst, crystalline prism droplets from your optics
every level seems to crumble, whether micro or macroscopic
understand the entire planet bows down to your presence
Illuminati illumination lacks the purity of your essence
they named the fame city of France for you, Per Isis
then dismantled you holistically with imperial devices
even as the earth cries in acid rain pain
you're the physical embodiment of exactly the same thing
so when the rain falls in streams from the pinholes of your windows
just imagine my whisper, kiss your face, Queen, when the wind blows
alcoholic libation blocks the left brain from functionin
right brain intuition's what you crave, so you get drunk again
logic and reason led to all the bloodshed
while universal law under Ma'at remains stead
so if you feel a little blue, understand about the hue
it's a temporary illusion, caused by diffusion
of droplets bending light for the appearance of saphire
you're the one I admire, supplier of the last fire
Kundalini to scorch and cleanse the body of the earth
and together we can bring about the dawn of a new birth
even though humanity is groomed to be doomed
we'll resurrect and be reborn through your beautiful womb

GuardianOne
08-17-2005, 10:17 AM
Its an interesting verse, has this ringing flow to it. And it kind of swayed forward in its follow. Nice effect. But try not to make the last word be very important in your rhyme it looses the effect ( or power) the verse has. Cause it seems the sentence (or rhyme)is pushed to the last word (that is suppose to have a large impact-knowledge wise) but then it turns out to be just part of the verse. Work on that. But its a nice style-knowledgeable but contains its fair share of creative mix. And well placed also (kind of gives that drifting effect)

Peace
PS: Keep posting