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Jabba Jaw
08-18-2005, 11:08 AM
i stalk the streets, no guns im usin a pitch fork for heat
my thoughts are deep,watch ya lip when you talk to me
when im sayin ya name i aint playin a game its all for keeps
death is a sport to me,i breathe fire all hooded up
take ya dough n rape ya soul if its good enough
my purpose is evil, im the worthless decietfull
son of satan, the one you hatin
make you bleed without the nurses n needles
i drive a hearse full o people, im serious turn ya back n its over
you weeze n shake as you meet ya fate wit a tap on ya shoulder
relax, its a part of life i stop ya heart tonight wit a blackened revolver
leavin my mark of trife as i start my fight n take you back to your owner
i fear nothin, i hear nothin, my occupation is death
im like a doctor depriving my patients of breath
i was sent by satan himself, i live with demons so hell is my home
my heart is black with the sorrow of victims,im made of skeleton bones
nuthin can save not even knwoledge n wisdom or celluar phones
who you gonna call? the FBI, theyll be the next to die
i snuff ya dome n suck ya bones til nuthins left inside

im the grym reaper, im cold like the blade of a knife
im the grym reaper, the one whos takin ya life
im the grym reaper, the reason you shakin at night
im the grym reaper, its wrong but you aint makin it right

erm...
pretty dark shit

aint finished yet
hopefully ill get it finished another time


*ghost*

ramel
08-18-2005, 12:10 PM
i stalk the streets, no guns im usin a pitch fork for heat
my thoughts are deep,watch ya lip when you talk to me
when im sayin ya name i aint playin a game its all for keeps
death is a sport to me,i breathe fire all hooded up
take ya dough n rape ya soul if its good enough
my purpose is evil, im the worthless decietfull
son of satan, the one you hatin
make you bleed without the nurses n needles
i drive a hearse full o people, im serious turn ya back n its over
you weeze n shake as you meet ya fate wit a tap on ya shoulder
relax, its a part of life i stop ya heart tonight wit a blackened revolver
leavin my mark of trife as i start my fight n take you back to your owner
i fear nothin, i hear nothin, my occupation is death
im like a doctor depriving my patients of breath
i was sent by satan himself, i live with demons so hell is my home
my heart is black with the sorrow of victims,im made of skeleton bones
nuthin can save not even knwoledge n wisdom or celluar phones
who you gonna call? the FBI, theyll be the next to die
i snuff ya dome n suck ya bones til nuthins left inside

im the grym reaper, im cold like the blade of a knife
im the grym reaper, the one whos takin ya life
im the grym reaper, the reason you shakin at night
im the grym reaper, its wrong but you aint makin it right

erm...
pretty dark shit

aint finished yet
hopefully ill get it finished another time


*ghost*When Nas did "I gave you power" he was the gun.
Many lives were took in that song including his owner.
Now I know who took them.

*hears creepy music*

Maybe you should use the same beat & intro he used.
But instead of a gun you'll be death.

PEACEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jabba Jaw
08-19-2005, 11:05 AM
thanx for the feed back man

GuardianOne
08-21-2005, 07:10 AM
Its not dark shit at all, you weren't being creative enough. And the content is too basic if that was what you where trying to put accross. But it had its own measure.

Peace
PS: Keep posting

Jabba Jaw
08-22-2005, 04:22 AM
thanx yall

morgan
08-23-2005, 10:00 AM
aye keep posting that sht man , some crackin lines in there wi good wordplay and structure

"i drive a hearse full o people, im serious turn ya back n its over
you weeze n shake as you meet ya fate wit a tap on ya shoulder"

wicked flow there bruv, dint think to much to the hook, maybe go better leading into a second verse?

v nice thow

Jabba Jaw
08-26-2005, 11:13 AM
thanx for the feedback all yall

ima put a second verse to this soon n work on that hook

preciate the feed