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View Full Version : Duh Affishal Handshake Discussion Thread


TSA
05-05-2008, 07:24 PM
Humanface got me thinking of the importance of a nice firm grip (no norway, unless that's your lifestyle, i won't judge you)

so lets talk about handshakes.



how do you shake?

do you set the pace?

firm grip?

military grip?

any niggerish patterns i need to know about?



we got a niggerish pattern renassiance here in lincoln, we do the finger point while still shaking, the O-O-O-O Riiieellllyyy'sssssss (BV and white shao that is), and so forth, but i'll have to say my favorite handshakes are in nigeria

i'd have to say with EASE nigerians are the handshake kings

http://content.undp.org/assets/images/367608.jpg

the do a give me some skin type, but we snap fingers as we pull away..eachothers fingers

like imagine giving dap, then snapping fingers as you pulling away on eachothers fingers, not your own, it sounds hard but the key is to just not think about it and you nail it. it makes all other hand shakes inferior

there's allow the "chiefs in secert cults" shakes where the slap the back of their hands a bunch of times and say

SUO!

SUO!

SUO!

until finally coming around for a nice strong snap-dap


or they do that and the other one says ego boosting shit about the other


like

CHIEF!

HONORABLE 1(said as a number and not as in 'one' the person!)

DOCTOR!

GENERAL!


and random chieftancy names/nicknames

like Mmawu aaawwooo! (the Mmawu of awo)

and so forth.








how about ya'll?

TSA
05-05-2008, 07:26 PM
oh, and white people, you overrate your handshake game, ya'll are starting to suck...with all that wierd shit.


i had this guy shaking my hand cause he was scared i came into the party, then out of nowhere raises his elbow all neck length

i was all....wtf?

first emo, then Robby Digital, then bad handshaking fads?


that's a foul on the racial scoreboard

Dokuro
05-05-2008, 07:31 PM
dont hand shake i bow......













it a religious thing

HANZO
05-05-2008, 07:34 PM
i crush ppls hands. if they can take the pain they gain my respect.

TheWolf
05-05-2008, 07:38 PM
Just a normal shake.
Not a 'I got a small dick, so I'm gonna crush your hand' type shake.
But not a limp wristed 'I hope you got a big dick' type shake either.

You guys kiss your femalefriends when you see em?

TAURO
05-05-2008, 07:44 PM
Im a firm handshaker. I was taught that a handshake tells alot about your character, a strong firm handshake is a sign of a strong character and assurdness.

Prolifical ENG
05-05-2008, 07:46 PM
I set the pace and the grip because when I shake hands with most people it feels like a wet fish

http://adsoftheworld.com/files/images/CasallFishyHandshake.preview.jpg

lets just do it proper

http://www.photoshoptalent.com/images/contests/peace/fullsize/peace_46fd5e8cdc132.jpg

Lil' Ruger
05-05-2008, 07:51 PM
depends if their white or black if they white i dont wanna look like sum dumb nigger so i firm military shake dat shit. if they kool maybe not even if dey black but if dey kool i just make sum shit up just to be like wats gud? Ya DIGG? lol

Sicka than aidZ
05-05-2008, 07:59 PM
I set the pace and the grip because when I shake hands with most people it feels like a wet fish

http://adsoftheworld.com/files/images/CasallFishyHandshake.preview.jpg

lets just do it proper

http://www.photoshoptalent.com/images/contests/peace/fullsize/peace_46fd5e8cdc132.jpg
hahahahahahahahahaaaaa....... Naw i dont see the big deal i aint a real big handshaker. Maybe its just me tho i dont know

What about kissin a bitches hand have u ever greeted some hot girl like that?

TSA
05-05-2008, 08:01 PM
aww, the "i have sever racial inferiority complex issues so i change myself infront of other people cause there judgement hurts me" shake


nice

mawdz, fix the spelling in the title btw.

me and white shao do the jazz and will smiff shake at departure

when i shake older nigerians hands i hold my wrist with the other

most of the time just old africans i guess

it's a sign of respekindachek

King Tron 1
05-05-2008, 08:04 PM
Just the shit that Will Smith & Jazz used to do on Fresh Prince.

You have to do the Psshht part or it doesn't count.

TSA
05-05-2008, 08:07 PM
oh.....we do the psshhttt(no norway)

....we do the psshhhtt(no norway)

HANZO
05-05-2008, 08:16 PM
i think the fresh prince handshake is a must have in everyones handshake arsenal.

Prolifical ENG
05-05-2008, 08:22 PM
aight thread title is edited....yeah!

http://blogs.ilog.com/brms/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/handshake.jpeg

SKAMPOE
05-05-2008, 08:48 PM
tsa is just mad cuz his moms aint lettem play in da sand box as a yoof cuz cats kept tryna cover him up!
































cuz hes black as shit!

SKAMPOE
05-05-2008, 09:30 PM
Hehehe

11th Chamber
05-05-2008, 09:31 PM
It depends on who the person is, to determine the handshake

If its one of my boys im not gonna give a firm job interview style handshake, but if its a white person or someone I dont know than thats the firm shhh

TSA
05-06-2008, 01:39 AM
me and my boys have acutally started giving interview type handshakes to eachother,

there's kind of a 'fake acting really serious and professional' humor in duh croo, so yeah.

it usually starts with

"Oh my god....are...are you.....JB?"

"why yes.....i would be him.."

"..Oh my god, your were voted fo-fo flipper of the year by maxim magazine..."
*extents hand*
"It's good to me you man....it's good to meet you..."
*firm honkey handshake*

Surreptitious
05-06-2008, 01:45 AM
TSA, I'm white, no lame ass handshake bullshit going on here, just a firm grip thats it

TSA
05-06-2008, 01:51 AM
indeed.

my cripplingly white friend says he gets nervous when black ppl wanna shake his hand cause each one does some new shit lol

the fuck is huggah with some expert insight?

STYLE
05-06-2008, 05:32 AM
in college we had so many handshake/daps/gangshakes that it would literally take like 3 mins to dap the crew. so it all devolved into the "starting lineup intro" run down the line with a quick hand slap.

close friends get the gripright hugleft

associates get the flavor of the month.

randoms get the fist tap

in business i give everyone the "blackman grip" handshake. 1st standard downwards then flip it to the upwards power position. i find it breaks all formalities and eases the tension of "business meeting" protocol.

in my meetings with coke and turner broadcasting i had my power charcoal 3 piece pinstripe oscar de la renta and my D&G eyeglasses looking like a 1/2 a billion then hit em with the black grip and smiled to expose my ice fangs...... it throws any game they have completely off. especially when i drop science.

TSA
05-06-2008, 09:43 AM
AHAHAHAHAHhahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!AHAHAHAHAHhahahAH AH!!!!!!!AHAHAH!!


Stylemaster is the white man's god.

SKAMPOE
05-06-2008, 01:36 PM
tsa is just mad cuz his moms aint lettem play in da sand box as a yoof cuz cats kept tryna cover him up!
































cuz hes black as shit!
cant belive ya fuckers slept on this!^^:(W

11th Chamber
05-06-2008, 04:06 PM
"Oh my god....are...are you.....JB?"

"why yes.....i would be him.."

"..Oh my god, your were voted fo-fo flipper of the year by maxim magazine..."
*extents hand*
"It's good to me you man....it's good to meet you..."
*firm honkey handshake*

hahahaha

TSA
05-06-2008, 05:17 PM
my proofreading skills are a fuckin cripple lol

NIGHT MAYOR
05-07-2008, 05:47 AM
aight thread title is edited....yeah!

http://blogs.ilog.com/brms/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/handshake.jpeg

thats our shit right there - no two hands, no half hug like you dark peoples in america - maybe just a pound of the fists after - but thats only for my nicas - anyone i dont know just gets a normal handsharke, the picture is for peoples i know, the picture and post pound is for my homeboys *nods*

RzaRectum
05-07-2008, 11:58 PM
cant belive ya fuckers slept on this!^^:(W
I can't believe you're actually mad about it. L::lmao::L

Huggasaurus Sex
05-11-2008, 02:22 PM
we could literally talk for days about handshakes. there's a lot more to it than most people think (too much to discuss here) but above all, the most important aspect of any handshake is the degree of muscular tension involved in the grip -- the firmness, if you will.

there's no way i can put into words how to execute a handshake with perfect firmness but needless to say that clowns like HAN have it all wrong. do not squeeze your fellow greeter's hand with all your strength. all that tells the other person is that a) you are an uncouth savage who doesn't know or cannot comprehend the importance of refined firmness in a handshake and b) you probably have a tiny penis.

that said, the quickest way to inform someone of your latent homosexuality is to dangle a floppy hand in front of them the first time you meet. i can tell you that dudes like dorian dreamo get no respect and it has nothing to do with the fact he wears eyeliner and listens to dashboard confessional and everything to do with his limp-wristed greetings.

so what defines a perfectly firm handshake? well the best i can say is you'll know it when you feel it. the hand should of course be grasped in a natural, dynamic manner and the grip should tighten swiftly and smoothly until the tension reaches a point of perfect equilibrium -- neither overpowering nor too weak -- and held. the firmness will be uniformly distributed throughout the wrist, palm, thumb, and fingers, and maintained without any apparent effort. upon later recollection of the handshake only one feeling should come to mind: firm.

a firm handshake, like any other skill, can only be honed with persistent practice. it may be useful for some if not most of you to strengthen your hands first with the appropriate hand exercises (do remember to stretch). i encourage you all to develop not just the ability to execute a firm handshake, but an appreciation for its sublime beauty as well.





















































































*EXTENDS HAND*

TSA
05-11-2008, 05:26 PM
damn.


that's real.


there's this faggot ass l9ittle girl that thinks she's a "boy deep inside" and wants to be called Ryan as opposed to Jordie (you name a kid Jordie and its tranny city from then on)

i shock the little faggots hand to test her manhood.

bitch shook my hand like a bitch, so i call her Jordie and everyone thinks im insensitive.


i tried explaining the handshake thing, but no one got it. faggots.

VZA
05-11-2008, 05:29 PM
The thing I hate most about myself is that when I'm drunk, I often get this weird habit of shaking girls hands. I don't know why I do it. It's so fucking formal.

Also, clammy hands are horrible, other than that I don't care how someone shakes hands.

GENERAL WISE
05-11-2008, 05:44 PM
http://www.arcent.army.mil/cflcc_today/2003/may/images/may04_13/08_02.jpg
ASALAMALEKUM

HANZO
05-11-2008, 05:45 PM
The Ultra-Turko-Fascist handshake.

this ones a weird one but its all about political affliation.

its sort of like a normal handshake but, the speciality is you make a wolf sign with your fingers. thats 3 fingers together and leave the pinky finger out. then you lock hands.

after that you make a move to the right and hit the skull of your opponent, then to the left, again clashing skulls together.

its important to move to the right first. if you flinch left your a commie.

TSA
05-11-2008, 05:48 PM
AHhahahaha!

GENERAL WISE
05-11-2008, 05:48 PM
Firm Hugstable, what's your opinion on the chin check?

TheWolf
05-11-2008, 05:48 PM
The Ultra-Turko-Fascist handshake.

this ones a weird one but its all about political affliation.

its sort of like a normal handshake but, the speciality is you make a wolf sign with your fingers. thats 3 fingers together and leave the pinky finger out. then you lock hands.

after that you make a move to the right and hit the skull of your opponent, then to the left, again clashing skulls together.

its important to move to the right first. if you flinch left your a commie.


Do not expose the cult of TheWolf

Bow to me, and you will be pardoned.


http://www.dogcastradio.com/images/WolfWatch1.jpg