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Huggasaurus Sex
10-03-2008, 10:38 AM
i will periodically update this thread with useful tips and advice on using your boner to have sex with beautiful women. i hope it aids you in your endless quest for beautiful boner sex.

i will begin by laying down the 3 most fundamental aspects of having boner sex with beautiful women.



1. the woman

this is very simple and straightforward: you must find yourself a suitable woman to have sex with. in this case suitable means beautiful and open to the idea of your boner going into her vagina hole. beautiful women are easy to spot because they're not fat ugly pieces of shit. when you see a beautiful woman you should talk to her and try to get her to have sex with you.

one thing i have to note here is that if you're having sex with ugly women you need to stop doing that and find yourself a hot babe who wants your boner. this is the first step.



2. the boner

this step seems obvious but it's essential and it serves an important purpose. once you've got your beautiful woman you should look at her. look at her tits. and her ass. and her vag. now look at your pants. is there a boner in there? confirm that there is. if not that means your woman is not beautiful enough and you need to go back to step 1.

if you do have a boner in your pants then that means you're ready to have amazing sex with a beautiful woman. but -- and this is crucial -- never forget the boner. limp wiener sex is the worst. if you're having limp wiener sex you need to stop doing that and get yourself a boner.



3. the sex

now that you have your beautiful woman and your awesome boner it's time to have sex. just memorize this sex tutorial and you should be fine:

-insert your boner into her vagina hole.
-pull out a little bit.
-repeat.

there are variations on this that i will discuss in the future but for now just remember that you can't tell your friends you had boner sex with a beautiful woman if there's no penetration. dry humping is not sex. a hand job is not sex. if you are repeatedly thrusting your penis into things that are not natural body orifices then it's not sex and you need to stop doing that.


~




more advice will follow. if you have any questions, feel free to ask.




oh and you're welcome.

cap
10-03-2008, 10:52 AM
haha good to know

Blackula Spectacula
10-03-2008, 10:54 AM
*takes notes*

TheWolf
10-03-2008, 10:55 AM
*prints page and hits duh club*

Blackula Spectacula
10-03-2008, 10:58 AM
it's 11 am ..... I think firm needs to do a tutorial on when and where to pick up suitable beautiful women.

TheWolf
10-03-2008, 10:59 AM
its 11am where you are

Blackula Spectacula
10-03-2008, 11:03 AM
oh ... you're a euro .. my bad

TheWolf
10-03-2008, 11:04 AM
Exactly, where I am it's..........PAR-TAY TIME!!!!!

Actually it's 4pm.

TSA
10-03-2008, 11:04 AM
looks like someone lost his virginity

Blackula Spectacula
10-03-2008, 11:05 AM
Exactly, where I am it's..........PAR-TAY TIME!!!!!

Actually it's 4pm.

still too early for the clubs

INF
10-03-2008, 11:08 AM
http://www.ronalfy.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/hand_raising.jpg

I once heard something about putting the boner in the womans mouth and dare I say....ass. What you got here says to just put the boner in the vagina.


I'm confused. Were these myths that I heard of ( the mouth and the ass)?












just checking.

DJMethods
10-03-2008, 11:09 AM
Blackula's my lab partner

Blackula Spectacula
10-03-2008, 11:10 AM
your mothers our lab subject/equipment

DJMethods
10-03-2008, 11:11 AM
No wonder she has crabs

Get yoself checked Black

Blackula Spectacula
10-03-2008, 11:13 AM
I can't produce the boner *looks at you* ... don't go pointing the finger at me.

DJMethods
10-03-2008, 11:20 AM
Dont worry, B has enough boner for both of us

Durag
10-03-2008, 12:05 PM
I have a boner reading this thread

Olive Oil Goombah
10-03-2008, 03:57 PM
hahahaha.....boner

SKAMPOE
10-03-2008, 04:12 PM
http://www.leethacker.com/images/uyk9ldyamekvz5qrwj1y.gif (http://www.leethacker.com/images/uyk9ldyamekvz5qrwj1y.gif)

Olive Oil Goombah
10-03-2008, 04:18 PM
hahahahahah....skampoe

Longbongcilvaringz
10-03-2008, 04:25 PM
hahaha

oh dear skamply

what ever will we do with you.

Longbongcilvaringz
10-03-2008, 04:49 PM
2. the boner

this step seems obvious but it's essential and it serves an important purpose. once you've got your beautiful woman you should look at her. look at her tits. and her ass. and her vag. now look at your pants. is there a boner in there? confirm that there is. if not that means your woman is not beautiful enough and you need to go back to step 1.

if you do have a boner in your pants then that means you're ready to have amazing sex with a beautiful woman. but -- and this is crucial -- never forget the boner. limp wiener sex is the worst. if you're having limp wiener sex you need to stop doing that and get yourself a boner.




Wait.


what?

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/050826/12419__spader_l.jpg

*laughs to myself while no one else gets joke*

HANZO
10-03-2008, 05:57 PM
damn you Pat and your inside jokes..

crust
10-03-2008, 06:07 PM
dope!

i'll have my secretary make a note of this.

http://www.cropdusters.biz/secretary5.jpg

thanks :)