View Full Version : News Schmooze!! Beat This!

12-05-2008, 05:07 PM
A VICAR turned up in agony at a hospital — with a potato stuck in his bottom.
The clergyman told stunned casualty nurses he fell backwards on to his kitchen table while hanging curtains.

He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap.

Mishap ... potato
The embarrassed reverend, in his 50s, had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the offending vegetable.

The spud was yesterday revealed to be among a litany of objects medics in Sheffield have removed from people’s nether regions.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll — and a carnation.

Like most of the other patients, the red-faced vicar insisted to staff at the city’s Northern General Hospital that his predicament was NOT the result of a sex game gone wrong.

A & E nurse Trudi Watson said: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

“But it’s not for me to question his story.

“He had to undergo surgery to have it removed.”

She admitted some sex-related emergencies had made staff chuckle. But she urged anyone contemplating sticking something where the sun doesn’t shine to think again.

Ms Watson said: “My advice? Don’t do it.


“It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening.

“Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring, and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result.”

Health staff across Sheffield, Barnsley, Rotherham and Doncaster say they are no longer surprised at the things people use to spice up fun in the bedroom.

A hospital trust spokeswoman in Sheffield said: “Like all busy hospitals we do see some unusual accidents.

“But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way.”

a.taylor@the-sun.co.uk TSA's Daddy? Perhaps (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1876886.ece)


12-05-2008, 05:09 PM
hahahah wat a retard

12-05-2008, 05:33 PM
she sucked, I didn't close the door... way more interesting that way...

BTW, those rep comments were freaking hilarious...thanks people, you know who you are.

Night fogeys.

12-07-2008, 06:31 AM
So did he keep the spud, chop it into chips and feed it to the hungry church folk the following sunday? hahahahhaha :lmao:

12-07-2008, 08:27 AM
He should join wucorp...

12-07-2008, 08:31 AM
It was a million to one shot doc!

12-09-2008, 04:02 PM

Here is the much talked about urine cleaning machine that is being tested on the space station. Now if they can only find someone to take the first swig?



Shake a leg - Japan Style
November 25th, 2008 · No Comments
“I wanted to see women get scared and shake their legs,” police quoted 35-year-old Manabu Mizuta as saying.

This guy looks like quite a fetish lover and maybe one that will spend some time in lock-up.

A Japanese man was arrested for releasing hundreds of beetle larvae inside a moving express train to try to scare female passengers, police said Tuesday.

Local police had been on alert after 18 similar cases of released worms had been reported this month by the same train operator.

“When the arrest was made, the man had nearly emptied a container, which is believed to have held 200 worms,” he said. “You cannot count them because there are so many. Mizuta had 10 containers in his backpack estimated to contain a total of 3,600 worms, police said.

“We have the worms sitting inside the police station right now,” the spokesman said. “You see them wriggling inside their clear cases. It’s really disgusting.”

What a nut job, but at least he did not release deadly gas.

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Three men and three women have been charged, because they found a way to meet up in jail and have sex. The inmates figured out how to remove metal ceiling panels in the Greene County Jail and used the passageway more than a dozen times in September and October, according to court documents.

The men — ages 44, 38 and 17 — and the women — ages 27, 26 and 21 — crawled through the ceiling after midnight, having sexual encounters and drinking homemade alcohol that was found hidden in the male cell block, a police affidavit said.

One male inmate who was not charged said the female inmates would “hang-out, play cards or have sex with some of the male inmates” in their cell block, the affidavit said.

The inmates were able to find a security camera “blind spot” where they could remove ceiling tiles and create a passage between the cell blocks, Sheriff Terry Pierce said Tuesday.

The inmates used a shower drain as a tool to loosen security screws and the ceiling tiles were carefully replaced so they did not appear to be disturbed, Pierce said. This is a prime example of the old adage; “where there is a will, there is a way” - makes for much more enjoyable jail-time I guess.

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