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Professor Poopsnagle
11-29-2008, 11:01 AM
My girlfriend is hotter than a calendar girl and looks classier than a Bond girl. That's mainly the reason I fell in love with her almost two years ago. I'm shallow like that, at least I used to be.

A few months into our relationship I started to look beyond her stunning figure and beautiful face and came to realise that she was mildly retarded. And by that I mean that she has an IQ of somewhere between 70 and 80.

At first I didn't mind really, because the sex is outstanding and she knows her way around the vacuum cleaner plus she can fetch the mail, so that was all gravy.

But she keeps blurting out the most inane questions and retarded comments. Like the other night I was watching football (soccer for the yanks) and she just came sitting next to me, pretending to be interested in the game. On tv, the pitch was starting to get snowed under and they switched from a white ball to an orange one for obvious reasons. Then at some point my girl asked me why they do that. That's just to give you an example of how mentally deficient she is. I could think of plenty more examples right now, but I don't I could handle that much stupidity in one hour.

It's not just the things she says, but also the things she does, or doesn't. I can't let her do the groceries, because she doesn't know the difference between diet coke and normal coke, chocolat icecream and straciatella and she always gets the wrong beer brand.

She can't cook and I still have macaroni burns on some pans from last time she tried. She listens to the most heinous pop music and likes to sing along with that horrible voice of hers. She even got it into her head to enter that Idols show and I couldn't talk her out of it, so we went to an audition in our area. Needless to say, she came out crying because she got told the fuck off by the jury.

Luckily they didn't air that little bubble burst, because god forbid my parents and friends would see that. They already know what a dumb bitch she is and although they don't have the balls to say it, I know they're thinking it.

Normally I would love to show her off to everyone, but the way she acts I'm ashamed to even be seen with her in public. She does stupid dances every where, sings out loud, talks about me to strangers, thinks it's funny to walk the opposit direction of the electric stairs at the mall etc. She acts like a damn teenager when she is nearly 30.

Last night I decided to put it in her butthole without warning and just kept fucking her hard and didn't stop when she started yelling and begging me to stop. I just kept going untill I came and it felt like payback. Rape some might say, but it felt rightious as Christ. Of course I had to appologize afterwards and tell her I got caught up in the moment, but I wouldn't mind if she broke up with me.

Regardless of all the embaressment and headaches, I've always been nice to her, but I don't think I can keep up this facade much longer. Last week I had a dream I pimped her out to random strangers, right now that doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

Olive Oil Goombah
11-29-2008, 11:05 AM
LOL..so whats the problem again???

Professor Poopsnagle
11-29-2008, 11:13 AM
The problem is that I want to kill her and I need some tips on dead body disposal. For some reason Wu Tang Corp seemed like the right place to ask for advice.

By the way, that's not my girlfriends ass in my avatar.

supreme M
11-29-2008, 11:14 AM
hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahah
jesus

post her picture

Olive Oil Goombah
11-29-2008, 11:18 AM
we kno...its blackula's upside down bottom.


If you really dislike her and want to piss her off, masturbate and nut on her face while shit is sleeping. If she doesnt wake up or is too dumb to figure it out, keep doing it.

Longbongcilvaringz
11-29-2008, 11:21 AM
The problem is that I want to kill her and I need some tips on dead body disposal. For some reason Wu Tang Corp seemed like the right place to ask for advice.

By the way, that's not my girlfriends ass in my avatar.

Rent a space in the meat packing district and fill a bath tub with lime, place her body in there.

6 months.

Olive Oil Goombah
11-29-2008, 11:39 AM
bateman has murdered before or will murder in the future. The corp name is no a gimmick, its a lifestyle.

Tyler Durden
11-29-2008, 11:42 AM
If you mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate, you can make napalm.

May come in handy

TSA
11-29-2008, 11:44 AM
lol i just went through the exact same thing, and sorta stil do only i use her for money and sex and i single so i can sow my royal oats elsewhere.

my girlfriend was really good looking, but as thing progressed she got dumber and dumberand more embarassing to take out to the public cause she was humiliatingly childlike and pathetic.


her dad gives her 1000 dollars for no reason periodically and she has no bills to pay, but always ends up with a debt


what the fuck?

totally fuckup/dumbass, the worst part is she's the biggest F.O.B (fresh off the boat) in the history of Fobanomics. I kid you not, but i had to explain sperm to her

wow.


and she keeps thinking the end of sex is when she's tired.
and she doesn't know how to pleasure anyone, she's just a stiff wet hole.
she also thinks if you fuck during your period the blood will 'go back inside' causing her to die.


turns out the idiotic sexual retardation is genetic. Her mom died cause she was essentially carrying a dead baby in her stomach and the doctors said she had to get an abortion or she would die..LIKE THE ALREADY DEAD BABY and she refused.


WHAT.A.FUCK.ING.MORON.


And now she's all psycho and depressed about it, dumbasses. Only she's cut off all her hair (before i met her) and had random bouts of depression where she calls me for no good reason and says nothing, just "i dont know" like a fuckin psychopath

oh well,

P.ussy
E.arns
A. Nigga
C.ash
E.veryday

INF
11-29-2008, 12:32 PM
The problem is that I want to kill her and I need some tips on dead body disposal. For some reason Wu Tang Corp seemed like the right place to ask for advice.



just have a friend of yours fuck her and walk in on it like its a surprise and you are pissed.


immediately go for the kill. I would say strangle. Dont movie strangle though , do that shit for a good ten minutes straight.


bail the scene and have homie call the cops and report that somebody broke in and they had murdered ur girl and ur homie fought for his life


I'm pretty sure this will work.




wait for the great Dane though cuz Im almost positive that he has hands on experience with this type stuff


I'm just going off what I've seen from forensic shows on tru tv

Suga Duga
11-29-2008, 12:44 PM
she also thinks if you fuck during your period the blood will 'go back inside' causing her to die.



GEH OH DEE!!

Rame
11-29-2008, 01:22 PM
You can give the girl to me if you don't want her anymore.

I need a pic first though.

netscape check two
11-29-2008, 01:39 PM
Dead Body Disposal song

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/iSYCh0NuBuY&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/iSYCh0NuBuY&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

cap
11-29-2008, 01:57 PM
hahaha actually laughed when i read that 1st post.
yeah the longer you wait the harder it gets,but if you live near belgium maybe we can work something out,if she's really that hot lol

Olive Oil Goombah
11-29-2008, 02:02 PM
im going to Belgium. Leiden I think.

cap
11-29-2008, 02:05 PM
im going to Belgium. Leiden I think.

never heard of leiden,you sure you got it right?
and if you come here,be prepared to see many paesa's haha


why the fuck would anyobdy wanna visit belgium?

Olive Oil Goombah
11-29-2008, 02:17 PM
Yea, I got it right. I'm going there for a school program and some credits, but mainly cuz its a way to see Europe cheaply.
We are going to hear a lecture at the University of Leiden.

minibumpsh
11-29-2008, 02:18 PM
so if you think shes dumb and you don't wanna be with her, why don''t you just be a man and breaK up with her so that she can be with someone who appreciates her...

Blackula Spectacula
11-29-2008, 02:21 PM
you're stupid like her for even staying this long with her.


You've no remorse towards the things you're saying about her and the butt rape thing .. jesus, you might aswell dump out loud her in a huge sea of ppl for everyone to witness.

Olive Oil Goombah
11-29-2008, 02:22 PM
u went from drug addict to greewich village yuppie overnight.....wuts next? Your gonna get in touch with your asian roots and work at a nail salon.

netscape check two
11-29-2008, 02:23 PM
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/515U1r3JOrL._SS500_.jpg

Blackula Spectacula
11-29-2008, 02:24 PM
are all those girls in your sig named Michigan? if so .. Sure .. I would.

minibumpsh
11-29-2008, 02:25 PM
u went from drug addict to greewich village yuppie overnight.....wuts next? Your gonna get in touch with your asian roots and work at a nail salon.
baby take it easee

Olive Oil Goombah
11-29-2008, 02:25 PM
are all those girls in your sig named Michigan? if so .. Sure .. I would.

yea...you seem to have more pussy lust than most of the queer ass dudes here. All they do is bitch about my fuck Michigan ladies.

Olive Oil Goombah
11-29-2008, 02:26 PM
baby take it easee

that was harsh your right. I like this new, more mature minibumpsh.

Blackula Spectacula
11-29-2008, 02:28 PM
hahaha all she has to do is call you baby and you back off ...


Sucka fo luhv



Good Job Mini

Olive Oil Goombah
11-29-2008, 02:30 PM
oh u kno me blacky..im a softy and a romantic

Rame
11-29-2008, 02:57 PM
Leiden is in Holland.

Olive Oil Goombah
11-29-2008, 03:01 PM
yea, well im going to holland, belgium and france

Koolish
11-29-2008, 03:08 PM
yea...you seem to have more pussy lust than most of the queer ass dudes here. All they do is bitch about my fuck Michigan ladies.

how can people bitch about a photo like that? shit, american girls are where it's at too.

drippie k
11-29-2008, 05:43 PM
why dont you do stupid shit to embarrass her or get her real mad and make her break up with you, that always works

whitey
11-29-2008, 06:11 PM
just keep fucking her in the butt.

Professor Poopsnagle
11-29-2008, 06:36 PM
so if you think shes dumb and you don't wanna be with her, why don''t you just be a man and breaK up with her so that she can be with someone who appreciates her...Like I said, the sex is fantastic and I don't think I could ever land a girl as hot as her. I could live with her not being very smart, but it's the whole childish behavior that makes me want to choke her.

you're stupid like her for even staying this long with her.


You've no remorse towards the things you're saying about her and the butt rape thing .. jesus, you might aswell dump out loud her in a huge sea of ppl for everyone to witness.I was careless when I raped her ass and I shouldn't have appologized for it. She thinks I love her, but that feeling has been long gone. I just want to think of a way to keep fucking her without dealing with her atrocious personality.

beautifulrock
11-29-2008, 06:40 PM
u want her gone? show her this thread

11th Chamber
11-29-2008, 06:43 PM
The problem is that I want to kill her and I need some tips on dead body disposal. For some reason Wu Tang Corp seemed like the right place to ask for advice.


Goto a cemetary, and find an empty grave, which will be filled in a day or two with a casket.

Bury the body under the dirt, deep enough and packed enough so you can stand on it and not really tell. Then just let what happens next happen

Soon a casket will be placed in that spot, and your little dead body problem will never be an issue

zooruka
11-29-2008, 07:57 PM
the guy that made this thread needs to show some respect..really some of the shit he said in his opening statement is wrong ( like butt raping her):no:

IF YOU DONT LIKE HER THEN BREAKUP WITH HER .....SIMPLE AS THAT !

peace

Cee Oh Vee
11-29-2008, 08:14 PM
I could live with her not being very smart, but it's the whole childish behavior that makes me want to choke her.

I just want to think of a way to keep fucking her without dealing with her atrocious personality.

HAHAH. You crack me up.

But why don't you tell her to grow up and stop acting like a kid?

Professor Poopsnagle
11-29-2008, 08:29 PM
I wish it could be that simple. I've told her to behave herself and stop making me feel ashamed of her, but she just wont listen. One time I told her to quit being such a baby, instead of acting her age, she referred to me as 'dada' the whole week and walked around the house with a pacifier in her mouth.

IrOnMaN
11-29-2008, 08:54 PM
Like I said, the sex is fantastic and I don't think I could ever land a girl as hot as her. I could live with her not being very smart, but it's the whole childish behavior that makes me want to choke her.



I was careless when I raped her ass and I shouldn't have appologized for it. She thinks I love her, but that feeling has been long gone. I just want to think of a way to keep fucking her without dealing with her atrocious personality.

I know men who have girlfriends like yours. They're only good for food and sex. That's possible.

tajeco
11-30-2008, 02:21 AM
Where'd you hear that "rectum? damn near killed him"? My dad said that before, I thought he made it up with all his other little sayings.

And those are probably Ohio State girls in Nicky Tooch's sig.

whitey
11-30-2008, 02:35 AM
its from tommy boy. i would assume probably existed before the movie.

tajeco
11-30-2008, 02:46 AM
Tommy Boy's funny stuff. "Who's your favorite little rascal? Was it Spanky?"

Professor Poopsnagle
12-18-2008, 11:48 AM
I know men who have girlfriends like yours. They're only good for food and sex. That's possible.
Bitch is not even good for food.

Last weekend she got a recipe from some cooking website and probably fucked up. The meal tasted like burnt carpet and mothballs.

I smacked my cock in her eye last night and nutted in her hair. She got mad and when she washed her hair in the shower after that, I turned open the hot water downstairs and she got cold water. When I heard her scream I did a Peter Crouch robot in the kitchen and went to bed.

http://f5.putfile.com/5/14918114583.gif

WARPATH
12-18-2008, 11:56 AM
My girlfriend is hotter than a calendar girl and looks classier than a Bond girl. That's mainly the reason I fell in love with her almost two years ago. I'm shallow like that, at least I used to be.

A few months into our relationship I started to look beyond her stunning figure and beautiful face and came to realise that she was mildly retarded. And by that I mean that she has an IQ of somewhere between 70 and 80.

At first I didn't mind really, because the sex is outstanding and she knows her way around the vacuum cleaner plus she can fetch the mail, so that was all gravy.

But she keeps blurting out the most inane questions and retarded comments. Like the other night I was watching football (soccer for the yanks) and she just came sitting next to me, pretending to be interested in the game. On tv, the pitch was starting to get snowed under and they switched from a white ball to an orange one for obvious reasons. Then at some point my girl asked me why they do that. That's just to give you an example of how mentally deficient she is. I could think of plenty more examples right now, but I don't I could handle that much stupidity in one hour.

It's not just the things she says, but also the things she does, or doesn't. I can't let her do the groceries, because she doesn't know the difference between diet coke and normal coke, chocolat icecream and straciatella and she always gets the wrong beer brand.

She can't cook and I still have macaroni burns on some pans from last time she tried. She listens to the most heinous pop music and likes to sing along with that horrible voice of hers. She even got it into her head to enter that Idols show and I couldn't talk her out of it, so we went to an audition in our area. Needless to say, she came out crying because she got told the fuck off by the jury.

Luckily they didn't air that little bubble burst, because god forbid my parents and friends would see that. They already know what a dumb bitch she is and although they don't have the balls to say it, I know they're thinking it.

Normally I would love to show her off to everyone, but the way she acts I'm ashamed to even be seen with her in public. She does stupid dances every where, sings out loud, talks about me to strangers, thinks it's funny to walk the opposit direction of the electric stairs at the mall etc. She acts like a damn teenager when she is nearly 30.

Last night I decided to put it in her butthole without warning and just kept fucking her hard and didn't stop when she started yelling and begging me to stop. I just kept going untill I came and it felt like payback. Rape some might say, but it felt rightious as Christ. Of course I had to appologize afterwards and tell her I got caught up in the moment, but I wouldn't mind if she broke up with me.

Regardless of all the embaressment and headaches, I've always been nice to her, but I don't think I can keep up this facade much longer. Last week I had a dream I pimped her out to random strangers, right now that doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

LOL

Pimps go through these types of things from time to time.

RADIOACTIVE MAN
12-18-2008, 12:35 PM
how did i miss this brilliant thread

Professor Poopsnagle
12-18-2008, 05:00 PM
Bitch is not even good for food.

Last weekend she got a recipe from some cooking website and probably fucked up. The meal tasted like burnt carpet and mothballs.

I smacked my cock in her eye last night and nutted in her hair. She got mad and when she washed her hair in the shower after that, I turned open the hot water downstairs and she got cold water. When I heard her scream I did a Peter Crouch robot in the kitchen and went to bed.

http://f5.putfile.com/5/14918114583.gifCrouch gif added for realness.

how did i miss this brilliant threadBecause no one on this site knows me and those who do ignore me.

WARPATH
12-18-2008, 05:19 PM
Crouch gif added for realness.

Because no one on this site knows me and those who do ignore me.

Your resume isn't that impressive.

You should post pictures of your girlfriend, that would help, I think.

Professor Poopsnagle
12-18-2008, 05:23 PM
I already posted them.

http://i37.tinypic.com/28mipev.jpg

http://i36.tinypic.com/33a6hhg.jpg

supreme M
12-18-2008, 05:58 PM
is she the one too the left? lol she wasent even hot at all

KERZO
12-18-2008, 05:58 PM
^ you look lonely in yer champions jumper,lmfao hahaha j/k

11th Chamber
12-18-2008, 06:07 PM
tell the bitch on the far right that I want to fuck her throat and bust on her glasses

supreme M
12-18-2008, 06:11 PM
^ word

WARPATH
12-18-2008, 06:12 PM
I already posted them.

http://i37.tinypic.com/28mipev.jpg

http://i36.tinypic.com/33a6hhg.jpg

Ok here's what you do.

Tell her that you've always fantasized about watching her fuck another man.

Drive to my house.

Watch me fuck her in the eyeball.

Then when your driving home say........I can't get the though of you fucking that other guy, it breaks my heart, you looked like you enjoyed yourself more than with me you should just go be with him.

or

Tell her you loved it and want her to do it more.

then

Then dump her on the side of the road, or proceed to pimp her out. You make the call.

INF
12-18-2008, 06:53 PM
see I told you about having somebody else fuck her. Thats all you gotta do.

netscape check two
12-18-2008, 07:44 PM
I already posted them.

http://i37.tinypic.com/28mipev.jpg

http://i36.tinypic.com/33a6hhg.jpg

Are you the dude from that show Worst Week?