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Ritter
09-27-2008, 04:31 PM
Since I was a kid, I had to sleep with taped up eyelids
Cause the sink drip would be louder than the night riders
I never got paid, I'm too young to get laid
I study almost all day, no play, I don't even know what's getting airplay
I feel pain when getting X-Ray'd, I don't like Cam'ron, I never felt his pink phase
If you meet me on the street, you could kiss my feet, I wouldn't notice you exist
I'm deep in the mist, self-centered, I'm smoother than a 3D image getting rendered
I'm no offender, I never tasted drugs, and don't intend to
I've never get drunk, my friends neither, on parties, they only pretend to
When I go to my friends house, we play Nintendo
I never played tennis; Pictures is the only way I can see Venice
I never crossed the border, as I'm getting older, I won't see a different area code...er?
My raps are pretty wack, I could get lyrically smacked by a jammed gat
When I get a papercut, looks like I was rammed with a spiked bat
My skin is irritated, I have zits, I have to watch free porn, just to see tits
I'm the laughing stock, I'm the black sheep in my family's flock
Once when I came back from school, my mother changed the locks
I'm a backpacker, I like wack rappers, my mood is determined by the climatic factors
My main influence is Rick Rawse, when I heard the cop-killer was a cop, I thought he was a bawse
I use a wireless mawse, when my batteries go dead, I can't afford new ones
I bought all my clothes from food coupons at "Alfons"
There's 4 of us in a no-bedroom apartment
When our shirts get dirty, we use our ancestor garments
It's just that, laugh at me if you like, but I can end your life with a mic

DR. NICK RIVIERA
09-27-2008, 04:43 PM
Age: 15
Great for the age.


Why the half-emo style tho? lol

THE MASON
09-27-2008, 04:50 PM
tight verse, little more "from the heart" then your other verses i find, still dope tho

Peace

Ritter
09-27-2008, 04:56 PM
Thanks, this was sorta like an experiment.

I listened to Eminem's earlier work, and wanted to write a verse like that, just to test myself.

Peace

Edit: You're free to contribute if you want to.

DR. NICK RIVIERA
09-27-2008, 05:11 PM
Maybe I will. :)

Maccabee Ridah
09-27-2008, 07:02 PM
Again, great one!!!! I like this style, pretty simple than Asylum one, and lots of easier to read (sayin this cuz I'm currently havin terrible headache so any shyt complicated than this wouldn't be acceptable) :D

P.E.A.C.E. bro'......

Ritter
09-27-2008, 07:54 PM
The Asylum is currently closed for renovation.

Some guy broke a gaspipe, but very little, so the gas leak was minimal.

However, a nurse lit a cigarette by that gaspipe and blew shit up.

17 dead, 3 are missing, and only 1 person has chance of survival. But he/she won't survive.

SHEEPISH LORD OF CHAOS
09-27-2008, 08:09 PM
nice verse man i like the concept n change in style