View Full Version : My Mates Poem (Badger)

08-23-2005, 02:07 PM
This is a poem written by a mate of mine, he wrote it about two years ago for a school poem, chiggity check:


Badger, badger in the night,
Asleep in the daytime light,
What do you think when asleep?
Hiding in the woods so deep.

Using leaves to build a dome,
Where you can sleep all alone,
Underneath your fluffy paws,
Lay your sharp and deadly claws.

In the dark and gloomy woods,
The big great trees act as hoods,
A badgers life - good and bad,
Some of it happy, some sad.

Remember this was written two years ago at the age of 13, regardless... all feedback is appreciated. ONE

08-23-2005, 05:34 PM
why dont you put this in the poetry thread???

08-23-2005, 05:44 PM
'Cause I wanted some more complex critique and feedback on it... what you think ben? Holla back. ONE

08-23-2005, 06:00 PM
It has a lonely feel to it its simple yet very deep

08-23-2005, 06:20 PM
Thanx for the feedback man, it's deeply appreciated. Lets get some more. ONE

08-24-2005, 07:18 AM
Its quite an indepth verse. And has its own imagery. Seems to provide a searching mentality,distand from most things, curious-actually notorious! But its very omnipresent. kind of dynamic.


08-24-2005, 12:37 PM
Yeh yeh, thanx a lot man. It's appreciated. Keep coming with the feedback. ONE

08-25-2005, 03:26 PM
i think its sick G.

08-26-2005, 12:28 PM
Way TOO Simple. I like the idea of people expanding poetry, but the message was like, too obvious. Maybe 4 more lines would've even it out. Although, it is a good, creative way to make a comparison. Original, but just too simple. Tell him to make more depth to it, and have more metaphors and double meanings beneath the lines. Peace.
no homo

08-26-2005, 03:21 PM
I think it can have a million meanings to it, depending on how you decipher it.